AIBU to except you to be reasonable if your child’s name could be pronounced different ways

See, I like it when people say stuff like that. I really like having an unusual name. It's kind of an ice breaker, people often ask about it's origin.

Did anyone here used to watch the Swedish/Danish show The Bridge? The lead characters name was Saga and she was from Sweden. She pronounced her name “Sa-ga” as did her Swedish colleagues. But her Danish colleagues called her “Say-ga”
It was just accepted that was how they said it. It was never mentioned or acknowledged that it was being said differently. It just…. was. For the entire show. I’m assuming it’s because that’s how the Danish say that name.

I’m Jill, but my mil often writes Gill, in birthday cards, etc.
I’m just grateful for the birthday card, so, I’d never make things awkward by correcting her.

My surname is quite unusual, but easy to say. Written down, that’s how you say it.

The variations i get called always make me chuckle.
It begins with a J, but has been said with a hard G.
I’m used to it, and crucially, i don’t give a damn how people say it.

In my job I see lots of “aspirational” spellings of perfectly nice names . I often wonder if the parents just can’t spell or if it’s intentional. I feel they are setting their child up for a lifetime of correcting everyone.

Yes good point. I did meet someone called Tuesday and could tell they had been asked every question I had 15 million times.

I have an unusual spelt name for my child, it's a standard name with an ancient celtic spelling.
I fully expect peeople to not pronounce it correctly and for him to have to spell it out for people for the rest of his life.
Which I didn't think through properly, which is on me.
He can change it by depol later in life if he wants😂

@dogaredabomb that's fine. I can't say it's ever happened though and Lucinda would have been a much easier first name than mine.

I think it might be worth bearing in mind, however, that people's names are personal and if they are uncommon, the continual remarks became more than a little tedious.

You seriously expect a HCP to remember how to pronounce the name of every child they’ve seen? Wow.

Oh me too, I'm eternally grateful for my classic solid name and I gave the equivalents to my own kids.

How would you feel if someone said 'oh I love that your name, it's so beautiful!' which I have done to Lucinda, Lalage and Greta.

Is that with or without an E? 😎

I'm so glad i have the most boring name on the planet there's only one way to say it 😊

Me too. For instance, for years, I couldn’t pronounce Keanu Reeves name unless someone had just said it. Same with family friend who’s surname was Pross and I use to say Cross and not realise I had got it wrong. My family used to mock me which hasn’t helped. Unusual names or names from other countries that aren’t yet common here are hellish for me. I can’t remember them even after they’ve been pronounced to me. I can write French and understand it but can’t say it. It’s so stressful.

This. My maiden name and married name were/are uncommon, long and need spelling. Never right the first time. My first name is traditional but equally uncommon (Cressida genre) but based on the spelling should be pronounced correctly.

The pronounciation doesn't bother me. The comments do and it's usually nurses who make them and are, frankly, often rude. "What a funny name". "Where did that come from" "Unusual name, is it Irish?" and when I was a child I recall "Why did your mum call you that?".

Mispronounciation of my surnames has never much bothered me. Mispronounciation of my first name is irritating because there is almost always an imaginary letter inserted. However, it's the unnecessary comments that are unacceptable. I often wonder how they would land if I were not white but largely I think they are based in ignorance.

It is the principle reason our DC were given classic names with no spelling variants. Although to be fair mine has no variants either.

That’s why I called my DD Ann*

As somebody who grew up with my name constantly being shortened/mispronounced/misspelled I wanted a name to make her life easier.

Tricky when you are calling them in for their appointment. Yelling out to the waiting room ‘How should I say K-I -A?’ Might be a bit insensitive and embarrassing for the patient.

I interview a lot of people and always ask if I've pronounced names correctly, it's common courtesy.
My DD is called Tabitha and a teacher kept calling her Ta-bee-tha and she hated it, kept telling him, but he kept getting it wrong ... thankfully that was a one off

My name is rarely mispronounced but commonly misspelled. It's a common 1960s name with 2 different spellings, like Jane/Jayne. Imagine I'm Jayne.

I do often say 'that's Jayne with a y' but don't get upset or angry if people spell it Jane, though prefer it if people would ask the spelling. It only really bugs me if people I've known a long time spell it Jane. I've got a close friend I've known about 40 years who often addresses me as Jane on text. I'm a HCP too (nurse) and worked alongside a consultant for 10+years who kept calling me Jane in emails, even if she was responding to an email from me ending Regards, Jayne.

TurquoiseDress · Yesterday 22:58

Yep he must definitely have had a yoo-nique name!

Tsk! Everyone knows its Eweneak, FFS!

Anyway...

Virtually nobody pronounces my (Irish) first name correctly and it doesn't help that the same spelling in Scotland has a slightly different pronunciation. I'm 55 and have long since resigned myself to answering to entirely different names, if I think they're referring to me.

I usually correct people twice, then throw in the towel.

Reasonable for them to correct you (even with a serious face/tone, as those can be subjective). Unreasonable if they're blaming you, scolding you, or going on a rant.

YANBU.

My ex MIL was/is vile. Her surname was often misread, this Godman / Goodman. If she was at appointment and they called out the wrong surname she would sit there ignoring them on purpose with a stony face, or if she was the only one in the room, she would like around instead of asking if they were looking for her. She relished an opportunity to give someone a bollocking for “not being able to read”. As you can imagine, it just irritated the HCP and wasted time.

I have one of these names and I live in England

I don't give a tinker's toss if a HCP can't pronounce it-why should they be able to do so, They make a fist at it and that's good enough.

Either my parents, who settled in England, should have given me an English name or, if I don't like the way that English people pronounce it-then I should go and live in Ireland where every fucker can pronounce it.

If you have a non-English name in England, well that's your tough shit just as it would be if you had a non African name in Africa.

Same for made up names like Gorgonzolabrieched/ Arsebollix or names with a made up pronunciation-if you are called Cheryl and want to pronounce it Cherellea-then bugger off to the land of loons where your parents presumably lived. OR put up with it OR change the spelling to reflect your "unique" pronunciation.

You're the one out of step and the world shouldn't have to fall in with you because you might have hurty feelings-call yourself Jane and all your hurty feelings will disappear.

My name is spelled the English way, which is obviously most common given I live in England, hence DM choosing that spelling. However it drives me mad, as it's not an English name, and should be spelled "properly". My point being that sometimes parents can't do right for doing wrong when choosing names. It's both pointless and rude to be stroppy over mispronunciations/misspellings unless as PP have said, they know you/see you fairly regularly and continue to get it wrong.

My Head of Department used to do this too. I'd have to source the list for him, but he learned it and it was his idea.