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Original poster

Something strange about mother in law

116 replies

ThatSparklyPearlShark · 20/05/2025 16:54

Hi everyone,

I had no idea who to voice this to so thought this would be the best option. Basically myself and my partner have been together for one year next week. I’m 27 and he’s 40 and we have a wonderful relationship. He is very close to his mother she’s 72. All of his family adore his mother and constantly say how lovely she is. I agree she is nice but a couple of things have happened that have made me feel a little uneasy and I want to know if I’m overreacting.

for example the weekend just gone she came to stay with us. We treated her all weekend to meals shopping etc and she seemed to have a great time. On Sunday she said she’d planned to leave at 4pm. On Sunday morning I suggested we go to the coffee shop for some breakfast at 10:30 am , anyway so myself and my partner were getting ready and it must’ve been about 10:25 when I got to the kitchen ( we live in a bungalow) and just before I got to the kitchen I heard her say ‘ for f sake hurry the f up all f’ing weekend of waiting around’ in a really annoyed and different voice - she usually sounds really sweet and has a light voice but this was deep and snappy. I came through to the kitchen and she instantly switched to her ‘sweet’ voice. I was just a bit startled ? Like wth ! She wasn’t waiting around at all we were so attentive to her all weekend and did everything she wanted there was no waiting around.

another thing she often does is go on and on about how thin and beautiful her daughter is in front of me when my partners not around . She’ll say things like (insert daughter’s name) ’ is so skinny anything looks good on her because she has that kind of figure. She mentions how beautiful and thin her daughter is every time without fail. It wouldn’t even cross my mind to bother me if it was mentioned once but it’s EVERY SINGLE TIME we see her it’s so strange.

I just feel a bit uneasy around her . I haven’t voiced this to my partner as I don’t want to upset him as he loves his mum so much. I don’t plan on telling him either I just wanted to voice my experience.

am I overeacting ? Or is she just a normal mother in law?

thanks

xx

OP posts:
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Calliopespa · 21/05/2025 14:17

OSU · 21/05/2025 13:00

Perhaps she’s possessed? 😁

Or a psychopath who dresses up as an old lady 👵 so she can murder people unsuspected, and has concocted a lie that she has a dd with a perfect figure so she can taunt people about theirs. Or was just dying for her breakfast by 10:30 am

sueelleker · 21/05/2025 13:54

Thank you.

OSU · 21/05/2025 13:00

Perhaps she’s possessed? 😁

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 21/05/2025 12:38

sueelleker · 21/05/2025 11:44

Nothing wrong with that. I married at 21, and my DH was 32. Had 47 years before I lost him.

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sorry for your loss xx

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 12:35

Ooo I knew a woman like this once! I was working in a care home and there was this lovely sweet old lady - I was in her room with her one day and we were chatting - I turned to put something in the drawers and I heard her say “I fucking hate you and I’m going to kill you”. I turned around and she was staring daggers at me!! I said “sorry??” And she changed the subject and went back to being all cute and lovable again. It was like something from a horror film!

I mentioned it to the other staff and one said she thought she’d heard her say “you fucking bitch” to her a few days earlier but when she turned around the lady was sat smiling all sweetly so she assumed she was hearing things! 😂

queenMab99 · 21/05/2025 12:30

Does she live on her own? If so she may have developed a habit of talking to herself, and swearing as sort of release of tension.(don't ask me how I know😆my dog hears some bad words occasionally)

WartFace · 21/05/2025 12:29

A possibly unpopular take: I think the OP should respect her intuition and just be a little wary of this lady.

Calliopespa · 21/05/2025 12:18

Margot2020 · 21/05/2025 11:42

Maybe your misuse of the reflexive pronoun “myself” is driving her to the dark side?

That’s quite harsh and I’m normally a bit down on posters critiquing grammar or spelling BUT in this case op I guess it makes a useful point that we all have our quirks and things people notice about us without everyone needing to be “ strange.” There will things about you that drive some people nuts just as you don’t like her mentioning her DD’s figure.

Westfacing · 21/05/2025 11:54

Margot2020 · 21/05/2025 11:42

Maybe your misuse of the reflexive pronoun “myself” is driving her to the dark side?

The sweet old dear just couldn't bear it any longer and had to let rip in the kitchen Grin

I'm on team MIL

sueelleker · 21/05/2025 11:44

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 20/05/2025 17:00

'I'm 27 and he's 40'

Ltb and get yourself to the club girl xx

Nothing wrong with that. I married at 21, and my DH was 32. Had 47 years before I lost him.

Margot2020 · 21/05/2025 11:42

Maybe your misuse of the reflexive pronoun “myself” is driving her to the dark side?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/05/2025 11:31

These issues rarely or never exist between Son'IL towards their MIL or FIL nor do they have an issue with their own mother until they meet a new partner who does not like her.

My Dbro wife is amazing, she was lovely to mam, even though she knew DM idolised Dbro. He was her favourite child.

Auroraloves · 21/05/2025 11:21

PointsSouth · 21/05/2025 11:01

@Spacehop ’s point of view is that your point of view is absurd - not that you are absurd.

But in any case…er…as you say yourself, don’t tell people they shouldn’t speak their point of view.

Are you tryiing to shut down the entire internet?

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im sorry you have the impression that I dont want to hear other peoples point of view, I was speaking from my own perspective with my mother in law.

Hope that helps. And no, it would be very difficult to shut down the entire internet 😂😂 although shutting down fake conspiracy theories on the web would help me immensely

Reallyoldperson · 21/05/2025 11:17

My brother was 43 and my sister in law was 29. They’ve been married now for 32 years, hardly creepy.

Calliopespa · 21/05/2025 11:13

EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/05/2025 11:12

You're over thinking things, a lot of women assume the partners mother is portrayed as Queen B and they set about showing their partner how wrong they are, push mother off the pedestal.
Sometimes with good reason and other times it is a judgemental vendetta.
You're a bit early in the relationship for this war.

Totally

EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/05/2025 11:12

You're over thinking things, a lot of women assume the partners mother is portrayed as Queen B and they set about showing their partner how wrong they are, push mother off the pedestal.
Sometimes with good reason and other times it is a judgemental vendetta.
You're a bit early in the relationship for this war.

Ohnonotagainmrswebster · 21/05/2025 11:04

I think you mean your partner’s mother. She’s not your mother in law.

PointsSouth · 21/05/2025 11:01

Auroraloves · 20/05/2025 20:27

IN MY EXPERIENCE,this is what mother in laws are like.

don’t tell people they’re absurd for speaking their point of view

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@Spacehop ’s point of view is that your point of view is absurd - not that you are absurd.

But in any case…er…as you say yourself, don’t tell people they shouldn’t speak their point of view.

Are you tryiing to shut down the entire internet?

nonmerci99 · 21/05/2025 11:00

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 20/05/2025 17:00

'I'm 27 and he's 40'

Ltb and get yourself to the club girl xx

Exactly this 😂

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 21/05/2025 10:59

Maybe she normally has breakfast at 8am? I'd be fed up too if I had to wait until 10.30. Weekends aren't a lot different from the rest of the week once you're retired .

Calliopespa · 21/05/2025 10:55

Why is saying her dd wears clothes well such a travesty. ( I mean I kind of hope my mum says it about me if I’m honest!) 🤣

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/05/2025 10:50

Just be on your guard. She’s no sweet old lady, that’s for sure, and it sounds like he will believe her over you every time. Make sure you stand up for yourself and if her guard slips when the two of you are alone, yours can too! Dont take any shit just do it with a sweet smile when in front of others.
PS a better plan is to get TF out now. He’s too old, she’s batshit and will likely make your life a potential misery. Don’t suppose you will listen though..

RaininSummer · 21/05/2025 10:48

The repetition of the skinny daughter thing does make me think of dementia actually. My mum wheels out the same phrases on a loop.

Calliopespa · 21/05/2025 10:48

Westfacing · 21/05/2025 10:01

Being 72 doesn't make her a little meek old lady.

Joanna Lumley is in her late 70s and by all accounts a sweet kind family woman - I bet we'd all find it funny and not demonic if she dropped a few f*ucks in the kitchen!

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And I bet she probably does. Love her!

2JFDIYOLO · 21/05/2025 10:42

He's too old for you.

She has shown you who she is.

She will be a nightmare for potentially 20 years.

And he'll be on her side.

Anyway.

Learn to stand up for yourself.

Tell her you get the message, and you (and her son!!) are perfectly happy with your figure just as it is.

'I don't know if you've realised but you've said that before ... we've noticed you're starting to repeat yourself, and that can be cause for concern ... is everything ok?' Kind, concerned, head tilted, talking to The Elderly tone of voice.

It's going to be hard. But you need to take action. Because if you don't stamp on this behaviour NOW - it will become your life. And you'll be back here about her interfering in your lives, your children, your home ...