My partner’s son’s girlfriend stays Fri-Sun every weekend - I’d like a weekend on our own

@ThatKindStork

What was the future plan for you and DP? Were you working towards marriage or selling up and buying a house together?

Is it progressing or have you moved in and progress stopped?

What are your plans now?

which sends him straight to the dump zone for any woman with any self respect. Who would live with anyone who says it’s my house so you get no say in other randoms living here every weekend? Op needs to leave (& NOT come back to look after a dog)

It may be your home, but it's his house
just like it is his son's home but still his dad's house

so sadly dad's decisions are the ones that count

why did his work matter more than yours ?

or do you no longer work ?

He’d probably say in that scenario it’d be disrespectful because it would be our home, whereas this house is mine and both you and my son girlfriend are guests

So what does the son eat? And what does he contribute towards the hosuehold's expenses?

From what you've said, it sounds like you're paying half of these costs, and probably doing a lot more cooking/ cleaning/ shopping etc than you did when you lived by yourself.
Who do the dogs belong to?

I don't understand why you still want to be with this man. Your life would surely be much sweeter if you went back to your house. Leave him alone to be a crappy and dsyfunctional parent. Spend more time with your own friends and relatives. Find a new partner...

Seriously, how much notice do you have to give your tenants before you can move back in? (this won't be as long as it would to replace them with other tenants; if you're going to live in the house yourself it's much easier to regain possession)

I doubt the son and his girlfriend care, and so it would be pointless

I also bet if it was a 18 year old daughter rather than son then dad would deffo not be happy!

If you go to the original post and click on See All you will see all of the OP's posts and your questions will be answered

Who owns and funds the home?

Also ask your partner how he'd feel if you had a friend in the house every weekend that he didn't know, without checking with him how he felt about it. I'm sure he'd object or expect you to run it by him first

When I was that age I had to ask my parents each time by bf stayed as it's their home - they usually said yes, but it was the principle that they didn't want someone coming and going without them knowing to expect a guess

At first I thought maybe you’re being unreasonable, moved in with your new boyfriend and his son and expected them to change how they are and his parenting to fit your preferred lifestyle.

But after reading your responses, you’ve been together years and moved in for 2. Adding about his non existent parenting and not pulling his weight in your relationship, I’d say you are definitely not being unreasonable.

My friend was in your position where her partner just wouldn’t parent his daughter, let her get away with everything and moaned at my friend if she ever brought anything up that she was unhappy with.

Something gives me off vibes about a man who’s happy to let his teenage son bring a (assuming teenager as well) girl back and clearly having sex very loudly in the house multiple days a week. Then moans if you mention anything, I think I’d leave x

That’s just rude.
My daughter is 18 and her boyfriend is here reasonably often. He will always say hello, goodbye, make polite conversation. If they cook together in the kitchen, then that’s by agreement and they’ll work around us. Otherwise we’ll all eat together, having a family meal at the table. When they are in her room, we don’t hear a peep out of them. The same applies when she goes to his house.
He may still go travelling, as teenage relationships often don’t last long. Didn’t you say he has had 4 girlfriends already at 18?

My response would be as follows:
“DP, DOs DS and girlfriend, I’m sick of listening to you shagging every weekend. I’ll be moving out as soon as I’ve found my own place”

Definitely move out!

You need to ask him if he's going to be a parent, or a wet rag?
because if nothing changes you will be leaving, with your furniture & he will be paying 100% not 50%.
The son will ultimately leave at some point & then your P will be on his big fat lonesome.
You loved him, but he has to show you that you matter by putting some rules in place.
It cannot be that to hard to say.
"Derrek you are living under my roof, & I don't want Doris here every single week end. You are going to have to go to hers, or your Mum's, or have the odd night alone, because I want some quality time with Thatkindstork."

You're not on the same page about this.

There is no way my DH would want sons doing this (some people may think he's a tad 'old fashioned' in this regard, but I'd rather this than random girls in the house constantly).

They obviously don't see it as a joint house with you and your partner having an equal footing. Move out.