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Original poster

My boyfriend has not been supportive after abortion

109 replies

Mumblebee24 · 21/05/2025 08:19

Hello, so I found out that I was pregnant last month after missing my period - I took a test and there was two big bright red lines.
I thought long and hard about the decision however I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into my life the way it is at the moment. I decided to opt for an abortion - filled in a consultation this was all carried out on phone calls & I was then sent out in the post an abortion kit at home.

This was around 5 days ago now - my boyfriend keeps trying to have sex with me I told him no I’m not doing it I am not going through or having to make the decision I have just had to - he started calling me a baby killer - saying the reason I did abort is because it wasn’t his baby etc etc. literally not the case.

we was cuddling last night, literally 5 minutes in he’s there trying to pull my pants down I said no he kept trying I said no I’m not risking it he can wait until I am contraception + I am still bleeding + very fertile at the moment.

He huffed and got off me told me he didn’t want to just cuddle me and just turned to the side onto his phone - I told him he has no respect for me or my body or what I’ve just had to go through not only mentally but physically.

he then about 20 minutes apologised started to cuddle me again too which I did and he he tried pulling his pants down again and mine I said no again - at this point I was getting annoyed because he was not listening to me anyway from here he just turned away again.

he then said I never want to touch him and that I’m boring - I said to him that we have literally just been cuddling, how do I not touch him. He said that’s boring, I said he only wants to even touch me for sex that’s it he said yeah he does because he can’t stand me.

i haven’t even told my mum about the abortion - I haven’t told anyone but him I have no one else I can speak to so I guess this may be the reason behind the post today

OP posts:
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kalokagathos · 23/05/2025 22:14

How low is his IQ? Tragic. Kick him to the kerb, pronto!!! And do not get his seed anywhere near you again. You want a child but with a decent human being, not replicate someone like….that!

SunshineIdiot789 · 23/05/2025 22:13

Thank goodness you had the abortion, he is horrible. You would have been tied to him for the rest of your life and you would have traumatised the child with such a horrible father.

It's not your fault you went back. Men like him are not always horrible, they know how to reel you back in.

You've seen he cannot change. You see how he does not respect you. This man has no love for you, he just sees you as a hole with no regard to your feelings. Cut your losses and leave him, for good.

DorothyStorm · 23/05/2025 21:47

You said no to sex and he ignored you, continuing to try to take your pants down.

end the relationship. Use proper contraception. Dont let men have sex with you without a condom. Do nit take him back again.

blubberyboo · 23/05/2025 21:43

Your bf is disgusting and an abuser

Get rid

YellowOrangePink · 23/05/2025 20:16

I have no idea why on earth he's getting the time of day from you.

Please please value and love yourself enough not to have sex with men who will expect you to do this. Only have sex with a man who you are confident would be a loving father. Imagine you had a daughter. Love yourself as much as you would love her, and what you would hope for her.

thepariscrimefiles · 23/05/2025 20:13

Mumblebee24 · 21/05/2025 08:31

The comment he’s made has really hurt me as I found it hard enough going for the option of an abortion. But with my relationship and life at the moment abortion was the best option it would not morally be fair bringing a child into a fkeddd up situation. I still feel really guilty for what I’ve done and him keep accusing me of cheating and telling me I’m a baby killer is just making my head spiral if I have actually made the right choice or not

You have made the right decision. You weren't in a position to have a baby and just try and imagine bringing up a child with your awful boyfriend for a father.

The things that he is saying and doing to you are absolutely disgusting. He is a childish, cruel sex pest and you need to get rid of him.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 23/05/2025 20:09

How soon can you finish with him !

Please don't tell us that you live together ?

Vaxtable · 23/05/2025 20:06

As soon as he said baby killer he would have been kicked out of my life

get rid and find someone decent

BakelikeBertha · 23/05/2025 19:58

As pretty much everyone else has said OP, you have definitely made the RIGHT DECISION to terminate this pregnancy. This man is so far from good father material, that you'd be mad to have a family with him, even if you were in the right position to do so.

He's abusive both physically, and mentally, and quite frankly, I'm quite concerned that he may even rape you, just to satisfy his own selfish needs.

Please don't feel stupid OP, we all make mistakes, but the secret is to learn from them! Go home to Mum, tell her what's happened, and don't ever answer your phone again, unless you know who's calling you.

GreenCandleWax · 23/05/2025 19:55

Emilysaltandpepper · 21/05/2025 08:23

Well there we go op

never more clear evidence that you need to finish it

although I suspect sadly enough… you won’t

Hoping you feel better soon after this ordeal Flowers Please see that this bf is not a good enough partner for you. Please raise your standards about how you will be treated. He does not love or respect you, so when you have recovered soon, you know what to do OP? Just do it. ❤

Newventures · 23/05/2025 19:48

Your poor love, you deserve care and support after what you have been through. He is very abusive and manipulative. If you can’t talk to someone in your life like your Mum would you call the Women’s Aid helpline? They would give you lots of support, you don’t have to give them your full details if you don’t want to but they would help you think through a strategy of ending this relationship safely and building your self esteem back up. He will get much worse and you need support to stay strong x

JudgeyJudie · 23/05/2025 19:36

Mumblebee24 · 21/05/2025 08:31

The comment he’s made has really hurt me as I found it hard enough going for the option of an abortion. But with my relationship and life at the moment abortion was the best option it would not morally be fair bringing a child into a fkeddd up situation. I still feel really guilty for what I’ve done and him keep accusing me of cheating and telling me I’m a baby killer is just making my head spiral if I have actually made the right choice or not

What a piece of shit he is
Tell mum, go home, and never see him again

tripleginandtonic · 23/05/2025 18:31

Get rid OP.

Coconutter24 · 23/05/2025 18:29

Are you quite young/vulnerable? I only ask because more than once you’ve mentioned your mum. It would probably be best to speak with her and she can help getting you away from him

myplace · 23/05/2025 18:28

Mumblebee24 · 21/05/2025 08:31

The comment he’s made has really hurt me as I found it hard enough going for the option of an abortion. But with my relationship and life at the moment abortion was the best option it would not morally be fair bringing a child into a fkeddd up situation. I still feel really guilty for what I’ve done and him keep accusing me of cheating and telling me I’m a baby killer is just making my head spiral if I have actually made the right choice or not

This isn’t a reason to doubt your decision. This is a reason to congratulate yourself on making a tough but wise choice, allowing you to free yourself from this abusive shit of a man.

Sweetie, you may need to tell your mum, if that’s what it takes to get you away from him.

JHound · 23/05/2025 18:23

Whiteflowerscreed · 21/05/2025 08:20

He sounds awful and I think you deserve a much nicer boyfriend

This.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 23/05/2025 18:19

And you are with him because….? He is vile and abusive, he doesn’t deserve you !

Boreded · 23/05/2025 18:05

Leave! You know this.

do it before you get sucked back in. He is vile

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/05/2025 17:56

I'm sorry you are going through this, he is taking advantage of your pain, he is vile, please speak to someone in RL.

outerspacepotato · 23/05/2025 17:54

You need to leave him. He's sexually abusive and cares so little for you that he doesn't care that you could get an infection of your reproductive organs that could affect your future fertility or get septic. He's all about his orgasm and is good with risking your health or your life to have one.

Think about that the next time he mouths words that mean nothing.

tothelefttotheleft · 23/05/2025 17:47

@Mumblebee24

You said "it would not morally be fair bringing a child into a fkeddd up situation. "

Can you not show yourself the same love you described? You are important too. Have those high standards for yourself as well.

MoistVonL · 23/05/2025 17:39

Pack up your stuff and go back to your mum’s house now. Thank heavens you aren’t having a child with this utter swine.

Congratulate yourself on making the smart choice and spend this bank holiday weekend celebrating getting rid of your abusive ex.

Silvertulips · 23/05/2025 17:34

You can hardly spend your whole life with this turd to prove your mum wrong...

Honestly, your mum already knows, woman in abusive relationships don’t hide it as well as they think.

MrsKateColumbo · 23/05/2025 17:33

Oh OP, your mum won't care/think badly of you, she will just want to know you're safe, im sure my own DD will make mistakes in life but I would feel sad if she felt she couldn't reach out to me.

Can you stay with her tomorrow? You did a kind thing not saddling a child with an awful father, you sound quite young, honestly there's so much more to life than this loser. X

FortyElephants · 23/05/2025 17:28

Mumblebee24 · 21/05/2025 08:37

we did breakup fairly recently - I took my stuff & went back to my mums - he went out on a massive bender for a week & then he was not stop harassing me, I was really determined I wasn’t going to go back I blocked him on everything his number he started calling me on no caller ID I stupidly answered he told me a bunch of sweet nothings & promised everything would change but fast forward too now I’m back to square one again and I just feel stupid now partly the reason why I haven’t spoken to my mum about this

He's a really, really bad guy. Please do yourself a favour and end it properly.

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