Not picked as bridesmaids out of a 3 way friendship

I haven’t DM you. I replied to a post. Which is exactly the same thing you did to me? Did you not stalk me first? Go back on a comment I made and post a comment? Actions have consequences sweetheart. We simply disagreed, which people can do. But you took it personally and started going through my old threads. So I’m just calling out your behaviour and doing the same.

They misquoted what I’d said completely. I’m guessing it’s probably you on an alt. I have reported you as I’ve just seen your stupid DM.

One more bridesmaid adds up in cost. Dress, outfit, make up and hair, bridesmaid gift. Could easily be another £300-£400.

Arguing with another person who has a different point of view 😆 maybe you’re the problem 🤔

Many people don't seem to realise that your wedding, if you choose to have a 'big traditional wedding' is effectively the place you lay out in a hierarchy who is valued most in your life. Of course this hurts those who felt they were closer to you than you think they are. Anway OP, your friend is not your close friend, she's shown that in her actions and choices. You can now proceed accordingly.

Because it's embarrassing, awkward and makes you look needy if you ask 😅

I hear these sort of arguments all the time... no one is entitled to have a part in anyone's wedding.

just respect the persons decision and move on with life... they don't owe you an explanation.

>one suggesting that you’re fat and wouldn’t look good in a bridesmaid dress

Don’t put words into my mouth that I didn’t say and take my reply out of context, that is really nasty. I said as a plus size person myself (I did not say the word fat) mainstream dress companies often do not do plus sizes and bride may have her heart set on a dress from there, which still doesn’t excuse her awful behaviour

NOWHERE did I say she wouldn’t look good in a bridesmaid dress, even if she was plus size which OP has confirmed is not the case.

That's really hurtful. I wonder why she decided to leave you out? I mean what's one more bridesmaid?! I had 4 bridesmaids, so thst I didn't leave anyone out. I bought cheaper dresses to afford it all, because I wanted them all there. Surely she must know that it's changed the dynamics of the friendship now! I think she doesn't see you as a close friend like the other one. I'd take a big step back and stop messaging so much. I'd keep in contact with the other friend because she's done nothing wrong. I don't think talking about it with her, would change anything. She doesn't see you as her best friend, that would be a nail in the friendship coffin for me.

Some strange replies -

One suggesting that you’re fat and wouldn’t look good in a bridesmaid dress and another suggesting you must be so gorgeous that she can’t have you upstaging her on the big day! 😂

None of us can possibly say why she hasn’t chosen you and why she has not even spoken to you about it so obviously something is afoot that you were unaware of!

Could be that her husband to be doesn’t like you? Or her mother doesn’t like you? Or Friend B has shit stirred for some reason? Who knows?

You either decide to ask her outright or let them get on with it.

Pwrsonally, I would be relieved at not having to be a Bridesmaid and all the rigmarole that goes with it but it is odd that you were not asked so I understand that you feel slighted.

No, you just have to type your username into google free of charge to see it.

It only took typing your username into Google to see the (often abusive) claptrap you’ve been spouting to other people on this site

You’ve been on here all evening for hours telling every single person on OP’s side that they’re wrong and trying to pick fights on other threads. Give it up.

The bride can do what she likes. Why does the bride have to tell her plans, they clearly aren’t as close as she thinks. And yes I completely think this is okay to do. Her wedding, her choice.

This is good advice. Think of all the time, money and aggro you will save not having to be involved in the pageant.

Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to be pressed into service as a lackey. Don't attend dress shopping, hen do or any of that other claptrap.

Well, now you know.

No matter how she tries to justify it, the facts speak for themselves.

Not all friendships last forever; in fact, most do not. Focus your energies on cultivating new friends and people to do things with. Personally I'd not attend the wedding; why rub salt in your own wound? Choices have consequences.

YANBU
It’s very shabby and I would be very hurt and upset too. She’s completely disregarded your feelings and hasn’t had the guts to talk to you about it. Can your other friend shed light on it?

I think she isn't a nice person

I wouldn't say anything and I would watch the drama that always comes with brides. All.the shopping, the hen events. .. and I would be grateful I am not tied up with it. You know where you stand so do t waste any more time on her.

That's really, really rubbish and seems like poor form for not, at the very least, talking to you about it before the news was made public.

I'm sorry your friend let you down so badly.

I totally ageee that I would feel the same way you did…..

it’s so incredibly hurtful. I’m so sorry

That stole my house user is a troll, there is no point engaging with them

Why?

That isn't always the case

I can see how my description reads like that, but it wasn’t. She accepted full responsibility, was and still is very remorseful. She offered those explanations, not excuses, for the way she’d treated me, and that helped me to understand. It helped me to realise I hadn’t done anything to warrant the treatment, it was her not me, and she really felt awful for hurting me so much. I have forgiven her, she’s been so grateful to be forgiven, and has really stepped up as a friend. Our friendship has survived, but probably wouldn’t have done if I’d continued to wallow and not confront the situation.