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AIBU?

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He gave me the ick in Lake Garda

636 replies

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 09:11

First holiday together, been dating for just under a year. We went to Garda and before hand we’d discussed the way we wanted the holiday to work.

We arrived at hotel at 3pm. He threw himself onto the bed saying “I’m knackered”. (I’ve noticed he says this a lot). I made a coffee, did some unpacking, caught up with my phone and sat on balcony for a bit. At around 5pm I said “you ready to go out?” And he laughed and said “no! We’ve only just got here!” I said “I just mean a walk?” (the lake was literally across the road from hotel). He said “oh no, can’t be arsed with that tonight, I just want food and bed”. It was 5pm!! So I said “ok, well I’m off for a walk”. He was annoyed that I was going out anyway and started sulking. I went for a walk by myself, returned at 6:30ish. He was irritable and asked where I’d been as he was starving. I said “there’s a shop just down the road.” He said “I’m on holiday, I don’t want to be doing shopping!” 🙄 we went to hotel restaurant.

Next day I woke up at 6am (always an early riser, can’t help it). I made a coffee then went out for a walk. Came back at 8amish. He’s still asleep. I got a shower, made another coffee. 10amish I woke him up and asked if he wanted a coffee. He said he did. I made him one - he fell back asleep and let it go cold. 11am - woke him to again, he asked for another coffee. I made him one - he fell asleep again. I woke him back up at 11:30 and said I wanted to head out, asked if he was coming. He asked for another coffee - I said he could make himself one as I’d made him two already that had been wasted.,he started whinging so I said “it’s almost lunch time, I’m bored and I’m going out, are you coming?” He said he just wanted to relax around the hotel today 🙄 he said he wanted to use the pool. Fine. I went out and hired a bike, spent all afternoon visiting the little towns. Got back at 5pm - he’s still in bed playing on his phone. I said “did you use the pool?” So he said “on my own? No! I was waiting for you to come back!”.

So - after this day I thought maybe a discussing was needed about tomorrow’s plans. Idea was we would get a bus to Verona. He said he was still happy to do this. Next day arrived - same scenario. Numerous cups of coffee gone cold, me sat around bored, getting on for lunch time he’s still asleep. I snapped in the end and said “are you actually going to do anything on this holiday?? I’m going to Verona at 12pm. Remember we’d said we’d set off at 10am?? Half day wasted already”. He reluctantly got up, saying it’s meant to be a holiday to relax etc etc

We got to Verona at 2pm. As soon as we got there he was nattering about food saying he’d not eaten all day 🙄 he had no interest in seeing any sights, just wanted to sit and eat.

We managed to see the museum and that was it.

The whole holiday was like this. It’s given me the ick. Lazyness. AIBU here??

OP posts:
LoafofSellotape · 21/05/2025 12:25

I can't believe his behavior is a surprise if you've been together a year, surely there have been some hints.

I wouldn't like to holiday with either of you tbh.

ballroomblue · 21/05/2025 12:25

He sounds like a 19 year old gaming addict.

TheAmusedQuail · 21/05/2025 12:24

I have an exhausting job and on holiday I want to spend 80% of my time lazing around. Not in bed, out by the pool, or on a beach (or lakeside, based on your location). I'd like a drink, a snack and a book. I don't even want a lot of conversation.

You have very different ideas of holidays. Whose idea was it to go to Lake Garda? Did you discuss that it was going to be an active, sight seeing holiday?

My ex was like you. I stopped holidaying with him after one horrific holiday when I was exhausted from my demanding job and ended up being dragged around, to place, after place, after place.

Normals · 21/05/2025 12:24

I would find his behaviour v v unattractive.

ruethewhirl · 21/05/2025 12:23

Koazy · 21/05/2025 12:15

It sounds like he’s an oik anyway. Not sure why you thought going to Italy would change him.

Oik? You're coming off quite snobby here.

Koazy · 21/05/2025 12:15

It sounds like he’s an oik anyway. Not sure why you thought going to Italy would change him.

Rosesanddaffs · 21/05/2025 12:13

I think it’s fine to want to relax and chill on holiday but he could have taken a week off and stayed at home if he was planning to spend half a day in bed.

Well done you for going about your day and making the most of it xx

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 21/05/2025 12:10

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 10:44

Well no, I’m happy to eat lunch if the other person wants lunch but if I’m on my own I don’t bother as I don’t get hungry. I would have been happy to go out for lunch but he couldn’t even be arsed to do that - he’d get up at lunch time, start whinging about food but “couldn’t be arsed” with a sit down lunch - just wanted take-away type stuff like a McDonald’s or subway - obviously these places don’t tend to exist in Garda. He got his McDonald’s fix in Verona though 🙄

Going for McDonald's when you're on holiday in Verona is a dumpable offence, IMO.

Throw him back in the sea, OP.

Cloudless01 · 21/05/2025 12:10

Surely your weekends at home are exactly the same? He spends half the day in bed then wakes up ravenous wanting fast food. You are up at 6am, have your cereal bar and you’re off for the day. This must have been an issue constantly unless you just meet up for an evening meal!

IkeaJesusChrist · 21/05/2025 12:09

You both sound wildly incompatible.

NewShoesForSpring · 21/05/2025 12:03

Charlottejbt · 21/05/2025 10:36

This is making me want to go to Lake Garda! (Not with that guy, obviously.) YANBU.

Not with either of them to be honest!

I would not enjoy a holiday with someone getting up at 6am & cycling for hours on nothing more than a cereal bar & many instant coffees

For us food & trying new things is a central part of our holidays

The more you post the less compatible you seem

Cherrytree86 · 21/05/2025 12:03

Wanting McDonald’s in Italy is just unforgivable. get him dumped

Lins77 · 21/05/2025 12:01

You said you discussed beforehand the way you wanted the holiday to work – what was the outcome of that?

Middlechild3 · 21/05/2025 11:59

I can see both sides tbh. If you want to relax nowt worse than someone running an itinerary you are expected to fall in with and vice versa. You are just different people surely, how have you not noticed in nearly a year?

rebmacesrevda · 21/05/2025 11:55

S0j0urn4r · 21/05/2025 11:54

Are you still together?

OP's away making him a coffee just now

S0j0urn4r · 21/05/2025 11:54

Are you still together?

Sharptonguedwoman · 21/05/2025 11:51

KimberleyClark · 21/05/2025 09:23

Being on holiday with someone who needs to be up and about at 6am would drive me nuts.

Going all the way to Lake Garda to sleep all day would drive me nuts. She made coffee for this lump 3 times.

katseyes7 · 21/05/2025 11:50

I'd have a few choices with this one.
Stay, but do your own thing and let him get on with it.
Leave him there and go home.
Either way - bin him off. Asap. He's not going to change. He's rude and disrespectful and behaving like a spoilt child. It's not attractive.

chunkyblighter · 21/05/2025 11:49

Lake Garda isn't really a fly and flop destination. Did he want to go to Tenerife but you persuaded him to try Italian culture?! Pearls before swine, my dear!

Unless life is wonderful with him in all other ways I'd say this kind of incompatibility would be the death knell for a longer term relationship. What's he like weekends, short breaks etc? Does he always start late and just want to 'chill'? No oomph.

MrsKeats · 21/05/2025 11:48

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 10:31

I don’t eat much until evening. I have a cereal bar in a morning but that’s about it until evening time. This is another way we are incompatible as he’s obsessed with food and eating. It’s all he’s interested in

I was more sympathetic until this.
Cereal bars? In Italy? The home of some of the best food in the world?

whitewineandsun · 21/05/2025 11:47

How did you get to a year being this incompatible?

FunMustard · 21/05/2025 11:46

CountryQueen · 21/05/2025 09:14

God can you imagine if you had kids with him? Get rid immediately

What a daft comment.

BigDahliaFan · 21/05/2025 11:46

Viviennemary · 21/05/2025 11:43

You are simply not compatible. Yes he is exceptionally lazy. But who gets up at 6 am on holiday. Both of you should find different partners.

I get up at 6 am on holiday - I love going for a wander about on my own as places are waking up. DH sleeps in till about 9am. Works for us both.

Calliopespa · 21/05/2025 11:44

Bumcake · 21/05/2025 11:37

That’s been asked several times per page, but no reply.

It’s possible he was just exhausted. Sometimes people rush finish projects etc before a holiday.

Viviennemary · 21/05/2025 11:43

You are simply not compatible. Yes he is exceptionally lazy. But who gets up at 6 am on holiday. Both of you should find different partners.