To be sad over this or am I overreacting?

I’m sorry you’re upset, it’s really shit not to feel cared for on your birthday.

It sounds like your husband is pretty clear about what he wants for his birthday etc, where as you say things like “I don’t need anything”. I think you just need to be clearer about your expectations. It’s not very romantic but I literally give my husband a list of gifts I would like, tell him I would like a card from the baby, that I would like to go out for dinner and so on.

Stop pretending it doesn't matter to you when it does! Be honest. Say you'd like him to help the children buy or make a card and you'd like a thoughtful gift, it doesn't have to cost a lot.

Have a happy birthday and do something nice for yourself. Get a takeaway for tea and let him do bedtime with the kids while you relax!

I make it perfectly clear that I’m happy not to receive gifts as I would rather we all did something together like lunch out but we always do cards.

my dh always always makes sure when the kids were little that cards were organised above anything else.

you saying don’t worry is sending mixed messages.

next time it’s his birthday say as he doesn’t bother with you that your going to do the same

🎉 Happy Birthday op🎉

He talks about savings and money, but somehow none of that applies when it's his birthday?
Screw that. A tenner for some flowers and chocolates won't make a difference.
Stop saying it doesn't matter when it does, there's no prizes for being a martyr.

"Hi DH. I know when we talked about presents etc. for my birthday previously I said I didn't want anything. On reflection I've realised that actually I do want to celebrate and I would appreciate a card and a gift such as xyz."

Stop making an effort for his birthday and he’ll soon buck up his ideas.

dh never used to make a great effort buying gifts, one Mother’s Day he bought me a box of chocolates(that I don’t even like) from the shop the night before , so I kept them and gave him them back for Father’s Day. His face was a picture!

his present buying has been amazing since the , I now just give him a list of a few things I’d like and he buys something from the list!

Happy birthday lovely. You aren't a brat and you shouldn't have to prompt him to get you at least a card. Not getting one for the kids to give you is unkind and unnecessarily thoughtless. He knows that birthdays involve cards and presents. After all, he gratefully receives the ones you get him. Why does he think you're any different. Personally I couldn't be bothered to prompt my nearest and dearest to remember my birthday. If the thought isn't heartfelt and genuine, then what's the bloody point.

Father's day coming up. You know what to do.

Agreed.

Happy birthday, lovie 🎂
Don't let him guilt you into saying you don't want anything, tell him you want cards at the very least, especially from the children x

He is, but she doesn’t need to accept that ‘prompt’. When he starts blustering about savings, the OP needs to be able to say ‘Nonsense, Nigel. A bouquet of flowers, a bottle of bath oil, plus a couple of cards and trinkets from the children once a year isn’t going to mean we can’t pay the mortgage this month!’

Do the same for his birthday, let him feel it.

Next time, suggest flowers and a card.

He is actively discouraging her from asking for anything.

My husband and I have stopped getting each other gifts and we just treat ourselves to something random that we really want for our own birthdays - we share all our money anyway so it's all the same thing really. We support our children to make each other presents for birthdays and holidays and we usually plan something nice to do together as a family for each other's days (he supported the kids making me afternoon tea for mother's day for example and the kids helped me make his favourite cake and we played some board games for his as he loves that).

I think you saying 'don't bother' is confusing and you should either tell him you want a fuss or stop making a fuss over him.

Don’t tell him not together you anything if you don’t actually mean it. He’s not a mind reader.

Why isn’t the man ‘silly’ for what he is doing? Have you missed the below?

Whenever my birthday approaches my husband always mentions getting me a present but then talks about savings and money,

I think lots of posters are missing the point that this prick is conditioning OP into not asking for anything by complaining about bills and adding to savings.

SAHMs are often financially vulnerable, it’s understandable OP finds it hard to advocate for herself.

OP, do you have full access to all money and savings?

This is silly OP. You said don’t get me anything. My husband would take that very literally.
He wouldn’t understand someone saying that but secretly wanting a present.

send him a list of 3-5 suggestions a few weeks before your birthday each year.

Most men take words at face value. You are telling him one thing when actually you mean the complete opposite. Stop giving mixed messages and tell him exactly what you want.
When you’re all at home this evening, tell them that since your birthday is on a work/school day, you’d like to do something at the weekend to celebrate it instead.
They could do something as simple as making you breakfast together, or buying you some flowers. TELL THEM THIS. BE CLEAR.

And next year, give him notice, but say you want him to organise a card for the kids, and a small gift/bunch of flowers on your actual birthday.

Enough of the playing down what you want, trying to be ‘low maintenance’. Be high maintenance and proud!

In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳 👏🎉🎈

Stop telling him not to get you presents if you want presents!

You need to stop saying it’s fine, because he think you’re not fussed and doesn’t make the effort. It’s crappy of him but if he’s thinking you don’t care, then he won’t care.

Happy birthday! Hope the day gets better!

You have a choice stop being a martyr and tell him what you want. Or stop buying his Father’s Day and birthday presents. Just tell him as he got you nothing and goes on about savings you assume all present buying is off.

Your husband is a prick.

Please stop buying the cunt presents and take your dc out to buy you birthday presents and a a card.

Tell him what you want