Renting my property to husband’s ex

Unfair comment

Complaining that she now sounds like an arsehole, because someone points out she's doing nothing for herself and lapping up hand-outs, doesn't really achieve anything does it...

Exactly this.
Why bother marrying at all if you aren't going to share things?

I don't get it. Why not just stay as long term partners?
Are pre-nups actually watertight in the UK? I didn't think so.

Do you use a property management company OP?

If so you will not have to deal with her and it won't be awkward.

You are very financially secure and I think it would be nice to offer a lovely home to her.

You didn't answer the question is some of the money you get going to your SC too?

I think if this was a man saying they had separate savings for their biological child there would be different answers.

Are prenups legal in UK? Surely when you married your DH you realised he came as a package?

Projecting much? This woman everyone is so quick to vilify has asked for nothing. Ops husband has asked op. Her landlord isn't kicking her out for property damage or rent arrears yet people are so quick to SURE she'll wreck her kids new home just to piss off op and refuse to pay rent to sour a currently good co-parenting relationship .

Lots of people are ‘lacking in resources’ but are very much able to prioritise essential payments and do whatever is necessary to keep the roof over their heads. O P has been nothing but kinda ing her assessment of this woman yet so many people insisting she’s a lazy, ungrateful piece of work who is out to take advantage.

Your tenants might want to renew their lease. If I had reliable tenants I would not be willing to kick them out.

Agreed! There are some really unpleasant posts about the ex wife - based on nothing substantial at all!

The OP says she is a good mum so why the assumption she's a waster, lazy, going to take the OP for a ride etc etc.

Where in the OP’s post is there any suggestion that the ex is irresponsible, or has a history of poor money management? Quite the opposite.

OP, if she’s prepared to sign a standard rental agreement, would that make you feel better?

@literati

What's the mother doing in the effective 6mths every year that she doesn't have her children to improve her income?

As well as having her rent paid by UC, she'll be getting £200 odd a month CB, around £1500 UC top up, plus her wages, plus £866 a month gifted to her from her ex. All luxuries for her kids bought by you. And no one but herself to pay for, for half the year.

Is she for fucking real? Looking at you to house her now, in a house she can't afford, but rather than get off her arse in her copious free time or used the £866 gifted each month to put towards the rent, thinks the answer is to dock your daughter's uni fund and give her below market rent.

So when the girls turn 18 (ish) and she's lost her benefits, and can't afford anything, you'll be the bastard who's making her homeless by not allowing her to be a cheeky fucker leech for all eternity at your daughter's expense.

I wouldn't as it would probably get to the point where she will think why does she need to pay rent to her ex to house his children! It's a mess waiting to happen!

True yes. Not good.

It's not her mess but she married the man and his ex wife and kids come as part of that deal so unfortunately she has inherited a share of "the mess"

It's not about the ex wife which everyone seems obsessively hung up on, it's about the kids, her husband's kids, her stepkids, and helping to provide them with a stable home.

Who is to say the ex wife isn't working hard to improve her finances but that the problem is that it isn't goint to be an instant fix and she just needs a bit of help at the moment?
And how can you know she wouldn't do the same for the OP if the situations were reversed?

It's so depressing to read the selfish and unkind attitudes of people on here.

I would imagine XW already uses that £800 for council tax, utilities, food, school uniform, etc; so unsure how she’d cope without it, even if she’s not technically “entitled” to it.

If she can only afford a one bed flat and the dc's go to live with OP and her DH then the ex loses out (or DH gains) to the tune of £800 per month because there is no way she is entitled to that when she doesn't even the have dcs with her.

This is not your mess OP
It is madness to use your inheritance to help the ex wife
What does she do to help herself? evening classes, laying the ground work to go back to education to better her employment chances? or relying on low income and state top ups forever?

Let her tell the council they are homeless and let the council sort this out.

Brutal, but if it were the other way around, would she heklp you? I doubt it + DH is already diverting household income to her via overly general payments because you have money.

What a shit show

Never my mix business with pleasure

At the moment you'd be helping your DSDs but what happens when they leave home _ would you still be willing to let their DM pay you less? If you desperately needed the money and had to sell what then? If you let anyone rent for below market rates they can't afford to move because the rents elsewhere will be way too high, even worse than now. You'd be better off upping the CM, even if you were paying the difference, because then there is a cut off date.

I think you should do it.

But like others have said have a time limit, because you can't financially afford to do it forever.
You say the rental income is being put away for your DDs future, is any of that earmarked for you SDs?

If you are that financially secure I would do it to enable your SDs to have a stable home.

You don't know what the future will bring the ex wife may meet someone and decide to move in with them.

I would put it to her that you are helping her out but it is on day a 5year agreement.

He has the £800 that he currently gives his ex-wife so that would be a good start. She couldn't complain as they currently have the children 50:50 so she has no entitlement to child support. If he has a fancy car, he'll have to sell it!

Ñim in the minority but I would say yes. If she can't rent where she is, she's going to have to look further away. How will you as a family unit feel if the girls live further away with Mom or if they have to spend more time with you because she can't adequately house them.

I know anything can happen but it hardly sounds like you're at risk of needing to sell the properties to maintain your lifestyle and the money is pure profit so you're not "losing" in the sense of against a mortgage.

How does your rental costs compare to her current rent? You don't necessarily have to offer her below market, and then husband can choose to pay her more if he wants to.

If you're a good landlord and she's a decent person, I don't see why there has to be an issue. Just be very clear what's her responsibilities and don't be a dick landlord.

Having retrained and become self employed dh is now a high earner. If ex-wife defaults, he can cover her rent out of his income, particularly as he isn't paying a mortgage on the matrimonial home. For starters, he could redirect the £800 p/m that he currently gives his ex-wife to the rent if she defaults. Ex-wife couldn't complain given they each have the children 50:50 so she has no legal entitlement to child support.

Absolutely not. No good deed goes unpunished. I did this for my sister. She trashed my property, refused to leave when I needed to sell, threatened me and didn't pay in the end. My own flesh and blood. Previously good relationship, now nc.

OP doesn't seem to be concerned about the cost but more about the trickiest how how long it would be for

I wouldn’t be so certain that DH has a slush fund large enough each month to cover XW’s rent if she defaults. OP did say he earns half of what she does—he did retrain, yes, but an increase on low wages isn’t always into uber rich territory. He may be paying off debts he had from his low-income days (OP said he had no assets—he could have easily been in debt), or he may have bought himself a fancy car and have an eye watering monthly car payment. We don’t know whether or not he has that much money floating around each month.