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Original poster

Renting my property to husband’s ex

231 replies

literati · 21/05/2025 01:47

Name change for this post as some details are quite outing. For context My husband and I have been married for 8 years, I have one daughter from my first marriage and he has two daughters with his ex wife, all kids are early to mid teens, my DD lives with us 12/14 nights and my step DDs are with us 50/50. Our blended family works really well, the girls are very close, go to the same school and have mutual friends. Co-parenting with our respective ex’s is pretty amicable and we all live within 15 minutes of each other.

Now on to my dilemma, after dropping the girls off to his ex wife’s house, the girls Mum has told him that her landlord has given her notice to quit her lease and she is really struggling to find somewhere to rent that she can afford. She is single and working full time in a relatively low paid role so I totally get that it is really tough for her. My husband pays her maintenance weekly at £200 pw even though we have 50/50 care as he earns much more than her, no issue with this. I own a rental property in our town which I purchased before I met my husband there is no mortgage on it. My husband has asked if I would rent it to her for below market rent to help her out. Property is currently being let out but lease ends in September. On one hand I totally understand why he wants to help her the girls need a stable home and there is a housing crisis, on the other I am nervous to get involved in business/ finances with his ex, seems a bit too entangled. Wwyd in this situation?

OP posts:
Fantailsflitting · 21/05/2025 02:41

No, I wouldn't be subsidising his ex wife. Even if it was at market rental. I just wouldnt get entangled like this. Your husband earns quite well you say. Perhaps he can give her more money - you know his exwife, his children etc.

Caligirl80 · 21/05/2025 02:38

Oh Hell No. NEVER in a million years. Nope. Nada. Forget about it - etc etc etc. That is MADNESS.

It's your separate property, as is any income generated from that property. Your husband should respect that and not be telling you what to do with it. It's no different than if he had been left his parent's house prior to marrying you and was renting it out: can you imagine how he would feel if one of your ex boyfriends wanted to move in and pay less rent? That would be nonsensical.

Plus, of course, that woman could be a crappy tenant, not pay her rent, and you'd be stuck trying to evict her - which is a headache you do not want.

If your husband wants to be daft and pay her an extra £200 per month (out of your community property btw, so you are actually paying £100 of it!!) when he doesn't have to then so be it. But there's no way he should be expecting you to give up your separate - none marital - property, together with the earnings from it - just so his ex can have a place to live. If he wanted to stay married to her then that's what he should have done - but forcing you to be a provider for this woman is absolutely ridiculous.

If I were you I would be very wary indeed here: make sure your separate rental money from your property is going into its own bank account and isn't comingled with any joint bank accounts etc that you may have with your husband.
You don't have to be mean or unpleasant in saying no (though I would certainly react with some degree of shock at having been put in that weird position!) just say absolutely not, no. The whole point of him getting divorced was to have as few ties to this woman as possible: it would be ludicrous for him to expect you to not only have her tied to your separate property, but for you to be losing earnings from that property in the process.

Ellephanting · 21/05/2025 02:23

With the changes coming in for rental properties, you won’t be able to kick anyone out. I’ve just sold my rental property, as the laws to protect tenants has made being a landlord untenable.

GreenCandleWax · 21/05/2025 02:22

Entangling family or an ex's family with your financial doings is a recipe for falling out in future. You seem to have such a good arrangement, with everyone getting on so well, it would be huge risk to all that wellbeing. Decline by convincing DH and his ex that you value the relationships too much to mix family and business. Maybe you could help in other ways to find somewhere for them.

Original poster
literati · 21/05/2025 02:05

The issue for me isn’t really about the loss of rental income for me, I am very financially fortunate with a well paying career and owning properties through inheritance. It’s more what if I need to sell the house at some point in the future how could I kick them out? I have the ability to help but if I do will this come back to bite me? You know what they say about good intentions..

OP posts:
Frostynoman · 21/05/2025 01:55

My knee jerk to the title was ‘no, absolutely not’.

It’s a tough situation for the ex but ultimately I wouldn’t get entangled in this - your husband will be caught in the middle and it’s all very enmeshed. I don’t see it fair for him to ask you to subsidise / financially support (in part) his ex.