I think I'm potentially a lost cause

Fundamentally it's going to be very difficult to bond with people that you don't really like.

I’m confused about whether you are currently working or not. Either way - get a job that’s not remote? Then you can talk to people in person about work to your heart’s content. As someone who also has “corporate-ish” job I’m surprised you know exactly what all the other mothers in the class do for a living, and even more surprised that you find it difficult to find common ground to talk about regardless. Being able to do that is usually a skill that’s valued in the corporate world.

And there’s no way I’d have been interested in a mother’s day brunch - Mother’s Day is for family. It wouldn’t have been because I’m not corporate enough for it 🙄

OP are you ND by any chance?

The irony is that I find fellow mothers boring.

You have to evince genuine interest in people as a fundamental to making friends. Everyone is an individual even where you live and if you've written them all off, that's a pretty dislikable core to your character. You don't have to host brunches and pretend to like everyone, but if you don't have a basic respect and curiosity about the people you meet, then yeah, you probably are a lost cause.

I have a high flying corporate job and work full time, often travel abroad and have what people might consider interesting and fulfilling life, definitely a great career and opportunity to interact with lots of different people from various countries. One of the most interesting people around me is a SAHM from my daughter’s school who has never had a job. She is funny, welcoming, has lots of interests and is all around nice person to spend time with.

You need to get over your limited view of the world or of other people. You will not make friendships by only talking about work. The last thing I want to talk about after a busy day at work is…work. I would look inwardly a bit more if I were you and reflect on how you come across to other people. Are they finding you easy to talk to, funny and welcoming? Do they feel safe to talk about what interests them I.e. kids, laundry, walks, daily life, etc? Consider what you bring to the table for other people rather than only your expectations of them.

I think you are progammed to like your own company best of all.
It is normal to only tell your deepest feelings to your spouse or a very close family member or friend.

Friends usually offer chit chat, interesting social pleasures etc without being deeply into your feelings.

Maybe it's a hobby that you would get most benefit from. You could knit, sew or stitch near others and listen to chit chat but achieve something of beauty at the same time.

Be sure to suffer the boredom of arranging regular play dates and social outings for your children. They will learn from seeing you being friendly. They will learn that regular effort contributes to having friends.

Also go out on fun days of exploration with your DH and DCs. Allow the family to enjoy being outside the home environment.

I can see why these 'boring' other mothers swerve you then, if you're looking down on them for not having corporate jobs, being as successful as you, and only want to talk about work, you are boring, and condescending!

Sounds like you need to get some hobbies, do some volunteering, and be a bit more open to making friends with your children's friends' parents. The fact you say you find other mothers 'boring' rather suggests you haven't put much effort into getting to know them and what they enjoy other than raising their children. They were all people with interests prior to having kids - and most mothers don't just become robots when they have children. Granted, there are some for whom motherhood seems to be the be all and end all in life but even those people have other stuff they find interesting - cooking, movies, sports, artistic hobbies, etc etc etc.

You may find you have pre-determined that you can ONLY be friends with people who have had a similar work experience to you. Which is as bad as people who decide they can ONLY be friends with other stay at home mums or people who have never been to uni. You're auto-excluding people without actually knowing them very well.

It makes sense that people you meet who have children and know you have children would view that an easy conversation starter. So do the work and ask them about themselves beyond their kids. There are plenty of ways that conversation can go. There are also plenty of parents who have or have had corporate/professional level careers prior to having kids. Frankly I spent so much time at work (trial lawyer) that I would rather talk about anything else than my career - plus I find other people fascinating so have no issue asking them about themselves and their passions in life.

I'll give you an example: I love scuba diving, skiing, cooking, labradors, boats, cars, various sports, pottery and other creative arts, going to the theatre, music, travelling, loafing around doing absolutely nothing, hats, beach walking, going to London to walk around, and Tom Hardy. None of those things have anything to do with my career (though some of them are certainly facilitated by the money earned from it) and none of them mention my kids. There's loads in their one could talk about. The bucket list of things to try and do in life is even longer - and I assure you that no one puts "work more" and "talk about my kids" on said bucket list. The key is to be open to learning about other people.

If you truly have issues with socialising then go see a therapist/coach.

This, what @Isitameproblem all other mothers are boring?
In what way?
Agree, it's a you problem!

But that was one thing you tried that didn’t get a response. It’s like swiping right on Tinder, not getting any interest, and deciding that’s that.

And I think that you’re limiting yourself needlessly because of your perception that ‘fellow mothers’ are boring unless they also have corporate jobs. I was only one of two non-SAHMs when DS was in Reception, and the other was a medic so I almost never saw her, but I don’t need to only hang out with fellow-academics…

Absolutely agree. Broaden your interest OP, or be more interested in other people. You come across as judgmental and snobby.

Please don't take it as a criticism but you do have high expectations of the level of communication you seem to think is normal. You also seem to expect to be able to talk but you don't mention anything about listening.

Maybe you are very much an extroverted who needs a lot of conversations but ultimately, I don't think it is common for people to have deep conversations on a daily basis. Its also normal for most conversations to be superficial on a day to day basis.

You have your husband your mum and two friends with whom you can be yourself and talk as you like it. That's already a lot.

It does sound that you need a different job where face to face interaction features highly.

A mother's day brunch... on mother's day or another time?

Latitudes - what does that mean?

You are starting to sound snobby. Can you move areas to somewhere you feel suits you?

Making friends is a numbers game. You need to make a LOT of small talk acquaintances before you land on one or two good friends from that batch. Try harder at your youngest's school, it's good timing while she is new to primary school. Go to exercise classes where people chit chat at the start. Try a hobby. Meet friends of friends. Meet former colleagues for coffee.

Just keep meeting everyone and anyone and eventually you'll find your people. It takes time.

No offence but if somebody told me they had a corporate job and tried to tell me about it, I would consider that very boring.
The fact that you only really want to talk about your work is probably the issue here.

Thing is Op… now you don’t have a corporate job. Or indeed any job.

Oh, and you definitely need to get over your lazy, anrrigant attitude to ‘fellow mothers’. You’re a mother. They’re just female people with children, and constitute a significant proportion of the human race. They may also be award-winning research scientists, landscape architects, sculptors, CEOs or forensic archaeologists.

Sorry posted on wrong chat. Please can it be moved

From what you say about yourself, you have had so little interaction with people other than your husband and mother for the past decade and a half that when you do get some, you lurch far too quickly from ‘hello’ into intense oversharing, which is offputting. Telling someone you occasionally socialise with your ‘darkest secrets’ is not endearing. That comes after a certain degree of friendship.

I think you just need practice at being around acquaintances on a regular basis to find a social mode with them. Some may, in time, become friends you can confide in, but you need to give it time. With a five year old at school, lots of opportunities there to encounter new people, find a way of being around them without spilling your guts immediately.

The irony is that I find fellow mothers boring.

bingo!

alongside your other thread I was on, and this gem too… the reason behind your situation is screamingly apparent

it is a you problem

So loads of op now with the 5 year old in forging some relationships, especially if you’re currently looking for work