To make my daughter do ballet

You can’t live vicariously through your children.

I'm actually with you. Often the real pleasure of hobbies is found once you become good at them. Until then, it can be a bit of slog. But it's ultimately worth it. Not only will you develop all the benefits from ballet, but the lessons of sticking with something, perseverance... How about finding other ways to encourage her to do it: a mum/daughter ice cream after, read books and watch films about it, take her to watch a ballet show, join an adult class at the studio (?!)... I'm sure you can think of something better.

Grade 1 at age 5 is very good! Are you sure it was grade 1 and not exam 1 (ie Pre Primary)? If it was Grade 1 I'd definitely be keen for her to keep it going till she's old enough to really know what she wants to commit her time to.

I did ballet, tap and modern but asked to stop ballet when I was age 12. My mum didn't care either way. I wish she'd said no because I adore tap and jazz dancing and still do a lot of both aged 40. But my grounding technique is very weak because I stopped ballet and ballet is the basis of dance training.

If she enjoys the other styles then yes, I would 'make' her continue ballet for now (within reason of course, I wouldn't force her if distressed). If she doesn't enjoy dance at all, I'd stop all 3 classes and look for a different hobby.

The only activity I think children should have to do is learn to swim - for safety. They other one I would encourage is learning the piano as it is so helpful in so many ways IMO. Anything else I would just be led by them. Let her give up, she can always go back later if she wants to.

If you like the idea of learning a new skill that you gave up as a child then i think you should go for it if at all possible - don't blame your mum for not forcing you to do something you didn't want to when you were a kid though! Do it now.

Or do you still not want to have to put the effort in?

For those thinking she’s doing 3 separate classes, I’d assume she is doing 3 types of dance in one class. That’s what my daughter has always done - even though the class is only 50 minutes.

But yes, let her give up once the term is finished. Kids should try as many things as they can and then they can stick with what they love, not just the first thing they started.

Why not let her choose a nice healthy sport, which won't ruin her feet and push her to pursue unhealthy eating habits, if she sticks with it past puberty? (Can you tell how glad I am that my mum let me give up ballet?)
If she does a fun team sport instead, she will still build strength and social skills, but she'll be also be learning something that she can join-in at club level any-time any-where, pretty much for the rest of her life. It's a fast-track to making friends at any age. There's not a lot of call for amateur middle aged ballerinas, even in village panto.

It’s supposed to be flipping fun! We binned it off at around 5 as the strictness about hair and weird attitudes were off putting and dd wasn’t bothered. She went back to it at 10 and had an enjoyable few years and got to grade 4 (scraped by 1 mark!). But crucially she chose it and enjoyed it when she was old enough to make her own decisions.

Three different dance classes is an awful lot for a five year old. Ideally she should have the opportunity to do a range of different activities to develop different skills until she's found what she likes.

Is she doing anything other than dance? Swimming? Martial arts? Music?

Just stop. She’s five, too young for ballet anyway. My DD is a professional and didn’t even have her first lesson before she was eight.

She's 5!! Poor kid, weekends should be spent having fun - and yes having a rest after a busy week of school.
DD4 attended mini ballet and I was so relieved when she didn't want to go anymore because it was full of pushy dance mam's waiting to create perfect little ballerinas and most of the kids looked totally miserable.
She now does swimming and Karate (DS7 goes) and having so much fun, and it's a lovely supportive group of parents. She's on the waiting list for Rainbows too.

Try a less formal class or give her the choice of activities.

If you want to do ballet then find an adult class.

Deformed ballet dancers feet! Definitely let her stop, why would you want to hurt your child?

If she does tap and modern then you are covered for all of the things that you think they will help with. I would get her to carry on for a few weeks, but give it an end/check in point when she can decide to stop. That way it's not stopping for a tiring week or end of term.

Occasionally DD doesn't want to go to dance, but she wants to do the show or do the exam that's coming up so she carries on through the wobbles. If it was more than a couple of weeks of not wanting to go then we would stop. There are plenty of other activities to try.

I would encourage my child to finish an activity at the end of term rather than in the middle.

If they decide then they don't want to go back then that's fine.

Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like

Yes, sometimes we have to do things we don’t like because they are necessary, so we have to put up with them and it makes us miserable. So why add to that by doing stuff we don’t like even when it’s not necessary? Why make life shitter than it already is?

A small child constantly has to do things it doesn’t like, at school and at home. They get very few chances to decide what they want to do, really. Seems utterly joyless and unpleasant, to me, to make them do a hobby they don’t want to do.

I doubt you would miserably spend your supposed leisure time doing a hobby you dislike, so why inflict that on a five-year-old?

She’s 5. Let her do what she enjoys and stop projecting your own regrets on to her.

Just let her give up. Ballet is boring at that age. If you want her to dance there are a lot of other types. Let her try things out until she finds what she is passionate about.

I still remember hiding under the table and being dragged out and hit because I didn’t want to go (my mum was a frustrated dancer).

You aren’t parenting a clone of yourself - find what your daughter likes and wants to do.
I hated ballet, DD still does it at 16. I loved drama DD very much dance.

Find what she loves not what you would have wished you had stayed doing

and maybe see if you can find an adult ballet class

We don't quit at the drop of a hat here and when you've made a commitment to something, you do it.

So end of term and then she can quit.

Sometimes we have to do things we don't like.

I would let her do something else. My daughter did ballet and didn't like it so then tried hip hop dancing and decided to give it as well as she wasn't enjoying it or getting much out of it.

We signed her up to ice skating on a whim not expecting much but she has really taken to it and is at Grade 5 now.

I don't agree with forcing children to do activities they don't like. I think they should try lots of different activities until they find something they like and give each activity a reasonable chance.

Don’t push her at 5. If she wants to do it, she’ll go back to it. DS (7) has a love hate relationship with football. He’s paid up to the end of the season so I’ve encouraged him to go back on the days he wants to and when he has gone he’s enjoyed it. I doubt he’ll go back next season but if I’d forced him to finish every session this season he’d be very sour. Not worth it. They have to enjoy it. She might prefer something else.

Stop. Find something she really enjoys doing. My daughter though ballet was boring AF. She has stuck with other things as she enjoys them.

Children often put a toe in the water of various activities before they hit on what is right for them. They do not think in terms of the fees that have been paid!

But her reaction is a bit extreme - has something happened there that you do not know about?

An HOUR of ballet at 5? Seems a bit much. Most 5 yo are doing 25-30 minutes.

Is she only allowed to do dance based activities?

Martial arts is also great for discipline, confidence and balance. So is gymnastics.