Gender ideology is toxic and creates divisions

We're talking about a person and their child. The one they gave birth to, and love.

Alternatively, as a PP considered, we could be talking about someone walking around, wanting to be addressed as Elvis.

Thank you

Yes, you can think you're Elvis (or the Akond of Swat, or Queen of Sheba). You can believe you're cool, or that what you say makes sense.

What you can't do is be Elvis, or the Akond or Queen. Or anything else other than who and what you are. Believe what you like - it won't make it true.

If wishes were horses ... But they're not.

I am so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you.

The unfiltered, hive-minded rage on both "sides" of this mess has gotten totally out of hand. Families should not be torn apart.

I hope your child finds a way back to you.

Of course it’s coerced. Female victims of rape have been told to refer to their male attackers using “their preferred pronouns” in court. That’s perjury, and yet that’s happened as a court order. Forcing a rape victim to deny the evidence of their own eyes.

Thats what you’re supporting. Which is of course up to you, you can support whatever evil you choose.

Not sure why you feel so personally offended by my point of view that you feel the need to resort to insults.

I also never advocated just blindly accepting anything one’s child tells them they are. I advocate a supportive approach to exploring together the root of the feelings, the reason for them, the legitimacy of them and the appropriate (both age appropriate and proportionate) response.

I think that invalidating their beliefs and their current perception of their identity just pushes them away, means they won’t listen even when you’re telling them valuable and helpful things and changes the narrative to arguing over pronouns and names rather than a collaborative approach to reaching the best outcome for the mental health, welfare and happiness of the child at the centre of all this!

Supporting someone does not necessarily mean agreeing with them

It's really scary, isn't it, that this conversation has become so charged.

He can think that, sure.

But aren't under any obligation to affirm he's right

A bit like wicked, cool, the dogs bollocks. Contronyms exist.

It's not coerced. It's just speech you disagree with. Dyke, queer, homo have been reclaimed in order to defuse the power. That was much more successful than fighting back against the terms.

If anyone wants to think they're Elvis, they can. Regardless of what you think of them. None of us get to dictate other people's self belief. It's called autonomy. We all have it.

I don't think you are wrong, but my child has cut out everyone - everyone - in his life. The only real disagreement we have ever had is around gender ideaology. We never even argued, I just explained my views. So be careful.

Youngsters really do see any questioning as akin to racism and as toxic. If I could take everything back and hold my tounge, I would.

How old is this child?

Edit - The one called Grin. Not me.

If you look at the National Records list, you could easily make a cogent argument that there are plenty of adults who shouldn't be naming children either.

No, I'm suggesting you are a child because adults don't think children should choose people's names.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous. They can't change their name by deed poll until they are an adult. I imagine the op will change the way they deal with this if their child is still doing this as an adult.

For now, this TEENAGER is experimenting with their identity as teenagers often do . Their parents job is not to unconditionally support and affirm every experiment . It is to give them a loving space to experiment without necessarily affirming everything they try and actively discouraging things that the parent thinks are harmful.
Not every experiment a teenager tries is good for them and parents are not obliged to say they are

That's the thing though - Reddit mods are under no obligation to permit what you consider "free expression".

Every reddit sub I've been on has it's list of house "rules" down the right hand side. Fail to follow them, there are inevitably consequences, often permanent consequences.

You are suggesting I am a child because I disagree with you?

If a parent called their child Grin they'd be laughed out of town.
Or are you ok with babies being called Spider Man because the preschooler named him?

Children aren't sensible enough to name themselves or other family members. Children aren't sensible enough to do a lot of things. Though maybe you disagree because you are a child and want to be allowed to name your new sibling?

Gender ideology is utterly toxic and destructive. It needs to be done away with.

"We all decide who we are ..." Really?

"There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis."

You think he's Elvis? No you don't. Not really.

(People peddle such absurd nonsense about identity and such these days.)

Why? There are children called things like Olive and Miles.

Grin is pretty inoffensive IMO.

I would be ok with my teens choosing a nickname from their own name, middle name etc. But Jolyon Maugham's daughter has called herself Grin. That's just ridiculous.

I agree with you about everything except the name - it’s the same as her wanting a particular nickname used instead of her full name so I don’t think there’s any harm in that. I wouldn’t allow changing it legally or anything, just use it for now.
I hope your daughter comes to accept herself for who she is as she grows up.

Is that the only message you sent?

Freedom of speech is not about 3 day bans from Reddit, which is a privately owned site. If that were the case, people would be suing them, Mumsnet, Twitter, etc, daily.