Double barrelling surnames?

Yep have a search on my posts in the thread.

Just curious-has anyone actually said that?

Exactly. The only magic fix claims are from people who wrongly believe not double barrelling magically prevents their DC from needing to make a choice, when the time comes.

Exactly. Why would you throw away the amassed goodwill, recognition etc associated with the name under which you’ve achieved your professional reputation?

Among my oldest DCs' friends, I don't know of any women who have changed their names on marriage. These women are aged 24 to 35/36.

I do know one couple who created a new surname using both of their original surnames.

For women in professional careers, it can be a challenge to maintain a professional reputation using a new surname.

No one has said it's a magic fix.

Everyone has to make a choice no matter what.

Why not just double barrel the children's surnames and keep your own and DH's as is?
The children would have both names and there would be no hopping back and forth for the parents (well, for you mostly).

'Mrs' is not part of your legal identity, fwiw. You could be Ms or Dr or Lady or The Honorable. It is not required thst you adopt the title Mrs when you marry.

They aren't dropping two names, they are choosing what they want to be known as same as if they choose whether or not to take on a partners name if they marry.

I don’t think it’s a magic fix. I just think that my children can choose what they want to do- drop a name. Make up an entirely new name. Take their partner’s name. Whatever they want. Just like I did.

We all know that in some countries they double-barrel surnames by default. That doesn’t change the fact that each generation still has to choose names to drop. It just means they are choosing 2 names to drop instead of 1.

It isn’t the magic fix people make it out to be.

@FeelingSoOverwhelmed it is signed in my original name, yes.
There was a bit on it that we had to complete before hand, about what we were going to be known as going forward. I was (still am tbh!) unsure, but our celebrant was like no you need to put something because it goes on the paperwork

You and DH each keep your own surname, use one surname for all DC and use other surname as a middle name for all DC. No hyphens.
Long-established method in the USA, albeit that DH surname name is the default option and DW surname is the ‘family’ middle name. One of the reasons traditional surnames morphed into first names, apparently.

I know several couples who did this or variations of it: (1) DW surname was unusual and all her generation were female relations , so name ‘died’ with them. DC took her surname.DH kept his (2) DH hated his surname (think one of those ‘bottom’/‘botham’ names), ditched it and took DW surname on marriage as did DC at birth (3)DW kept her birth surname (had been forced to change it as a child by abusive step-parent), DH kept his and children were (Eg) Petunia DW family name DH surname.
None of the parents with different surnames from their DC ever had any issue travelling abroad with them alone btw

Being unmarried didn't mean you couldn't have the same name as your kids.

Oh I totally missed you were double-barelling your kids surname!! Oops. Then definitely don't change your name, keep it as is. It's so much better 🙂 I'm so glad now that I kept my name, because it's mine 😌

Also I must say it’s nice having my own surname as otherwise I’d be ‘Mrs Dh’s surname’ just like his mum, step mum and sisters-in-law - which feels like giving far too much importance to a very generic family and name. I achieved things in my name, not his after all. Having my own identity and giving that to my kids was important hence wanting them to have both but not myself.

DH and I have kept our respective surnames but DC will have a double barrelled combination of both ours. I can’t see any legal issues with that and we’re not fussed about all having the same name as long as DC have a share of both. I’d just carry DC’s birth certificate if we travelled to countries where they might expect the mother to have the same name.

I love my name though did consider double barrelling it but i have property/inheritance in another country which is an admin hellhole and very complicated so I cba. Also I’m divorced once and was very grateful I didn’t double barrel then either or would spend my life in admin changing my surname. Colloquially neighbours call us by my DH’s name as they just assume but I don’t mind as in life in general I’m known by my name. DH has never been fussed either way.

@Shutteredi was only speaking for myself, my birth surname was my sisters dads surname who never brought me up or had any sort of relationship with me. My own dad disappeared when my mum was pregnant. My mum just gave it to me so I’d have the same surname as my sisters, so no I didn’t feel attached to it.

There we have it again, women ‘not being particularly attached’ to their birth surname, while men seem very unlikely to feel similarly, at least not to the extent of discarding it.l.

This is a very strange reaction. I have a double barrelled name, didn't want to change my name upon marriage, so just picked one of the names plus DH names for my kids. So no fretting about not sharing a name, and no kids with 3 surnames!

I use a double barrelled surname at home and so does my wife but we keep the previous names for you work. It causes a bit of hassle because then we have to keep some documents in the single name for ID. If we don't like being known by it socially I don't think we'd bother though. But we like using it personally

I know a few couples who have merged their surnames and double barrelled them when they got married, I think it’s good. Maybe only if the names aren’t really long though lol. I took my husbands name but I wasn’t particularly attached to my maiden name anyway

The other thing you could do is give them your surname as a middle name, I think other cultures do this which I think is quite clever. Changing your name seems really antiquated to me!