Something strange about mother in law

She sounds a bit odd but I suppose she was just having a moan (in her real voice) and didn’t know anyone was listening. Going on about her dds weight is weird but some people are really obsessed with appearance.

not sure why people are commenting on the age gap. OP is in her late twenties, she’s not a teenager. And it’s 13 years, not 30.

Next time she mentions how thin her DD is just smile sweetly and say, “Thankfully your DS loves my fat ass.” Or perhaps a comment on how you think there would be a real problem if he found you less appealing in outfits than his sister. Or say how much you yourself love your figure. “I love how soft I am and I think I look cute as buttons in everything I wear.”

There’s a whole world of joy and beauty beyond simply “is thin.” Feel free to express this openly.

If your 40 year old boyfriend who picked you up in your 20’s doesn’t like it - leave. Or just do that first idk.

I would have gone to the kitchen and said: I’m so f’ing sorry you have been waiting a long f’ing time. We better f’ing hurry as I know you are very f’ing hungry.

And I would have walked out.

If you don’t like her and that’s fine, it seems like she’s two faced and you’ve had the luxury of peaking behind the MIL curtain early so to speak. Basically your intuition was right and she’s not all sweetness but if the family are all defensive of her then you can’t expect anything to change BUT if you aren't able to be somewhat transparent about that with your partner then it’s going to be an issue in future.

I’m not suggesting you slag off his mother to him btw, but if you can’t even raise her odd behaviour then I’d be asking why. You can’t really work through issues if you can’t even raise them.

You don’t like her. You don’t have to like her. DH and I both find each other’s mothers insufferable in different styles. Perfectly upfront about it too.

I'd say it's possibly normal 72 year old behaviour. I'm nearly 60 and do the muttering under my breath, I have to check myself. I love a good moan to myself. You are within your rights to ask her why she keeps going on about how thin her DD is, just start replying, "yes you said". However some people go into cognitive decline younger and that's what could be happening.

The deep voice swearing is unsettling. Tell you do about it and see if he’s witness similar.

out of interest WHY wouldn’t you have mentioned it to him after she left?

That’s your opinion. Op hasn’t ask about opinions on her age gap. I think it’s creepy that we try to infantilise grown women. What is an acceptable age gap? 30 and 43? 40 and 53? I would like to know since you find it creepy

She’s use to being the queen bee and have everyone pander to her. Comments about her daughter are weird but have had a ex-nan say similar things. Are you skinny? She may not like fat people or think her don is too good for you. I wouldn’t put up with this, your OH will likely choose her if things came to ahead. Either dump him or reduce contact. She is toxic.

Hmm I’m unsure! My mil irritates me a lot and we have had our difficulties, she also does love to judge appearance/comment on weight but I don’t think she’d purposefully say anything pointed like that.

Re the breakfast though, could she have been a bit hangry/ fed up about going out to eat? Was there food available at home? I’m an early riser and would be seriously starving and on the edge by 10.30 if I hadn’t eaten anything at all by then. My pil eat more around 10 ish, but I know I can help myself to breakfast earlier there without issue.

I'm nearly forty, and the idea of being with a 27 year old gives me the creeps. The power dynamic would be so much in my favour.
But if you're determined to stick with it, then I would say it really doesn't matter what his mother is like, it's how he handles her that matters. I say bring up the comment about the waiting around as that's the worst bit and is a fact (rather than your perception) and see what he says. If he says, "wow I can see how that would make you feel. I'll have a word with her," then all good. He's prepared to take her on if she's rude. But if he says, "ah well, that's just how she is," or something like "I know, but I don't want to upset her by saying anything," then I think get out whilst you can.

You’re too young to be saddled with this nonsense.
She sounds false and calculating.

Neither of these things are great, but they're not "go no contact" territory either. Many people find their MIL annoying for one reason or another - you have to just suck it up really.

A lot of the time people aren't how they seem. You now know she's not all sweetness and light.

The deep voice is a little bit scary

'I'm 27 and he's 40'

Ltb and get yourself to the club girl xx

Sounds just like a normal mother in law. Although I wish my MIL had shown her nasty side earlier in the relationship and I might have made different choices. I can tolerate it now I’m a bit older and don’t give a fuck about her opinions.