To dislike when DH says 'Mummy won't allow Daddy to have those'

Ooh I’ve got some brioche in the cupboard. Might go and have one now! misses point of thread

I would buy 30 packs and leave them on the side. If he said why have you bo9ught so many - I would say because every time I ask you if you want any you say no but then you eat them and there's not enough for our child and it has really begun to piss me right off especially as you never do the shopping.

and then I would eat 29 of the packs myself.

This is not a complete non issue, it's a very serious issue @pontipinemum.

Not the brioche, that's unimportant, but the fact your DH is being passive aggressive and involving your toddler! He is creating an unhealthy, unequal, damaging dynamic where you are the villian.

YADNBU. His behaviour is not annoying, it's alarming and needs to stop now.

So don't blame me for not getting you a freaking brioche that you said you didn't want! And do not tell my child I won't allow it!!!!!

Have you actually said this to him?

Would a man be advised on here to say “Daddy is trying to stop greedy Mummy from eating your treats”? I very much doubt it.

Did you really need to quote the whole OP to write that?! More irritating than the OPs husband.

OP why would you put them in the freezer? They have a best before date of 300 years.

This. Grown-up and very clear to your child.

And try explaining to him that triangulating his child is actively harmful to the child. It’s not about you, it’s about him being a shit parent in that moment.

🤣🤣
Id just say ‘ yep, coz I’m the boss!’
Does wonders for discipline

All this Daddy Mummy passive aggressive talking to each other through the child is not the way, for so many reasons. Instead of buying one pack, think laterally and buy loads, so then the "brioche" issue is removed. You have the power to not get stuck here.

Next time he says Mummy won't let me, you address him, directly, not through your child and say

Dave, the cupboards are full of them, you both love them, so I bought loads then we wouldn't run out, go nuts, help yourself.

and carry on with your day.

Reply, 'Daddy won't let Mummy buy two packs because Daddy doesn't want to eat too many, but Daddy knows he can have as many as he wants and Mummy won't mind.'

If get a spare packs and make a point t of offering daddy one at every bloody meal!

Yes, you are to be annoyed because he is lying to your child. I know that sounds harsh, but it is what he is doing. As you described, he has said he is trying to limit his intake, and you've given him options to avoid that by letting you know to buy more.

I do not typically advise parents to correct the other parent in front of a child as this can undermine a parent's authority, and serve as fuel for partner problems, but in this case you have repeatedly asked him not to do this. So, the next time he does this, you are to respond with, "Daddy is wrong. He can have as many as he wants. I've never told him he cannot. He just has to tell me how many he wants before I buy them at the store."

Play him at his own game. "Don't be silly Daddy! Of course you can have one if you want one! You told me not to buy you one, remember?"

I saw it more as showing daddy up to being a greedy one who wants to eat the child’s food and Mummy just stopping him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just semantic shift.

I'm with team passive aggressive, I'd buy 10 packs too and put one in every cupboard. I hate running out of really necessary items and having to make mad dashes to the shop.

The brioche rolls are unimportant in the scheme of things. He eats them or he doesn't. As long as he leaves DC their one a day. The real issue imo is the habit of speaking to each other through your child. It's passive aggressive and will be very uncomfortable for your child when he's old enough to understand as it makes him an unwilling participant in your bickering. If I were you I'd be putting a stop to this before it becomes a habit, and next time tell him to speak to you directly.

Can't you just say "I asked you if you wanted me to order you brioche, if you let me know next time then I can order you some. I only don't want you eating ds' treats, because it isn't fair on him."

What a dick!

I want to point out also, seeing as others seem to have missed it, that your DH is a functioning adult and so could go to the shop and buy brioche for himself if he really wanted to. But he sees you as his mother, who buys his food and gives him permission around it. YUCK!

I'd buy 20 and put them all over the kitchen.

Then I'd never buy him a single other piece of food ever again.

Even if we stayed together, I would stick to this to my dying day.

I can just hide a DS pack.

Don't do this. You should not have to be hiding food in your own house - that is just pandering to DH's lack of self control. It is stooping to play his silly games.

Just buy loads and loads. It is not up to you to hide them or stop DH eating them. He can eat them or not, that is his choice.

In regards to the Brioche just buy loads and stick into the press.

In regards to your man child you need him to 1.grow up and 2. Start taking some of the tasks off your plate. I understand that farming is consuming but do not let him get out of doing his own share.

OK I will buy two. I've bought 2 in the past and still ended up with the same problem no brioche towards the end of the week.

Then buy six packs, or ten packs. Buy more and more packs until there IS some left at the end of the week.

The alternative is accepting that he has made you responsible for monitoring his food intake, PLUS you have him making you out to be the "fun police" - setting up a dynamic of him and DC on one side and you on the other.
NO. Just no. Don't take on that role.

O/t but why is everyone leaning these days?

suddenly noticing on so many threads people “leaning into” things.

Where on earth has it come from?