AIBU to except you to be reasonable if your child’s name could be pronounced different ways

OP I am a GP and I feel your pain! I do generally “have a stab” at most names (I don’t think this is disrespectful in our healthcare settings where we call people in by name). I’m well travelled and know quite a few languages etc. so can usually manage pretty well (often non-British patients are super impressed I have said it correctly especially the people with more unusual Irish names 🤣 - I’m N Irish but not living in N I).

But there is always that one person who is disproportionately aggrieved that you haven’t pronounced their name in a super uncommon way, like you were supposed to know! Like Cheryl being “Cher-elle” as someone mentioned above. For those people I do make a note of it in their records so it pops up when you open their health record before calling them in with “name pronounced as “x” (phonetics)”

I don’t blame you, that’s a pain. I was, inexplicably, processed as Robert when I was at sixth form college (nothing like my name, which is a very common girl’s name akin to Anna, Elizabeth, Sarah etc). Surname correct, but first name Robert. Took an age to get sorted, by which point I’d started answering to it as half my teachers seemed to just read Robert on the register every time, despite the fact that I was plainly not Robert.

It stuck, and Bert is still my nickname 😳

I'm not British so my name is foreign, but it's not very rare and its pronunciation is very intuitive - 99.9% of British people I've interacted with for the first time have got it right. Also it's not a name that can have multiple pronunciations. The only people who have got it so horribly wrong to the point where I could have missed my appointment despite being sat at the waiting area, have been healthcare workers in the GP surgery I was previously registered. They clearly couldn't be arsed. You couldn't have got it so wrong if you tried - it felt almost performative.

I wasn't offended, just surprised, and a bit annoyed I could have missed my appointment!

ETA: Imagine along the lines of "Amanda" pronounced as "Er-maaah-ndeeeeeh-r"

Like... Come on 🤣

I have a Sophia and she often gets Sofia - that doesn't bother me but I do get riled when she is called Sophie. I filled in some forms for a new school and they processed her as Sophie. That could have real implications, ie Sophie being on exam certificates.....not impressed.

I once asked a Claire (possible Clare) how she spelled her name.
’With a C’ she said, looking at me like I was a bit daft.

I was in America and saw a name badge or something on someone called Siobhan. Obviously perfectly familiar to British and Irish people. She almost fainted when I addressed her correctly. I felt sorry for her.

You're taking my post way too literally. You said 'Am I being unreasonable to say that I am being discriminated against by people who complain when I get their name wrong?'

I was referring to you 'claiming' that you were being discriminated against not suggesting that you would make some sort of legal claim.

This made me

Yep he must definitely have had a yoo-nique name!

My uni does something very similar - but they ask the students themselves, which is far safer. I've come across quite a few people with foreign names whose families have long ago anglicised the pronunciation.

Who mentioned a claim for discrimination? Your leap to judge is very strange.

My name can be pronounced multiple ways, I really don’t care. The only time I’ve been insistent about it being correct was at my wedding.

Irish name spelling are continually the butt of jokes on social media. It does get a bit tedious after a while even for me as a non Irish person living in Ireland. If you are Irish I would image you get fed up with it quick enough.

How is somebody complaining discriminating against you? Anyway, surely the conversation would go:

Person: 'Actually my name is correctpronunciation'

You: 'I struggle to remember certain pronunciations I'm sorry but I'll try my best'

Person: ''No worries'

Then person with unusual name may consider adding pronunciation to their email sign off and/or reminding other person when they see them.

Meanwhile person with memory issues may consider writing down the pronunciation.

Not everything has to be a big dramatic battle and race to win a claim of discrimination.

None of us have got English names and I don't mind if people get it wrong even repeatedly. What i find annoying is when people say they are not even going to try pronouncing it correctly. (One guy, a builder, before even hearing our names: " don't bother telling me your names as I won't be able to pronounce them anyway...).

I remember when I was at uni before the graduation ceremony the head of my department, who was also the dean or something, would ask his PA to ask international students how to pronounce the names of students graduating that year to make sure he got it right when he had to call out their names at the graduation ceremony. She took a long time over it carefully learning and then noting down phonetically how each name was pronounced. I thought it was really nice that they put so much time and effort into it.

I’ve been caught out with this as well in my workplace - Mia (m-ee-a vs m-eye-a) and Nevaeh (Nev-ay-a vs Nev-eye-a) spring to mind. Also managed to annoy Cheryl who likes to be called Cher-elle and Evelyn who is known as Evil-lin…..

I just make a little note in their chart with the preferred phonetic pronunciation, so I get it right next time.

I have a condition that makes it difficult for me to remember name pronunciation. Am I being unreasonable to say that I am being discriminated against by people who complain when I get their name wrong?

My son has an unusual spelling to his name. Doesn't bother either of us if someone mispronounces it.

It's when people lengthen his name, for example birth certificate says Sammy but people try to call him Samuel

It is a ridiculous thing to get upset about and therefore there is no need to do this. I’m actually usually called in by forename and surname anyway

The ridiculous names parents come up with these days I'm amazed anyone pronounces them properly. It's like they invented them after falling drunkenly into a pile of Scrabble letters.

I named my DS Max for the same reasons and have been asked 'one x or two?'. A big thanks to the parents who butcher even the simplest of names so they're not simple anymore!

Not many ways to pronounce Miley but it's consistently Millie.....that's annoying!

YANBU but you your family should remember!

Why not use the surname when you call a patient in?

"Smith, first name beginning with K'

It's more anonymous, and less likely to inadvertently offend.

YANBU and I have one DC named in such a way. Don't give it a second thought.

If you're bothered, just say "oh I have a niece/nephew with the same name, it's pronounced [the way you said it]" and then segue immediately into your professional stuff.