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Original poster

Renting my property to husband’s ex

231 replies

literati · 21/05/2025 01:47

Name change for this post as some details are quite outing. For context My husband and I have been married for 8 years, I have one daughter from my first marriage and he has two daughters with his ex wife, all kids are early to mid teens, my DD lives with us 12/14 nights and my step DDs are with us 50/50. Our blended family works really well, the girls are very close, go to the same school and have mutual friends. Co-parenting with our respective ex’s is pretty amicable and we all live within 15 minutes of each other.

Now on to my dilemma, after dropping the girls off to his ex wife’s house, the girls Mum has told him that her landlord has given her notice to quit her lease and she is really struggling to find somewhere to rent that she can afford. She is single and working full time in a relatively low paid role so I totally get that it is really tough for her. My husband pays her maintenance weekly at £200 pw even though we have 50/50 care as he earns much more than her, no issue with this. I own a rental property in our town which I purchased before I met my husband there is no mortgage on it. My husband has asked if I would rent it to her for below market rent to help her out. Property is currently being let out but lease ends in September. On one hand I totally understand why he wants to help her the girls need a stable home and there is a housing crisis, on the other I am nervous to get involved in business/ finances with his ex, seems a bit too entangled. Wwyd in this situation?

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 22/05/2025 08:51

Absolutely not. Risk of this affecting your relationships is far too high. A risk not worth taking.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/05/2025 08:50

Coconutter24 · 22/05/2025 06:50

He’s giving them plenty of help financially plus having them live with him 50/50 so he does more than his equal share to look after his teenage children. Their wellbeing isn’t just on him, at what point does the mum step up to do more? The children are hers as well

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And she's doing her best. But the rental market is shit. Getting a DECENT landlord with a DECENT property to give you a decent length lease, all the power is with the landlord given the market so why pick the single Mom with one income when you can have two incomes? That's what this help is a about. Finding a good landlord.

Original poster
literati · 22/05/2025 08:36

Orangesinthebag · 22/05/2025 07:16

She has them 50/50 and the OP herself has said she is a good mum. She just happens to do a job that is very valuable in terms of what she does but isn't well paid hence her problem.

And ,anyway, as I understand it, the ex isn't asking for extra help, it's the OP's husband who is advocating on her behalf perhaps because he realises she may have to move further away from him or may have to ask him.to have the children full time - which wouldn't be good for them because she is a good mum & presumably they want to keep living with her too.

She isn't a lazy free loader because she isn't the one asking for this help, HE wants to offer it & perhaps thought his wife would be able to help his kids because a) she is married to him and b) she/they can afford to and c) she's a generous, caring person perhaps?

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Upon reflection this post has maybe changed my mind. You are correct my SCs Mum hasn’t asked me for any help, now or ever. She has always been courteous and friendly towards me and she has raised lovely girls who are my daughters sisters now. Yes I contribute the vast majority of money and assets in my family but I have gained a lot in return, my daughter has two wonderful sisters to grow up with, she has the best step dad who treats her like his own and my wonderful in-laws have welcomed their bonus grandchild with love as both my parents have died. I am so very blessed in my life and it is a privilege in itself to even have the ability to assist in this way. We will discuss options with ex wife and see what she wants to do, it’s her life and she is in control but maybe it’s better to offer this option rather than her having to ask us for help.

OP posts:
ThreenagerCentral · 22/05/2025 07:34

I would do it. If finances aren’t a worry for you, I think it’s a kind way of looking after each other and being a single parent on a low income is really tough. You could arrange a 2 year lease maybe? Yes there is a risk they’ll be hard to move on, but what if the arrangement was to last until the girls are 18? Or until mum has a better paid job? Or has completed an extra qualification that can lead to more money for her? You seem to have a wonderful blended family.

arcticpandas · 22/05/2025 07:25

Just wanted to say that you sound lovely @literati and your SC are so lucky to have you.

Orangesinthebag · 22/05/2025 07:16

Coconutter24 · 22/05/2025 06:50

He’s giving them plenty of help financially plus having them live with him 50/50 so he does more than his equal share to look after his teenage children. Their wellbeing isn’t just on him, at what point does the mum step up to do more? The children are hers as well

Show quote history

She has them 50/50 and the OP herself has said she is a good mum. She just happens to do a job that is very valuable in terms of what she does but isn't well paid hence her problem.

And ,anyway, as I understand it, the ex isn't asking for extra help, it's the OP's husband who is advocating on her behalf perhaps because he realises she may have to move further away from him or may have to ask him.to have the children full time - which wouldn't be good for them because she is a good mum & presumably they want to keep living with her too.

She isn't a lazy free loader because she isn't the one asking for this help, HE wants to offer it & perhaps thought his wife would be able to help his kids because a) she is married to him and b) she/they can afford to and c) she's a generous, caring person perhaps?

jasflowers · 22/05/2025 06:52

JustMyView13 · 22/05/2025 06:47

Fixed term becomes a rolling contract unless proactively a new contract is agreed, the tenant wants to leave or the eviction process is started.

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But thats my point, we don't know what the original tenancy was.

My understanding is a FT contract is exactly that - Fixed, its a AST that rolls over at the end of, usually, 6 months.

But i may be wrong about this.

Coconutter24 · 22/05/2025 06:50

Orangesinthebag · 21/05/2025 22:26

Again, it's not to help the ex as much as it is to help the children she shares with the OP's husband - the OP's step children.

Show quote history

He’s giving them plenty of help financially plus having them live with him 50/50 so he does more than his equal share to look after his teenage children. Their wellbeing isn’t just on him, at what point does the mum step up to do more? The children are hers as well

JustMyView13 · 22/05/2025 06:47

jasflowers · 22/05/2025 06:43

Depends on the contract...

Fixed Term is exactly that, AST only rolls on to a periodic tenancy if agreed.

But not read all the thread so perhaps the OP has clarified this?

Like i said, if it has rolled on to a PT, then of course the tenant should be allowed to stay, no one shd be evicted to make room for another tenant.

Show quote history

Fixed term becomes a rolling contract unless proactively a new contract is agreed, the tenant wants to leave or the eviction process is started.

jasflowers · 22/05/2025 06:43

JustMyView13 · 22/05/2025 06:37

You automatically go onto a rolling contract unless the Tennant actively decides to give notice to move out, or the landlord evicts them.

Show quote history

Depends on the contract...

Fixed Term is exactly that, AST only rolls on to a periodic tenancy if agreed.

But not read all the thread so perhaps the OP has clarified this?

Like i said, if it has rolled on to a PT, then of course the tenant should be allowed to stay, no one shd be evicted to make room for another tenant.

JustMyView13 · 22/05/2025 06:37

jasflowers · 22/05/2025 06:35

Well, no one should be evicted to make room for another but i understood from the OP the TA expires shortly and the tenant is moving on?

If not, then of course the option for the ex to rent shouldn't arise.

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You automatically go onto a rolling contract unless the Tennant actively decides to give notice to move out, or the landlord evicts them.

jasflowers · 22/05/2025 06:35

JustMyView13 · 21/05/2025 08:42

Yes, quite true. But at the end of the day, OP has an apparently good Tennant in property already who presumably pays rent on time. Why evict them to take on a risky Tennant & risk jeopardising the seemingly good dynamic between all the parents.

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Well, no one should be evicted to make room for another but i understood from the OP the TA expires shortly and the tenant is moving on?

If not, then of course the option for the ex to rent shouldn't arise.

Pickledpoppetpickle · 21/05/2025 22:57

Made up numbers based on someone thinking they know all about UC.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 21/05/2025 22:52

Don’t do it. Too entangled.

Orangesinthebag · 21/05/2025 22:39

HopscotchBanana · 21/05/2025 22:35

And only has her children 6mths of the year.

And gets her rent paid by UC

And gets £1000+ UC top up per month

And £200 CB per month

And £866 gifted to her each month off the person who takes her kids for 6mths a year.

So yeah, she's not doing too badly for money. Certainly isn't looking at working to earn more, even though she's got half the year to herself and her kids are already teenagers.

No,no. The thing to do here is gift her even more. Who cares if someone else's child's uni fund is where she's getting the thousands of pounds of gifts from...

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Where are you getting all these numbers from?

AaaahBlandsHatch · 21/05/2025 22:38

Whatever you decide, first accept that effectively you'll never be able to kick her out. As the saying goes, only two people can end a tenancy, and the landlord isn't one of them. (And that was even before the new rules!)

HopscotchBanana · 21/05/2025 22:35

Praying4Peace · 21/05/2025 22:29

Are you serious? The lady is working FT

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And only has her children 6mths of the year.

And gets her rent paid by UC

And gets £1000+ UC top up per month

And £200 CB per month

And £866 gifted to her each month off the person who takes her kids for 6mths a year.

So yeah, she's not doing too badly for money. Certainly isn't looking at working to earn more, even though she's got half the year to herself and her kids are already teenagers.

No,no. The thing to do here is gift her even more. Who cares if someone else's child's uni fund is where she's getting the thousands of pounds of gifts from...

Praying4Peace · 21/05/2025 22:34

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 21/05/2025 08:09

You're a blended family, and this is the mother of your step kids. You otherwise have no issues.

I would rent to her, it's a no brainer.

Anyone can fall on hard times, and I'm sure she's embarrassed to have to accept help from you. Renting to her is the right thing to do.

My thoughts too. OP doesn't need the money. No biggie

Walkerzoo · 21/05/2025 22:34

She must be on universal credit. With a tenancy agreement rent will be paid.

Orangesinthebag · 21/05/2025 22:33

Praying4Peace · 21/05/2025 22:29

Are you serious? The lady is working FT

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Yes. 🙄
Soon someone will be on to ask if the ex has considered selling her own organs to raise some cash yet.
If not, she really isn't trying hard enough for goodness sake!

Praying4Peace · 21/05/2025 22:32

TheHerboriste · 21/05/2025 10:53

People don’t “fall” on hard times, they experience the consequences of their choices.

OP is already being treated like the cash cow of this group and now they want to milk her for more.

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Heartless insensitive post. Consequences of actions?????? The lady is working FT in a job that doesn't pay well. What has she done wrong????

Praying4Peace · 21/05/2025 22:29

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 21/05/2025 11:51

@literati can I take it the ex is now working full time considering her children are mid teens? has she thought about looking for another job after hours that could help her earn more money??

Are you serious? The lady is working FT

Original poster
literati · 21/05/2025 22:26

DorothywiththeRedShoes · 21/05/2025 22:02

Do you use a property management company OP?

If so you will not have to deal with her and it won't be awkward.

You are very financially secure and I think it would be nice to offer a lovely home to her.

You didn't answer the question is some of the money you get going to your SC too?

I think if this was a man saying they had separate savings for their biological child there would be different answers.

Are prenups legal in UK? Surely when you married your DH you realised he came as a package?

Sorry yes I do use a property management company, DH actually suggested that we could forgo using them and paying the Gardner and that would almost make up for the loss on rent if we did agree to a lease with her.

As for uni fees for my SC, my husband is saving for them, it’s nowhere near the same amount as my daughter has but I will most likely top it up so they have comparable experiences at uni, They will all be receiving a car when they pass their tests, but it won’t be super flash and there are conditions on receiving such as maintaining grades and having a small part time job.

OP posts:
Orangesinthebag · 21/05/2025 22:26

Coconutter24 · 21/05/2025 22:24

If he’s giving her £200pw why does she need it at below market rate? I wouldn’t do it, what’s to say she won’t take the mess and try skipping payments? Why should you be out of pocket each month to help his ex?

Again, it's not to help the ex as much as it is to help the children she shares with the OP's husband - the OP's step children.

Coconutter24 · 21/05/2025 22:24

If he’s giving her £200pw why does she need it at below market rate? I wouldn’t do it, what’s to say she won’t take the mess and try skipping payments? Why should you be out of pocket each month to help his ex?