Double barrelling surnames?

Surely that’s a ridiculous question. It’s akin to saying do you think it is stupid for someone in the UK to name their child using the Cyrillic alphabet because it is normal in certain other countries.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ oh dear...

I don't think you've understood me.
My point was that Spain (and South America, and undoubtedly other countries) always have double barrelled names. I wondered whether you thought whole nationalities who follow the double barrelled naming convention were stupid.

I know…it’s ludicrous

Use a first name to reflect one country of origin and a surname to reflect the other.

I doubt you would select a double barrelled first name to reflect both backgrounds so why for a surname?

Personally, we went for each keeping our surnames and non hyphenated double barrelled surnames for the kids.

So I'm Mrs Smith. He's Mr Jones, kids are FirstName Smith Jones. Since not hyphenated and my maiden name is also used at a first/middle name many people assume my surname is a middle name but legally it's there and DC know that. Never expressed a problem with it.

Not to be totally pedantic but I thought the marriage certificate would have to have your birth name as it's a legal document and has to reflect what your name is at the actual time? Your name doesn't automatically change upon marriage, you have to do it. So how can you be legally your married name on the marriage certificate?

Married 25 years. Always kept own name as did husband. 2 kids, both have double barrel. Told them they could drop one (of their choice) when they went to secondary school but so far they have both chosen not to.

Of course they won't have triple and quadruple barrelled names as the generations go on. You just drop one and add one (or not) as the Spanish custom goes or pick something different. There is no law in the UK, you can call yourself what you like. Hurrah!

I haven't really bothered changing mine properly after getting married.
I still use Meggie Smith for everything, but on our marriage certificate, I am technically Meggie Jones.
If I ever bother to change or the time comes when we have kids, I'll probably go with Meggie Smith Jones.

I much prefer your system to choosing the name which just seems nicest/easiest to spell/goes best with first names (and is almost inevitably the man's!)

I live in Belgium and before 2014 all children got the father's last name if their parents were married or the father declared the child as theirs. Women do not lose their maiden name so all official documents (ID card, passport, driving licence, bank, medical etc[ are in said maiden name. When I got married, I called myself Mme dh last name but all documents were Mme my maiden name. That wasn't too bad but when ds1 was in his 20s, he decided (unofficially[ to double barrel our two names on social media. dd decided to do the same so I followed suit, even changing my passport as I realised that my passport was the only document in dh last name and I might need to show my passport as proof of identity plus one other.

This has led to so much confusion though. Old friends and family still use dh last name, work and everything official use my maiden name and on social media, in my passport and in my volunteer job I'm known as Mme/Ms double barrel name. I know it's my own fault but I'm regretting some of these decisions now!

I think the baby should have their mother’s name but hyponated is fine too

I was given a male middle name. No idea why it's not a family name.

Yes this!!! Every time this comes up, there's always someone bellowing on about how they think double barrelled names are ridiculous. And then some other posters "cleverly" bleating on "but then do the kids have 4 surnames etc etc" as if it's some kind of gotcha! Nope, you just seem ignorant. Which is fine, it's ok not to know things. But less fine to be really nasty about someone's name. Or indeed an entire cultures naming system!

Hyphenate the children. You and dp keep your own names. We’ve done this for nearly 30 years now-it’s never been the slightest problem.

We knew that

1. we wanted to keep our names
2. we felt like double-barreling just forces the next generation to choose a name to drop
3. we wanted something that our child(ren) could choose to replicate if they wanted, but were certainly not obligated to do so

we thought about flipping a coin. Instead we decided that girls would get my surname and boys would get his. We might have ended up with siblings with different surnames. The “loser” got more say over the middle name.

DH was desperately hoping for girls so he was signing on for my surname if his wishes came true. we ended up having one child, a dd with my surname and a middle name used by every male on Dh’s side for more generations than we can track. It ended up feeling to both of us like an extra little ding to the patriarchy.

dd definitely plans on keeping her surname through life.

I'm always surprised by how many people aren't embarrassed to show their whole arse on this topic.

Invariably, the discussion sees posters who are concerned about being seen as a particular social class, but meanwhile happily flaunt their lack of knowledge about naming customs in one of the world's most widely spoken languages, and inability to read a thread. Very.... unsophisticated.

Of course it is. Why would we choose one name knowing one person would always be unhappy when we can use both names and everyone is happy?

Because it can be a pain in official situations and you can get held up in airports if dc have different names on their passports.

Anything to do with names seems an opportunity for some form of snobbery.

Nothing wrong with double barrelled names and no stigma to being born out of wedlock either. Double barrelled surnames is part of my ancestoral heritage where it was quite common for a lot of families to double barrel and not considered odd at all..

It could be any variation of that, or they might do what a cousin did and take a totally different surname.
I'm me-him, DC has me-him but uses my surname only. DH is just his surname.

I had my mums maiden name and it really upset me as all my friends either had their dad's name/mum's married name. It was why I took my DH name so we could all be the same. It was v important to me - more important than keeping my maiden name.

What on earth is "a sensible choice between two names" ? Unless one of the names is clearly ridiculous, choosing between two average names is a subjective matter. It goes down to who is most assertive and on external pressure put on both parent.

If the parents' names are Smith and Jones, one isn't more "sensible" than the other. If both parents want to use their name, there isn't any middle ground. Unless they agree to a coin toss - which personally I wouldn't as my name is important to me.

Double-barrelling isn't absurd, and parents having to choose which names they pass down isn't any different to the choice they already have to make.

(and before anyone makes assumptions, I have no dogs in that fight, my children only have my name).

@Cloudy718 why is the choice that makes all the people involved happy not the sensible one?