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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

363 replies

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 16:26

My child (7 years old)got a party invite via a WhatsApp group. I asked him if he wanted to come, he did, and I replied saying he would love to come on the group. So far, so normal.

I then was removed from the group, and received a message to say that his invite was a mistake.

AIBU to think regardless of mistakes, you don't uninvite? My child has been in nursery/school with this child for years, they play together, and it's not a small party either, or one where numbers are critical or pay per head (just a party at home, which is also fine, and I know they have a good size home and garden).

I don't care that he isn't invited, just that he has been invited, when he is aware of the invite now. He will now be hearing kids talking about the party at school, thinking he is going, but not able to go.

OP posts:
Onedayiwillsomething · 21/05/2025 17:49

Just tell your child that you have double booked with laser quest/trampolining/zoo and so he can’t go. You’ve got the measure of this woman now, don’t get involved with her again.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:48

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:46

She said sorry. What on earth do you expect her to do to put in right other than invite a child she doesn’t want to invite to a party. The kid clearly isn’t wanted there, why on earth would you want him to go? It’s not as if she’s going round killing kittens. She doesn’t have to do anything. She obviously doesn’t care or she wouldn’t have uninvited him. She could say the same thing about the Op, making a huge fuss and not accepting her apology.

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I’d expect the invitation to stand, that’s what I’d expect.

thetrumanshow · 21/05/2025 17:48

It's unpleasant, but it was a mistake. You telling her that she was rude is worst, careful she doesn't warn people about you reacting so much.

OP, if it's really one of these parties when a few more or less make no difference, then there's a reason why your child was not invited, do you really want to dig that one?

Maybe she told the birthday child "xyz just replied, he's coming" and said child got really upset? Who knows.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:47

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:45

I bet you've never made a mistake in your life 🤣

Who are you taking to?

You’re making mistakes constantly on this thread alone! Bloody quote or tag whoever you are having a go at!

I suppose you get used to fronting out mistakes and not taking ownership!

Original poster
Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 17:47

KelseyParkGoose · 21/05/2025 17:27

Is this a child your DC is friends with or did it feel like quite a random invite?

It might be uncomfortable for your DC to have turned up to a party if they’re the only one who isn’t part of the friendship group because they were a completely random addition through a name mix-up.

As mentioned in the op, he has known this child for years and they play together. To me I understand that as a friend, but I know friendships are quite fluid at this age. He would have known the other children at the party too, who are his friends.

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 21/05/2025 17:47

That's awful behaviour. YANBU.

Even if you do invite the wrong child by accident, once they've accepted you just suck it up.

BunnyLake · 21/05/2025 17:47

She is incredibly rude and has zero social graces. I’d be giving her a wide berth from now on.

mondaytosunday · 21/05/2025 17:47

@Talipesmumnot so quick as there was time for the child in question to be asked and the OP reply. Even if it had been a genuine mistake you honour the invite!
I once was doing invites for my son at his new school and had the class list with contact details. There was a name on it that he didn’t seem to recognise, but I felt it would be terrible to leave one child out of a whole class party, so emailed them the invite.
Well they actually were not in the class, they weren’t even in the school anymore! The list just hadn’t been updated. The mother accepted and it was only when he arrived and my son said he’d never seen him before did she explain that she was so grateful I included him as he had been missing his old friends. It was a pay per head but of course it was no issue and I just bluffed it out. That’s what I would hope someone would do for my child.

Spinachpastapicker · 21/05/2025 17:46

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 21/05/2025 17:33

It’s not rude it’s evil.

Thats rather extreme. Evil as a description should be used for murders or rapists and the like, not someone making a mistake with a party invite.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:46

FuckityFux · 21/05/2025 17:20

N’ah! An adult who makes a mistake needs to take some bloody responsibility to put it right instead of brushing it under the carpet.

OP had replied to accept on the WhatsApp before some of the others replied so if it’s a question of numbers, the party mum should have rescinded one of the late responders invites instead.

At a minimum she should have apologised profusely and explained what went wrong.

Uninviting a 7yr old child to a birthday party without a decent explanation as if it’s no big deal is crap parenting 101 and she deserves to be called out on her shitty behaviour.

Edited
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She said sorry. What on earth do you expect her to do to put in right other than invite a child she doesn’t want to invite to a party. The kid clearly isn’t wanted there, why on earth would you want him to go? It’s not as if she’s going round killing kittens. She doesn’t have to do anything. She obviously doesn’t care or she wouldn’t have uninvited him. She could say the same thing about the Op, making a huge fuss and not accepting her apology.

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:45

I bet you've never made a mistake in your life 🤣

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:44

Personally I think the mother and mothers like you are the one upsetting the child. It should be water off a ducks back and you should be teaching your children that. Do you have some unresolved issues over birthday parties?

Nanny0gg · 21/05/2025 17:44

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:38

I don't know which is why I wouldn't comment on that. What I'm saying is there certainly is a reason, the inviter is providing the location, which is even more important as it is her HOME, dealing with the expense and whatever reason she has be it too many kids attending or a child that potentially could be a problem that is her choice.

Then she should have been more careful when she sent the invitations out

Spinachpastapicker · 21/05/2025 17:42

LunchtimeNaps · 21/05/2025 17:27

My youngest was left of off a few party invites from the same clique of parents and I was told by a mutual
friend is was because of the job DP and I do. 🤣

Police or teachers is my bet!

Nanny0gg · 21/05/2025 17:42

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:41

No, I don’t. I prefer people in my social group to be my own age. I do have a teenage daughter, so yes I have met and known many 7 year olds at some point and them children certainly have not been impacted so negatively by being uninvited to a party. Did care, couldn’t even tell you if it was a Friday or Saturday. The thing is kids need to understand that they’re not going to be included in everything. Move on. Get over it.

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There really are some bloody horrible people out there these days

So many don't think of anyone else

Nanny0gg · 21/05/2025 17:41

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:36

I'm saying you are bring dramatic. If being disinvited from an event at 7 years old haunts you, I'm not surprised you are having this reaction to a post where we have very little information on the actual story of WHY he may have been uninvited.

I would never have anyone in my house I didn't want there. Adult or child, simple. And I would not be extending pity invites out of a mistake or courtesy.

There really are some unkind, rude people out there these days

If it was your mistake, unless bullying, then you should own it.

He's seven for god's sake! Who goes out of their way to upset a kid?

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:41

EsmeSusanOgg · 21/05/2025 17:17

Do you know many 7 year olds? This is absolutely the sort of thing they understand, and are impacted by.

Perhaps you were fortunate enough to never be excluded in this way growing up. But this is something that does impact children of this age.

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No, I don’t. I prefer people in my social group to be my own age. I do have a teenage daughter, so yes I have met and known many 7 year olds at some point and them children certainly have not been impacted so negatively by being uninvited to a party. Did care, couldn’t even tell you if it was a Friday or Saturday. The thing is kids need to understand that they’re not going to be included in everything. Move on. Get over it.

BunnyEaster · 21/05/2025 17:40

People are weird and rude. My dds entire class was invited to a whole class party. Dd was not. She has ASD. The mum of the party boy made a real effect to come up to me and another mum saying how sad it was that my mum mates child couldn't go as everyone else was there, that child was so delightful, popular, polite, well behaved and everyone loves her.

I felt like saying "so unlike my shit head of a child eh?. I get it. I'm not completely stupid and your laying on the snide insults with the grace of bulldozer"

Op ot really hurts but unfortunately it's part of the course bring a mum so don't take it personally. It's her, not you.

They might end up on the receiving end eventually. The mum above was moaning to my dh her son is being picked on now by a lot of the boys in his class years later. I doubt she sees the irony. It sucks

CautiousLurker01 · 21/05/2025 17:40

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 16:33

I have said her uninviting him is rude. She said sorry and it's 'just' a mistake. No backstory. I think she really has no insight.

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I’d be asking her to explain her mistake to my son in person then.

AutumnLover1989 · 21/05/2025 17:40

Do you know why you have removed from the group?

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:39

Lifeofryan · 21/05/2025 17:35

I think we've got the host mum on here!

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😆

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:39

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:38

I don't know which is why I wouldn't comment on that. What I'm saying is there certainly is a reason, the inviter is providing the location, which is even more important as it is her HOME, dealing with the expense and whatever reason she has be it too many kids attending or a child that potentially could be a problem that is her choice.

Who are you answering?

thepariscrimefiles · 21/05/2025 17:39

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:36

I'm saying you are bring dramatic. If being disinvited from an event at 7 years old haunts you, I'm not surprised you are having this reaction to a post where we have very little information on the actual story of WHY he may have been uninvited.

I would never have anyone in my house I didn't want there. Adult or child, simple. And I would not be extending pity invites out of a mistake or courtesy.

It's quite obvious that you would never do anything out of courtesy. I would assume that you and courtesy are strangers to each other.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:38

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:36

I'm saying you are bring dramatic. If being disinvited from an event at 7 years old haunts you, I'm not surprised you are having this reaction to a post where we have very little information on the actual story of WHY he may have been uninvited.

I would never have anyone in my house I didn't want there. Adult or child, simple. And I would not be extending pity invites out of a mistake or courtesy.

Another one who doesn’t own her mistakes…..

Capital letters do not make your point any stronger.

You might also want to quote what you’re responding to, because currently some of your posts are non sensical.