Super quick context, for the past 15 years I've lived a fairly isolated life, probably the last 14 have been much worse because I've worked remotely.
I've ttied to socialise and put myself out there but over the years it has never really come to much. If anything what I miss is the talking to someone in person who isn't my DH. For the same reason, I think I've never really assimilated really well, and I've never felt like I belong anywhere.
My only two real friends are back in my birth country and I rarely see them. One of them is visiting me for a week. But honestly I've found that I get way TOO intense and I don't know if it's the concept of having someone around who's not my DH, or actually having someone to talk to.
I can see it's not good, but I don't know how to improve in that sense.
BTW I've learned to live in my "loneliness" I know that people won't necessarily get me, and that what I would want to talk about is not necessarily of their interest, so I'm totally ok with that now. At least I have a mum I talk to on a very regular basis, and she's like my "water cooler" chat.
All I've been telling her is that not having someone to share your ups and downs is kind of sad, and that sometimes you just want to have a good cry with someone, but again I'm kind of used to it by now. What I yearn is day to day interaction, because you'd normally get that from work and I obviously I don't get it. But again realising at least I get that now, I think I'll probably get my "fix " that way.
Sorry I'm rambling and thanks for reading