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My partner’s son’s girlfriend stays Fri-Sun every weekend - I’d like a weekend on our own

257 replies

ThatKindStork · 20/05/2025 16:09

Sorry, long first post!!
My partner’s son has a new girlfriend. Within 3 dates, he’d brought her home to stay the weekend and she’s been staying every weekend since then (4 weekends on the trot), Fri-Sun. He doesn’t even ask his dad if she can stay, he just brings her home.
This isn’t his first girlfriend, this is his fourth and he’s only just turned 18. The first GF used to stay for weeks on end which used to cause issues.
I’ve asked my partner to have a word with his son to say she can’t stay every weekend as I want us to have some time together, but also because my partner works every other weekend so we only get 2 weekends out of 4 to do anything.
My OH always gets defensive, says it’s his son’s home too (I live with him) and “do I want him to kick him out”, “where is he going to go”. (his girlfriend’s/his mum’s?) which is absolutely not what I’m asking. When I say it’s supposedly my home too, he just gets worse.
The OH basically lets his son rule the house and there are no boundaries. He also does ridiculous things for him like folding his washing up, yet leaves all our stuff for me to sort out.
The fact that we can hear them having sex after he told them to be discreet, shows the son has absolutely no respect for us.
Am I being unreasonable asking for weekends without them staying? I don’t think I am but my OH doesn’t get what the issue is. He even said to me when I told him I could hear them having sec above my head that “it wouldn’t bother me, I’d have just turned my music up”?!
I feel like I’m invisible in the household 😓

OP posts:
Sailorstripe · 20/05/2025 16:23

Why can’t you do anything if she’s there? If he’s 18 presumably you don’t do all your activities with him?

HedgehogOnTheBike · 20/05/2025 16:20

Just move out. It's their house.
Then your DP can visit you at your quieter home.

ForAquaMember · 20/05/2025 16:19

Also sorry want to know how long you and partner have been together too!

BigDahliaFan · 20/05/2025 16:18

If you aren't on the same page about this and your partner isn't going to be supportive then you are effectively making him choose. That isn't going to end well. And it's not just the girlfriend is it? There's other stuff you don't like.

No you aren't being heard but .... that might mean that it's not the right environment for you.

We had a similar problem but my DH was on a similar (not the same) wavelength to me. In retrospect I wish I hadn't banged on about it so much and had found a way of talking to everyone involved and also taken myself off for the odd weekend on my own...

BernardButlersBra · 20/05/2025 16:17

ForAquaMember · 20/05/2025 16:14

Have you moved in with your boyfriend and his son in a place he owns himself? Do you pay towards bills / rent etc

I need this info to make my judgement haha

I would be intrigued to know this as well. It sounds like the son rules the roost and this wouldn’t work for me. I don’t want a house full of randoms every weekend, l want to relax

ForAquaMember · 20/05/2025 16:14

Have you moved in with your boyfriend and his son in a place he owns himself? Do you pay towards bills / rent etc

I need this info to make my judgement haha

Ilovelurchers · 20/05/2025 16:14

I actually think you are a bit, yeah. If I am lucky enough that my daughter decides to live with me once she has turned 18, I'll be happy for her to bring partners back as much as she wants, just as I would consider it to be my right to. Obviously everyone should behave respectfully in the shared spaces, no shagging in the lounge etc.

Out of interest, were your partner and his son living in the house first and you moved in to it? Or have they moved in to somewhere you were living?

If your partner moved you in to his son's hom permanently, not sure he can object to his son just bringing someon into it for weekends. (And sounds like he doesn't).

How does her presence stop you spending time with your partner on the weekends he is free?

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