Double barrelling surnames?

I double barreled my name when I got married. So if my maiden name was Smith and dh name was Jones.
im legally Annie smith- jones however I use only Jones day to day and in work. It’s just easier for our family to be know as the Jones’.
when we had dc, they took both our names but use my maiden name as a middle name so Amelia Smith Jones (no hyphen).

I never really thought about it until someone said that she will never lose the middle name but might lose her surname if she marries (and chooses too) so she’ll always be a Smith!

Have you heard of Spain, Portugal and Latin America?

I have a double-barrel surname and I hate it. Learning to spell it as a kid, the length of it on form, spelling it out over the phone.

never makes sense to me when adults say they’ve done it as a formality and it’s fine, course it is, they’re rarely using it on a day to day basis. It’s the monstrosity you land your kids with that’s the issue.

dyslexic with a 19 letter surname. What an absolute pig.

DH and I kept our last names and DC have double barrelled last names. Seems the easiest and fairest option to me.

What will they do if they marry someone else with a double barrelled name? Well, that's up to them. It's a bit of a silly argument, especially considering the fact that 1. They may not even get married and 2. If they do, who says they would even marry someone else with a double barrelled name?

I haven’t done this personally. I changed my name to dh’s when I got married as wanted to get rid of deadbeat dad’s surname too. 17 years on, I’m very happy I did. I like having the same surname as Dh and my dc. I don’t care whose name it is. It’s my name now.

Anyway, the reason I didn’t want to double barrel our names was because I didn’t want to lump my children with complicated surname issues. It was my issue to sort out. And double barrelling just kicks the problem down a generation, so you have to be a Johnson-Smith-Jones or you have to change your name or not include a partners. And then what about the next generation? I felt like I was the one who wanted to share a surname with my children, as did Dh, so we had to decide between us what one name to use.

That said, I’ve had several friends who have blended their names to make a new surname and I’d be much more inclined to do that. You then have a family name for your family unit and no one ends up a Winston-Johnson-Jones-Smith down the line.

I am in the midst of a divorce and really with I'd double barrled the kids. We have their father's name, and if I change my name back to my maiden name I'll be different to them. It can be problematic taking them through airports etc, so I'm sticking with my ex's. It's shit though, I never once thought we'd be separating, but there you go

“Someone always brings up the “what happens if two double barrelled people have kids” “conundrum” in this discussion. The answer is, who gives a shit? My child can choose - we don’t have some starry family name to carry forwards so he can change it to muffin sprinkles for all I care.”

I agree!
1: In Spain they’ve managed this perfectly for centuries!
2: The children can choose.

Interestingly, my now adult DD does not have children yet…. But she and her boyfriend have registered their cats at the vet with two surnames- she picked her first surname ( mine!) and the boyfriend’s surname. No problem.

Yes, I came here to suggest this. Everyone gets a brand new name.

If your kids have a double barrelled name, their future school teachers will just assume the parents are unmarried

The horror!

I kept my surname, my husband kept his, our child is double barrelled. The only problem we’ve had is from my husband’s family members claiming they can’t remember our child’s surname because it’s “too complicated”. This is total rubbish as they are intelligent people so I conclude just aren’t making the effort. As a result we send cards and gifts to them with completely random names on them because it’s really very complicated to remember such a range of names.

Someone always brings up the “what happens if two double barrelled people have kids” “conundrum” in this discussion. The answer is, who gives a shit? My child can choose - we don’t have some starry family name to carry forwards so he can change it to muffin sprinkles for all I care.

But if at work and socially you are not the same name as them then that’s an issue?

• or Jones Smith !

To be honest, either is fine so

Option1
Father keeps Smith
Mother keeps Jones
children Smith Jones

Option 2
Both parents become Smith Jones as well as the children.

I did option 1. I know people who did 2. I think both are fine.

We have never had any issues at all, other than older people writing Christmas cards who will use DHs name.

My personal view is not to hyphenate and just have both names. But don’t think that matters either.

What you are proposing works fine, and you can refer to yourself as whatever you want so long as you use your legally correct name in the appropriate circumstances.

However… I just never see the point of double barreling surnames for children. Your future children will be Smith-Jones. What if their surname is equally important to them as your’s is to you? Then when they get married their children will become the Smith-Jones-Brown. And so on. One name is always easier. Double barrel yourselves to reflect the marriage if you want but pick one for the children.

ive been double barrelled for years, we both kept our own names and tagged on a new name we came up with for the second part, I alternate between maiden, married or the full name, it’s never an issue, people get weird about double barrelled surnames on mumsnet but in real life I have had no issues

I'm a teacher and I certainly don't think this.

Keep your name, give any children your name, job done. If your DH really wants the same name then change both to something completely different (but not double-barrelled).

Otherwise what do your children with double -barrelled names do when they get married? It could go on and on ...

Oh I see your proposal is not to keep your name but add DHs on and vice versa. I think that’s fine too. I do know someone who has done it that way.

As someone with three adult children with double barrelled names, they have no problems whatsoever and are rather proud of being the only people with their specific surname.

Just asked the 26 year old and he said no, never caused any inconvenience, is perfectly aware of the hyphen, and none of his mates have had problems either.

I think it’s your DH who is out of step - lots of families here are double barrelled with the parents keeping their own surnames and no one bats an eye.

All prefer their full names to just using one part.

I think your proposal of both keeping your surnames and using both for the children works fine. That’s what we did. I kept my surname , DH kept his and the children have both (no hyphen).

It mystifies me why so many women change their names today, unless they’ve a negative association with their given surname.

In Spain and other Spanish-speaking countries doesn’t traditionally everyone keep both parents surnames? In the past the father's surname was traditionally listed first but now parents can now choose the order. The children inherit their father's first surname and their mother's first surname.

I’m with your mum, I think it’s a bit stupid (sorry). I don’t see anything wrong with taking DH’s name, I think probably at least 95% of the married couples I know have done it the ‘traditional’ way and it’s not remotely regressive. Keep your surname as an extra middle name if it has meaning to you?

If your kids have a double barrelled name, their future school teachers will just assume the parents are unmarried - every other child has a double barrelled surname these days around here for this reason. The fact that you and DH have the same name will be buried in documentation no one ever looks at!

I have double-barelled my surname after getting married but my husband hasn't changed his name. Unsure what surname we'd give any future children. But day to day, I still use my maiden name. At work I do have the double-barelled name but I always introduce myself as my maiden name. Sometimes I do mix it up and use my married name which causes much amusement to my husband when we turn up to bookings and I have no idea what name I used! My dad died just before my wedding and our family name would have died with me so I'm very attached to it!

As someone who’s partner is a double barrell name since birth, don’t do it. He hates it. It causes so much confusion and at age 29 isn’t sure if he’s a hyphen or not.

We are not married yet but when our son was born the first part of his surname only as it’s such a pain.

At work he only goes by the first part of his surname and when we are out it’s only the first part.