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AIBU?

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He gave me the ick in Lake Garda

636 replies

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 09:11

First holiday together, been dating for just under a year. We went to Garda and before hand we’d discussed the way we wanted the holiday to work.

We arrived at hotel at 3pm. He threw himself onto the bed saying “I’m knackered”. (I’ve noticed he says this a lot). I made a coffee, did some unpacking, caught up with my phone and sat on balcony for a bit. At around 5pm I said “you ready to go out?” And he laughed and said “no! We’ve only just got here!” I said “I just mean a walk?” (the lake was literally across the road from hotel). He said “oh no, can’t be arsed with that tonight, I just want food and bed”. It was 5pm!! So I said “ok, well I’m off for a walk”. He was annoyed that I was going out anyway and started sulking. I went for a walk by myself, returned at 6:30ish. He was irritable and asked where I’d been as he was starving. I said “there’s a shop just down the road.” He said “I’m on holiday, I don’t want to be doing shopping!” 🙄 we went to hotel restaurant.

Next day I woke up at 6am (always an early riser, can’t help it). I made a coffee then went out for a walk. Came back at 8amish. He’s still asleep. I got a shower, made another coffee. 10amish I woke him up and asked if he wanted a coffee. He said he did. I made him one - he fell back asleep and let it go cold. 11am - woke him to again, he asked for another coffee. I made him one - he fell asleep again. I woke him back up at 11:30 and said I wanted to head out, asked if he was coming. He asked for another coffee - I said he could make himself one as I’d made him two already that had been wasted.,he started whinging so I said “it’s almost lunch time, I’m bored and I’m going out, are you coming?” He said he just wanted to relax around the hotel today 🙄 he said he wanted to use the pool. Fine. I went out and hired a bike, spent all afternoon visiting the little towns. Got back at 5pm - he’s still in bed playing on his phone. I said “did you use the pool?” So he said “on my own? No! I was waiting for you to come back!”.

So - after this day I thought maybe a discussing was needed about tomorrow’s plans. Idea was we would get a bus to Verona. He said he was still happy to do this. Next day arrived - same scenario. Numerous cups of coffee gone cold, me sat around bored, getting on for lunch time he’s still asleep. I snapped in the end and said “are you actually going to do anything on this holiday?? I’m going to Verona at 12pm. Remember we’d said we’d set off at 10am?? Half day wasted already”. He reluctantly got up, saying it’s meant to be a holiday to relax etc etc

We got to Verona at 2pm. As soon as we got there he was nattering about food saying he’d not eaten all day 🙄 he had no interest in seeing any sights, just wanted to sit and eat.

We managed to see the museum and that was it.

The whole holiday was like this. It’s given me the ick. Lazyness. AIBU here??

OP posts:
EdithBond · 21/05/2025 18:57

ClareBlue · 21/05/2025 18:37

He ate McDonald's in Verona when you were there as a couple. This has left me lost for words. There's a 100 romantic places serving fantastic food in Verona. If you move off the squares it's not even that expensive for one of life's great experiences. Wow.

I agree. IMHO eating McDonalds anywhere is a nasty experience.

But in Italy, it’s sacrilege. There’s wonderful food in the cheapest of places.

Mozzarellaballs · 21/05/2025 18:50

Could have just booked a Travel Lodge if he wanted to stay in a hotel all day and be lazy. Does he smoke weed? Sounds like it

Fruitbat99 · 21/05/2025 18:48

I dont understand how you didn't know he likes a lay in? Surely you've spent a weekend with him?

TakeMe2Insanity · 21/05/2025 18:47

I’d look at this way, the holiday’s money is well spent. Now you know what he is really like. As long as you move on all is good.

NewShoesForSpring · 21/05/2025 18:47

Illegally18 · 21/05/2025 18:46

I agree. It is a difference in energy levels and ideas about what relaxing is. That said, this needs to be before discussed before you go on holiday. For me personally , a holiday is first and foremost relaxing, lounging around and recuperating (maybe a week or so), and then, moving around and doing things.

What do you do in the evenings?

HerNeighbourTotoro · 21/05/2025 18:46

localnotail · 21/05/2025 18:44

You sound too bouncy and overly active (up at 6am on a holiday?!) and he sounds old and boring - why is he sleeping so much?!

I think the main issue is you are too different and have different idea of what holiday is about. But I would prefer you to him, can't imagine being with someone who behaves like he is 80 years old (when I assume he isn't). My holiday would be a balance - lies in plus trips out, lazy afternoons plus sight seeing. Good job I travel with my DC only - who are my perfect travel companions!

When we holiday we always get up early and you would not believe how many beautiful sites we saw because all the lazy tourists were still in bed. I hate hitting beautiful spots when they are so overcrowded you need elbowgrease to make your way and see anything.

EdithBond · 21/05/2025 18:46

spoonbillstretford · 21/05/2025 18:36

But great thread title 😂

Indeed.

Especially as it fits with Mattinata.

🎵 L'Aurora, di bianco vestita... 🎵

🎵 He gave me the ick in Lake Garda...🎵

🤣

Haha! Yes, it does work!

No chance of him seeing the dawn. That’s for sure.

Illegally18 · 21/05/2025 18:46

Agix · 21/05/2025 09:17

That's not laziness. It's a difference on energy levels and different ideas about what relaxing is.

You would sound really hard work to a lot of people who also like staying in, sleeping late, and lounging on their holiday.

I'm an early riser too, and I can't just sit around waiting/nothing to really do. But it's not laziness just because someone is different to me, and it's not fair for me to drag them about on their holiday.

My father is on the other end of the scale, and is all go go go on holiday... Does. Not. Stop. And has to drag everyone with him. It's hell, even if I am more on that side of things... He's extreme. He thinks like you, that everyone has to match his energy levels and enthusiasm else they are "wrong". Don't go on holiday with him anymore. It's an unpleasant experience.

You probably gave each other the ick on that holiday.

I agree. It is a difference in energy levels and ideas about what relaxing is. That said, this needs to be before discussed before you go on holiday. For me personally , a holiday is first and foremost relaxing, lounging around and recuperating (maybe a week or so), and then, moving around and doing things.

SmallSoupcon · 21/05/2025 18:45

Going on holiday together is a true test of a relationship. It will either make or break you. At least you've learned you're not the right fit for each other and don't need to waste any more time.

I'm glad you got out and we're able to see something of the area while you were there. Like you, I don't see the point of going away to a fabulous location only to stay in a hotel room and eat the same food you do at home.

HerNeighbourTotoro · 21/05/2025 18:44

MarioLink · 21/05/2025 10:45

You both would have given me the ick. He is sleeping through a beautiful location but you are calling him obsessed with food for wanting normal meals before the the evening. Most people get up before 10am (and an early riser and late sleeper could compromise on 8 or 9am with the early riser walking or getting a coffee first thing) but they also eat three meals a day and enjoy sampling and savouring lots of the local food on holiday. His inability to go to the pool alone is very strange if he's a grown-up.

Edited

Are you serious?
OP is not forcing him to not eat, he is too f* lazy to get out of bed, sleeps until noon instead of getting up to actually eat, and probably expects food to be served in bed for him as he is too lazy to actually go and get it himself or maybe suggest to eat something at a reasonable time. He didnt seem to show any initiative. If he knows they leave at 10, he can wake up at 9 and have a quick bite, not wake up at 13:00 and then be pissed off he is hungry.

localnotail · 21/05/2025 18:44

You sound too bouncy and overly active (up at 6am on a holiday?!) and he sounds old and boring - why is he sleeping so much?!

I think the main issue is you are too different and have different idea of what holiday is about. But I would prefer you to him, can't imagine being with someone who behaves like he is 80 years old (when I assume he isn't). My holiday would be a balance - lies in plus trips out, lazy afternoons plus sight seeing. Good job I travel with my DC only - who are my perfect travel companions!

iliketheradio · 21/05/2025 18:40

Icanttakethisanymore · 21/05/2025 09:19

I actually think quite a lot of people want to do very little on holiday (although I’m not one of them). It’s very much a compatibility issue. It doesn’t sound like it will work.

There’s relaxing on holiday and then there’s sleeping in your hotel room the whole time.

Normals · 21/05/2025 18:39

Morningsleepin · 21/05/2025 17:43

I'm over 70 and have more zest for life

Ha, I believe you but your username amused me on this thread.

JIMER202 · 21/05/2025 18:38

MadKittenWoman · 21/05/2025 18:23

You are at completely opposite ends of the spectrum. I wouldn't want to be on holiday with either of you. Up at 06:00 on your first day???

My last holiday we were up at 5am daily due to the time difference and being in a routine of being up that early. One day my kids were up at 4am 😆

ClareBlue · 21/05/2025 18:37

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 10:44

Well no, I’m happy to eat lunch if the other person wants lunch but if I’m on my own I don’t bother as I don’t get hungry. I would have been happy to go out for lunch but he couldn’t even be arsed to do that - he’d get up at lunch time, start whinging about food but “couldn’t be arsed” with a sit down lunch - just wanted take-away type stuff like a McDonald’s or subway - obviously these places don’t tend to exist in Garda. He got his McDonald’s fix in Verona though 🙄

He ate McDonald's in Verona when you were there as a couple. This has left me lost for words. There's a 100 romantic places serving fantastic food in Verona. If you move off the squares it's not even that expensive for one of life's great experiences. Wow.

JIMER202 · 21/05/2025 18:36

My kids and I are all early risers (typically up, fed and ready to head out by 8-9am, maybe 10am if being lazy on a weekend). My husband works some
nights and so on a weekend likes to sleep in but is ALWAYS up when we have plans and our last trip he was ready by 7.30 each day!
The laying in bed till 5pm would have me fuming! What a ridiculous waste.

spoonbillstretford · 21/05/2025 18:36

But great thread title 😂

Indeed.

Especially as it fits with Mattinata.

🎵 L'Aurora, di bianco vestita... 🎵

🎵 He gave me the ick in Lake Garda...🎵

🤣

PeapodMcgee · 21/05/2025 18:31

You've dumped him now, surely? He is contemptuous.

Sgreenpy · 21/05/2025 18:28

You sound holiday incompatible.
Go on holiday alone or with friends.

EdithBond · 21/05/2025 18:28

YA definitely NBU

What’s the point in flying all the way to Italy and paying for an hotel by Lake Garda (by no means cheap), when he could’ve booked a break in an hotel where you live if all he wants to do is sleep, hang out in the room and get a McDonalds?

Waking up at 6am on a romantic holiday is a bit much. But then totally understand some people can’t help waking early and you didn’t wake him or expect him to be up at that time.

How come he’s so lacking in energy? Sounds like he may be malnourished if all he eats is junk food. Have you not noticed his sleeping and eating habits previously if you’ve been dating for a year?

Commonsense22 · 21/05/2025 18:25

OP, you sound like my kind of person. Wanting to explore the surroundings and enjoy everything they have to offer.
Your boyfriend has been dumped I hope.

Nominative · 21/05/2025 18:24

So have you binned him, OP?

MadKittenWoman · 21/05/2025 18:23

You are at completely opposite ends of the spectrum. I wouldn't want to be on holiday with either of you. Up at 06:00 on your first day???

AlwaysAnExcuseForEverything · 21/05/2025 18:22

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/05/2025 14:45

You're my mother!

We went away together and I had to explain that I spend my life working, and looking after people. She is retired (from part-time). I only wanted one day lounging around the hotel, reading, napping, lying in a hammock. Yes, I wanted to see the sights. But I also needed to relax, because I never do. I like a mixture.

TBF in Italy, mooching around lovely towns, eating is relaxing. But bus to Verona isn't.

Haha actually I also very much enjoy lounging at the pool or beach with a book (or at least I did pre kids - I have a 2 and 6 year old so no chance of lounging now). I'm also not a morning person and given the choice would not surface much before 8am.

I just have an absolute aversion to being indoors when the weather is nice, so a day spent in a hotel room is abhorrent to me. Don't mind a bit of time reading on the balcony but I'd still feel the need to venture out at some point, at least as far as the pool 😉 I enjoy sightseeing too but I wouldn't be up for hoofing around all day, every day.

OP actually sounds a lot like my parents who are both very fit and active. They get themselves up and out most days on holiday and cover a lot of ground. I feel lazy in comparison and I admire their (and OP's) get up and go)😁

smallstitch · 21/05/2025 18:19

Put him in the bin

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