For not dating an unemployed man?

That wouldn't be fair on him he he did want a relationship with someone though.

Would you want to be someone's 'not good enough for a relationship but good enough for a chat and dinner with'? Because I wouldn't if a relationship was what I was looking for.

Your reasoning is completely sound. You are fundamentally incompatible with this man - given age difference, family status, employment.

The only thing you’ve done wrong is second guess yourself.

It's no fun mocking snobbery if you make it too obvious!

Of course you have made the right decision. Please ignore posters on here that are giving you are hard time. Why would anyone start dating a man/ woman that didn't work.

Some of these replies are ridiculous.

You can choose not to date someone for any reason.

The Equality Act doesn't apply to personal relationships and it's not an equal opportunities situation.

No one is owed a relationship and it doesn't matter what your personal reason for rejecting someone is.

Written by a man . What rubbish

it sounds like he could work but chooses not to. I’d give him a wide berth.

You aren’t compatible , let this one go .

So 28 year old woman in a well paid professional job with her own home can’t do better than a nearly 40 year old unemployed council tenant?

Delulu.

That poster also likely noted that this man didn’t OP’s message well.

They’ve never even met, any decent man would have just said ‘no problem’.

Well, I wouldn't be sure she can do better. She's past the first flush of youth and having a 3 year-old isn't a selling point.

I think you are being very sensible to consider what the impact could be on you and your child. It’s perfectly reasonable and I wouldn’t date someone I may have to support later if I already had a child, my child is always my priority.

I think it’s fine to not want to date anyone for any reason at all, including not having a job or living in social housing, thats fine, it may not be particularly politically correct but women are not a public service and no-one is owed a relationship. Men routinely don’t want to date women for all sorts of reasons and I doubt other men guilt them for it.

Not snobbish maybe slightly shallow gicen your update but you are entitled to date who you want

If you’re in a ‘well paid’ job then unless it’s 6 figures, you’ll never get to really enjoy the fruits of your labours if the other person is barely bringing in anything. I’d have done the same 🤷‍♀️

Don’t give it a second thought. You made the right decision.

It rather sounds as though his only disability is "Lazy Bastard Syndrome". I bet he was gutted @Butterfly789. Gutted that he saw his meal ticket fluttering away. Well done!

I think the bigger red flag is that he ‘didn’t take it very well’. I presume you didn’t mention his employment when you decided to stop talking to him. What did he say? Is it possible your spidey senses are telling you this guy is off and you’re trying to justify it?

I think you'd have got very different replies had you mentioned in the OP, some of the things you've said subsequently.

A lot of posters have assumed he uses a wheelchair, became disabled due to work and has had compensation money, can't walk very far etc etc.

I completely understand why you do not want to date this man. You are sensible and thinking of yourself and your daughter first. I also wonder why he can’t work at all. Of course it is completely his right to live his life the way he wants to live it, but it is also your right not to chose a man like him as your partner. I definitely would not be interested!

So what is a 'poor job' for men and women that would make them unacceptable to date?

Eww! Imagine having sex with someone in a council house. As a bare minimum I'd want a new build, and ideally a sympathetically restored period property.

I would never date an unemployed man or date a man with a poor job.

I think you are perfectly justified and it reflects well on you that you recognise up front that it wouldn't work. You are already responsible for a child and to take on a partner who would likely increase the burden on you is just impractical. Find someone else to love, there are plenty out there. You have no reason to settle for this guy.

@Butterfly789 not sure why you posted tbh as your replies suggest that you don’t think you are. Personally I would say yes you are are a bit. When did he tell you he doesn’t work or has a disability? Before or after you went on a date? If before then yeah then I think your being unreasonable, this guy opened up you before the date that’s he’s disabled and then to basically throw that back at him for not wanting a second date is low. I know you said it’s not about the disability but inherently at the moment it is, because you don’t know why he can’t or doesn’t work. Yeah he may just be lazy etc but he may not be, think about the uproar over PIP and loads of people defending people with disabilities not being able to work. If you found out after the date or during then I think you’re not because you don’t actively sign up to meet someone whose lifestyle doesn’t work for you.