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My boyfriend has not been supportive after abortion

109 replies

Mumblebee24 · 21/05/2025 08:19

Hello, so I found out that I was pregnant last month after missing my period - I took a test and there was two big bright red lines.
I thought long and hard about the decision however I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into my life the way it is at the moment. I decided to opt for an abortion - filled in a consultation this was all carried out on phone calls & I was then sent out in the post an abortion kit at home.

This was around 5 days ago now - my boyfriend keeps trying to have sex with me I told him no I’m not doing it I am not going through or having to make the decision I have just had to - he started calling me a baby killer - saying the reason I did abort is because it wasn’t his baby etc etc. literally not the case.

we was cuddling last night, literally 5 minutes in he’s there trying to pull my pants down I said no he kept trying I said no I’m not risking it he can wait until I am contraception + I am still bleeding + very fertile at the moment.

He huffed and got off me told me he didn’t want to just cuddle me and just turned to the side onto his phone - I told him he has no respect for me or my body or what I’ve just had to go through not only mentally but physically.

he then about 20 minutes apologised started to cuddle me again too which I did and he he tried pulling his pants down again and mine I said no again - at this point I was getting annoyed because he was not listening to me anyway from here he just turned away again.

he then said I never want to touch him and that I’m boring - I said to him that we have literally just been cuddling, how do I not touch him. He said that’s boring, I said he only wants to even touch me for sex that’s it he said yeah he does because he can’t stand me.

i haven’t even told my mum about the abortion - I haven’t told anyone but him I have no one else I can speak to so I guess this may be the reason behind the post today

OP posts:
OneAmusedShark · 21/05/2025 08:27

Emilysaltandpepper · 21/05/2025 08:26

Contraceptive fail?
or no contraception?

Does that matter either way?

Emilysaltandpepper · 21/05/2025 08:26

Contraceptive fail?
or no contraception?

OneAmusedShark · 21/05/2025 08:25

The relationship would be over for me after the “baby killer” remark.

If you were using the pills, presumably the pregnancy was ended before 12 weeks?

At that point there is no heartbeat, movement or working central nervous system.

At that point, biologically speaking the pregnancy was never “alive”.

Thats the reason most European countries have a 12 week limit.

You can do better than this waster who only seems interested in one thing.

BogRollBOGOF · 21/05/2025 08:23

He's an abusive sex-pest who doesn't respect you as a human with feelings.

whitewineandsun · 21/05/2025 08:23

he then said I never want to touch him and that I’m boring - I said to him that we have literally just been cuddling, how do I not touch him. He said that’s boring, I said he only wants to even touch me for sex that’s it he said yeah he does because he can’t stand me.

he started calling me a baby killer - saying the reason I did abort is because it wasn’t his baby

You need to listen to what he's telling you. And then get rid of him.

Emilysaltandpepper · 21/05/2025 08:23

Well there we go op

never more clear evidence that you need to finish it

although I suspect sadly enough… you won’t

GoblinMarkets · 21/05/2025 08:23

He’s awful. Terminating was the right decision. Think about making another good decision to get this unsupportive, unpleasant sex pest out of your life asap.

DoYouReally · 21/05/2025 08:21

This isn't a good relationship.

He's nasty and abusive.

It's not good for you to be with someone who is this nasty and doesn't respect boundaries.

Whiteflowerscreed · 21/05/2025 08:20

He sounds awful and I think you deserve a much nicer boyfriend