Grandparents favouring other grandchildren

This is usually something that comes down the generations, starting with the grandparent having a closer relationship with one of their own DC than the other. Often (not always, but often enough for it to be a pattern) its their adult daughter, with relationships with adult sons being more distant. This inevitably leads to them having a closer more involved relationship with that DCs own children. I think its very hard to resolve, as it takes effort on the part of the GP to consciously equalise the relationship with the less close children, and many don't recognise the issue, or refuse to accept it is one. I honestly think all you can do is try to resign yourself and lower your expectations, accepting the relationship for what it is. Hopefully your DC have other people in their lives who make them a priority.

My MIL does this. She could tell you every little detail about her other grandkids but doesn't know the first thing about my DC. I leave it all up to DH now and don't take them to see her.

Is there an obvious reason why?

Easier travel? Or parking? More space to stay? Pets? Similar food tastes?

Can you find anything that your older two have in common or can share with their gran? O meet her out somewhere?

My own mother wouldn't come a 5 minute drive or clean her house so she could see my son. Some grandparents are just lazy , they are usually people who were also shit parents.

My grandmother was like this when we were young. Favoured our younger cousins over us in every single way. I was aware of it from about the age of 8 as it ramped up after our gf died.

From the age of 18 onwards, I had no real relationship with the woman. When she was old and frail, I did none of the running around. I felt nothing but relief when she passed. You reap what you sow.

@RoseHikeraccept the situation for what it is. Keep your dc away from it as much as possible. Drop the rope.

You will have to learn not to care, tacking it never ends well.
Your DC will vote with their feet as they get older

My MIL did this. Now she's in a care home and we visit her very rarely and don't feel any guilt about it. Her precious favourites can do all the visiting for all I care.

Take the other grandchildren out of the equation. Do your children see as much of their grandparents as you would like? If not, can you help things along by going to visit them?

My paternal grandparents always favoured by cousins in a similar way. If we visited we not allowed to play with the piles of toys etc that they had for cousins, or to have any of the nice drinks/biscuits etc that they kept in for cousins. We were expected to sit quietly and were ushered out if cousins happened to visit at the same time. At birthdays/Xmas etc cousins were lavished with expensive presents and we were lucky if we got a book or a pound in a card. They would never visit us unless my aunt and cousins were also invited as apparently that would no be fair on them. I remember noticing it even as a small child (especially when I was told off for touching cousins toys that they told me were special presents from them to her) and not understanding why. I wish my parents had called them out on it openly and made it clear that it was not my fault and not OK. I can see why my Dad didn't want to cut off his family but I think it would have been better for us if he had told them that we wouldn't be seeing them if they treated us a second class. I firmly believe that it is important for children to see that it's perfectly acceptable to insist on being treated well, even by family. As an adult, I chose to have no relationship with these grandparents and have no regrets about that.

Ils, sil and us lived within 3 streets of each other.. Ils seriously favoured sil's dc... Tried to 'have it out' with ils. We were allocated 2 hour slots per week where sil wouldn't be there...
She would flounce out as we went in. My dc never had more than a biscuit and drink there.. Sil's had holidays and a static caravan bought. I learned not to care. Left all birthday /gift giving to dh... Never made much effort after that 'chat' tbh.

Less you have to share your dc imo. It really is ils loss.

Your dc don't need uninterested people in their lives...