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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

363 replies

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 16:26

My child (7 years old)got a party invite via a WhatsApp group. I asked him if he wanted to come, he did, and I replied saying he would love to come on the group. So far, so normal.

I then was removed from the group, and received a message to say that his invite was a mistake.

AIBU to think regardless of mistakes, you don't uninvite? My child has been in nursery/school with this child for years, they play together, and it's not a small party either, or one where numbers are critical or pay per head (just a party at home, which is also fine, and I know they have a good size home and garden).

I don't care that he isn't invited, just that he has been invited, when he is aware of the invite now. He will now be hearing kids talking about the party at school, thinking he is going, but not able to go.

OP posts:
TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:02

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:00

You might think that but the parent clearly has other ideas. You do understand people have different ways of thinking and different expectations?

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Unsurprisingly and thankfully they are in the minority.

Which this thread shows.

Original poster
Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 18:01

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:57

Nope. Just someone who thinks op is making a massive deal out this and needs to deal with it.

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How have I made a big deal? I have just called out her behaviour as rude, after confirming that it indeed is! (Vast majority here have agreed)

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 21/05/2025 18:01

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 18:00

They can still play at school. He hasn't lost a friend. It's clear that playing outside of school won't happen based on her messages so far. If she wanted to invite him to a playdate instead she could have done.

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Just out of interest did you let her reply before you blocked her?

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:01

HarrietPierce · 21/05/2025 17:59

TooGoodToGoto

"I’d expect the invitation to stand, that’s what I’d expect."

As would any other decent person.

Agreed 👍

But sadly a limited amount, currently 2% and I think we know who both of those are, don’t have the same morals.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:00

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:48

I’d expect the invitation to stand, that’s what I’d expect.

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You might think that but the parent clearly has other ideas. You do understand people have different ways of thinking and different expectations?

Nursemumma92 · 21/05/2025 18:00

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:10

Let’s not get dramatic. Small social disaster? 😂 kids at 7 don’t even know what day it is. He’s hardly going to remember a date of the birthday. Not everyone will be invited to parties quicker he learns that the better.

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Kids pick up on all sorts- my 7 year old absolutely does know what day of the week it is. It is hurtful for a 7 year old to know and think he's going to a party then uninvited- kids could all be talking about it at school and he'd wonder why he did get to go in the end. I've seen this exact thing happen in my child's class- not where an invite is rescinded but where a parent couldn't be bothered to take the child at the last minute and he was devastated on the Monday when all his friends were talking about it and he'd missed it.

Original poster
Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 18:00

whitewineandsun · 21/05/2025 17:57

So, you've blocked her, which probably means your son has lost a friend he played with at school. Was there really no other way you adults could have fixed this mistake, so it didn't have to cost your child a friendship?

They can still play at school. He hasn't lost a friend. It's clear that playing outside of school won't happen based on her messages so far. If she wanted to invite him to a playdate instead she could have done.

OP posts:
HarrietPierce · 21/05/2025 17:59

TooGoodToGoto

"I’d expect the invitation to stand, that’s what I’d expect."

As would any other decent person.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:58

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:56

My mistake, I apologise. Should I be burned at the stake or called evil, selfish, inconsiderate, horrible over a silly mistake on a non issue. Point proven...

I'm actually talking to the many people who are over reacting about this and actually should be more concerned about encouraging some resilience in their children rather than attacking some unknown person they don't know and have no information on.

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Hooray 🥳!!!!!!

Well done!

You’ve mastered it!

Now work on the random upper case letters amongst your random posts?

Horses7 · 21/05/2025 17:58

Bordering on cruel - she’s a dumb and insensitive woman. Take your son somewhere nice without mentioning the party ever again.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:57

Lifeofryan · 21/05/2025 17:35

I think we've got the host mum on here!

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Nope. Just someone who thinks op is making a massive deal out this and needs to deal with it.

whitewineandsun · 21/05/2025 17:57

So, you've blocked her, which probably means your son has lost a friend he played with at school. Was there really no other way you adults could have fixed this mistake, so it didn't have to cost your child a friendship?

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:56

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:47

Who are you taking to?

You’re making mistakes constantly on this thread alone! Bloody quote or tag whoever you are having a go at!

I suppose you get used to fronting out mistakes and not taking ownership!

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My mistake, I apologise. Should I be burned at the stake or called evil, selfish, inconsiderate, horrible over a silly mistake on a non issue. Point proven...

I'm actually talking to the many people who are over reacting about this and actually should be more concerned about encouraging some resilience in their children rather than attacking some unknown person they don't know and have no information on.

SaintAgatha · 21/05/2025 17:56

Something similar happened to DD a few years ago. Bought an outfit for her and a gift for the birthday child. Was uninvited a few days beforehand. I gave DD the birthday gift and we went out for lunch instead, but I’m still salty about it.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:55

thepariscrimefiles · 21/05/2025 17:27

Not inviting him in the first place would be absolutely fine. Inviting him, even by accident, meant that he was told he was invited as his mum asked him if he wanted to go. Unless the venue is limited on numbers, which probably isn't the case as it is a party at home, it is rude and unkind to uninvite.

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what if the kid who’s birthday it is doesn’t want him there? He’s not invited for a reason. What if her kid just doesnt like him? Are you really suggesting the parent invite a kid who was invited by mistake, her own kid doesn’t want him there or like him but needs to invite him regardless of all that because it’s rude. I would not want my child at a party where they weren’t welcome.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 21/05/2025 17:54

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 17:51

Good idea, I will think of something special for him. I haven't told him about the rescinded invite as I have no good way of explaining it.

I shouldn't have to though. This is the first time I have ever come across an uninvite for either myself or my children.

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I’d tell him quickly before he mentions it at school and birthday kid says ‘you’re not invited’ and embarrasses him.

Very rude on other parents part! Totally unnecessary too

Original poster
Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 17:54

thetrumanshow · 21/05/2025 17:48

It's unpleasant, but it was a mistake. You telling her that she was rude is worst, careful she doesn't warn people about you reacting so much.

OP, if it's really one of these parties when a few more or less make no difference, then there's a reason why your child was not invited, do you really want to dig that one?

Maybe she told the birthday child "xyz just replied, he's coming" and said child got really upset? Who knows.

The weird thing is, this is impossible given the timing of my reply, and her rescinding the invite.

OP posts:
Raizin · 21/05/2025 17:53

BeSpryMoose · 21/05/2025 16:36

I'd be telling at least one of the other parents what has happened, as a warning, it could be their child excluded next time.

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Why? All they're gonna do is run back and tell the other parent and then they'll slag you off together!!

Original poster
Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 17:52

Onedayiwillsomething · 21/05/2025 17:49

Just tell your child that you have double booked with laser quest/trampolining/zoo and so he can’t go. You’ve got the measure of this woman now, don’t get involved with her again.

Absolutely, I have blocked her. I had thought we were friendly before but I don't want anything to do with her now.

Before blocking her I did explain how rude it was to uninvite.

OP posts:
CarterBeatsTheDevil · 21/05/2025 17:52

GreenClock · 21/05/2025 16:38

In the days before WhatsApp I addressed a paper invitation to Kate instead of Cate (my son was friends with the latter but barely knew the former and I didn’t know that there were two children with the same name spelled differently). When I realised the mistake I just invited Cate asap and explained to her dad why the invitation was a bit late. No way would I have uninvited the other child!

I did the same a couple of years ago and as you say just invited both.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

They were invited to the party? It’s in the OP!

Original poster
Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 17:51

Lifeofryan · 21/05/2025 17:33

Very rude indeed. I hope they get their come uppance. I would book something else for your little one for that day and tell him that mummy's sorry, she forgot that she had already booked xyz on that day and that he couldn't go to hid classmates party. I wouldn't tell him that he is no longer invited . I am so sorry this has happened to your little one OP.

Edited

Good idea, I will think of something special for him. I haven't told him about the rescinded invite as I have no good way of explaining it.

I shouldn't have to though. This is the first time I have ever come across an uninvite for either myself or my children.

OP posts:
Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:50

This reply has been deleted

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thetrumanshow · 21/05/2025 17:50

FuckityFux · 21/05/2025 17:20

N’ah! An adult who makes a mistake needs to take some bloody responsibility to put it right instead of brushing it under the carpet.

OP had replied to accept on the WhatsApp before some of the others replied so if it’s a question of numbers, the party mum should have rescinded one of the late responders invites instead.

At a minimum she should have apologised profusely and explained what went wrong.

Uninviting a 7yr old child to a birthday party without a decent explanation as if it’s no big deal is crap parenting 101 and she deserves to be called out on her shitty behaviour.

Edited
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maybe the crap parenting was inventing a child they really did not want to see by mistake, and her having to backtrack quickly?