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AIBU?

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He gave me the ick in Lake Garda

636 replies

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 09:11

First holiday together, been dating for just under a year. We went to Garda and before hand we’d discussed the way we wanted the holiday to work.

We arrived at hotel at 3pm. He threw himself onto the bed saying “I’m knackered”. (I’ve noticed he says this a lot). I made a coffee, did some unpacking, caught up with my phone and sat on balcony for a bit. At around 5pm I said “you ready to go out?” And he laughed and said “no! We’ve only just got here!” I said “I just mean a walk?” (the lake was literally across the road from hotel). He said “oh no, can’t be arsed with that tonight, I just want food and bed”. It was 5pm!! So I said “ok, well I’m off for a walk”. He was annoyed that I was going out anyway and started sulking. I went for a walk by myself, returned at 6:30ish. He was irritable and asked where I’d been as he was starving. I said “there’s a shop just down the road.” He said “I’m on holiday, I don’t want to be doing shopping!” 🙄 we went to hotel restaurant.

Next day I woke up at 6am (always an early riser, can’t help it). I made a coffee then went out for a walk. Came back at 8amish. He’s still asleep. I got a shower, made another coffee. 10amish I woke him up and asked if he wanted a coffee. He said he did. I made him one - he fell back asleep and let it go cold. 11am - woke him to again, he asked for another coffee. I made him one - he fell asleep again. I woke him back up at 11:30 and said I wanted to head out, asked if he was coming. He asked for another coffee - I said he could make himself one as I’d made him two already that had been wasted.,he started whinging so I said “it’s almost lunch time, I’m bored and I’m going out, are you coming?” He said he just wanted to relax around the hotel today 🙄 he said he wanted to use the pool. Fine. I went out and hired a bike, spent all afternoon visiting the little towns. Got back at 5pm - he’s still in bed playing on his phone. I said “did you use the pool?” So he said “on my own? No! I was waiting for you to come back!”.

So - after this day I thought maybe a discussing was needed about tomorrow’s plans. Idea was we would get a bus to Verona. He said he was still happy to do this. Next day arrived - same scenario. Numerous cups of coffee gone cold, me sat around bored, getting on for lunch time he’s still asleep. I snapped in the end and said “are you actually going to do anything on this holiday?? I’m going to Verona at 12pm. Remember we’d said we’d set off at 10am?? Half day wasted already”. He reluctantly got up, saying it’s meant to be a holiday to relax etc etc

We got to Verona at 2pm. As soon as we got there he was nattering about food saying he’d not eaten all day 🙄 he had no interest in seeing any sights, just wanted to sit and eat.

We managed to see the museum and that was it.

The whole holiday was like this. It’s given me the ick. Lazyness. AIBU here??

OP posts:
subliminated · 22/05/2025 10:33

JoshuaClay · 22/05/2025 10:04

This honestly sounds like the first line of a limerick

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda
I just wish he tried harda

JoshuaClay · 22/05/2025 10:05

The thing that gives me the ick most tbh OP is the fact that he wouldn’t go into the swimming pool on his own

JoshuaClay · 22/05/2025 10:04

This honestly sounds like the first line of a limerick

BumpyWinds · 22/05/2025 09:53

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 21:15

Yea it was beautiful, the bits we managed to see. I’ll definitely go back one day

I think you should treat yourself to a solo trip soon to replace the bad memories with good ones!

At least you've found out how incompatible you are before you got any further down the road!

loropianalover · 22/05/2025 09:50

OP I’ve read all your posts and you were repulsed by this man before the holiday 🤣 glad to see you’re ending it this weekend, you are not a match.

easypeasylemonn · 22/05/2025 09:29

You could 100% do better - such an ick!!!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/05/2025 08:58

According to the OP, he is fat, lazy, pampered by his mother, smelly, boring and has no interest in exploring other cultures when on holiday.

Does he have any good points?

Dolphin78 · 22/05/2025 08:50

He wanted a MacDonalds while in Verona??
Goodbye you unimaginative Sloth!

Pigglingbland · 22/05/2025 03:22

How old is he OP he sounds like a child! Def not compatible by the sounds of it. Sounds ignorant & uninterested in the world around him. Big turn off.

comeondover · 22/05/2025 01:03

GinAndJuice99 · 22/05/2025 00:12

If you just read back through 24 pages you'll see there are several limericks on the thread!

oh sorry, didn't realise

GinAndJuice99 · 22/05/2025 00:12

comeondover · 22/05/2025 00:04

OP your post title sounds like the first line of a limerick! <misses point of thread>

If you just read back through 24 pages you'll see there are several limericks on the thread!

Loloblue · 22/05/2025 00:04

He sounds quite basic (the burgers in Italy, really). Let him go. Italy is wonderful! Enjoy Florence on your own.

comeondover · 22/05/2025 00:04

OP your post title sounds like the first line of a limerick! <misses point of thread>

Financialthymes · 22/05/2025 00:02

Urgh. He sounds so dull. Get rid! Reading this has really made me appreciate my DH!

Thisisittheapocalypse · 21/05/2025 23:56

He sounds worse and worse the more you post... I'd definitely be finishing with him as soon as you return if you can't do it now comfortably.

GrandmasCat · 21/05/2025 23:47

KimberleyClark · 21/05/2025 09:23

Being on holiday with someone who needs to be up and about at 6am would drive me nuts.

You can’t be driven nuts by another person who is minding her own business and letting you to sleep half of the day.

PullTheBricksDown · 21/05/2025 23:46

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 20:33

Yeah the weekly haircuts annoy me too but I thought I was being unreasonable about that! Good to see it irritates others too!

im finishing it this weekend

Why even wait that long? The full account of your holiday was terrible. Plus the haircut every week is weird. And the lying stinking your bed up. How have you been able to want to sleep with him?

End it tomorrow. Tell him you couldn't book a holiday you'd both like because McDonald's and Pizza Hut aren't doing rooms yet. And you've decided you're really not suited at all.

NPET · 21/05/2025 23:37

Well APART from getting up at 6am you're perfect!

Thisshirtisonfire · 21/05/2025 23:34

You are wildly incompatible as a couple.
Don't be tempted to try and change him or convince him that you are right and he is wrong.. because this is his character and it's the opposite to yours. There's literally no point.

80smonster · 21/05/2025 23:27

OP… Hope the dumping goes well. You’ve literally nothing to lose.

DBD1975 · 21/05/2025 23:26

mixedcereal · 21/05/2025 09:19

You’re incompatible

This totally, I was going to post exactly the same comment. Nothing to be discussed, the answer is obvious.

IchBinPapst · 21/05/2025 23:24

I have to say, I’ve been smiling all day as ‘He Gave Me the Ick In Lake Garda’ is the best MN thread title I’ve ever seen.

skinnyoptionsonly · 21/05/2025 22:57

Crikey your update are horrifying - glad to hear you are ending it.

I hope you find someone more compatible, who rocks your world

Pistachiocake · 21/05/2025 22:56

It's not necessarily wrong to want different things, particularly if one of you has been really busy/is tired/finds flying stressful. If he's always tired, could he have an underlying health issue, either physical or mental? I do know several people who have had a 'permanently tired feeling'-one was a thyroid issue, one a vitamin deficiency and one something else the GP could help with, so if this is a regular thing as you say, does he want to make an appointment? If you're otherwise happy, maybe just talk about it? Most people want something between a flyandflop and an extreme adventure holiday, though there's nothing wrong with either. Is he willing to compromise ? Are you happy with whatever compromise he suggests? If not, are you ok about taking separate holidays at times, or do you both feel you're incompatible?

EdithBond · 21/05/2025 22:48

Nothing wrong with a weekly haircut. And he can clearly get out of bed for that.

Agree you’re wise to end it. You don’t sound compatible. Plus, he’s unreliable. He suggests, discusses and agrees to things, then rolls back on them and/or moans. And sulks when you accept he doesn’t want to do much and instead do your own thing. Flaky, charmless, selfish, unadventurous, lacking in enthusiasm or energy. Apparently, few redeeming features, unless you’re doing him a disservice.

What was the initial attraction? Don’t sell yourself short.

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