Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

I'm what you might call very 'discerning' when it comes to certain asthetic matters and I have a reputation for having good taste.

I sometimes dread being asked my opinion on things like this by friends. I'd be the worst person but also the best person to take wedding dress shopping or anything else similar. They ask my advice and say they want help choosing something because they value my opinion, but what people really want is for me to validate their choice so they can feel better about them. They don't actually want me to make the choice for them. Neither do they really want to hear me say anything less than complimentary about something they have already decided they like. So given that I can't lie and pretend something's perfect when it's not, I'd rather not be asked in the first place. 😂

Hope I'm not too late to say that wax seals, dried flowers, any form of whimsy or olde worlde-ness would be the height of gaucherie? grin

I have a sister who I am very close to

My wedding was formal, sit down meal, big dresses, matching everything, the whole nine yards

Her wedding is coming up and will be registry office followed by massive party with different catering vans and just bloody good times for all involved

We support and celebrate each others choices because we are sisters, and have different tastes.

You're being a bit of an arsehole!

You sound insufferable. I have never known anyone ask someone to go furniture shopping because they value their taste. People wish to buy what is to their taste not what some jumped up superior being advises them to

Id tell sis to save her money. Just use her own printer, A4 page and plain white envelopes - job done

I really couldn't have given a hoot about invite design as they get binned anyway

Leave her to it. She needs to have what she likes and feels comfortable with. I'd be telling her gently and constructively if we were wedding dress shopping and she was trying on completely unflattering dresses, but even then only if they were genuinely unflattering on her. She'll have her own ideas of what style or trend she likes and it's not for you or me to tell her she shouldn't have it based on our own preferences.

Perhaps the bright flowery thing is part of the theme and look she is going for. Totally her choice. You don't need to approve of it. If you start with this then what else are you going to find fault with? She'll end up feeling like it's your wedding, not hers.

Exactly.

If you want to suggest fancy google indian wedding invites, they are amazing!

We are just all put together differently and notice different things

Very true, which is why OP needs to let her sis do her own thing re invitations as she has different taste to her and not dismiss them as "shit choices".

I'm another vote for a proper stiffie, good quality card stock with nice simple text. No frou frou pot pourri Pinterest shit. Your sister's choice is fine, it sounds like it embarrasses you though and kindly, that's a Hyacinth Bucket style you problem.

I have a similar relationship with my sister and I am the you, the type A (we do a hobby and she is so slapdash and I am uptight but I don't need to comment on her lack of perfection as she's happy with it). She would tell me if my arse looks bad in something or if I was being a dick and vice versa but this invite business is such a nothing.

As Marie says in When Harry Met Sally 'Everyone thinks they have good taste and a sense of humour but they couldn't possibly all have good taste'. Don't get wrapped up in your own 'good taste'

Urm, I like the border - even more so if the theme of the wedding is bright colours and quite light hearted… wax seals are a bit try hard for me, because who actually does care?! You time on this earth is finite so why waste hours on something people will give no consideration to?!

But I did e-invites for my low stake wedding so we’re clearly coming from different places.

My point is your opinion isn’t right and hers isn’t wrong. Her invitations are just fine if that’s what she wants, you’ve shared your opinion and she doesn’t care.

ETA: Oh, and people like the way I dress and the way I decorate my house, and I’ve since had plenty of positive comments about my wedding - I don’t live in some sort of style void. The pics you’ve shared of the wax seals are nice, but totally unnecessary and not the only option.

Realistically you’d have to say something thing about a Madonna bra.

I’m all for just letting the invitations go.

Some people do remember though.

We are just all put together differently and notice different things.

Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Exactly, I've been to loads over the years and I honestly can't remember a single invitation design 😁
They'll have got bunged on the fridge under a magnet or shoved in a drawer 😂

I’d make a joke out of it. Tell her you need to speak to her. You’ve had sleepless nights and you have to get something off your chest as you have grave concerns about the upcoming wedding. She’ll worry and you then say ‘the invites are fucking gross and look like something Marjory would send to Enid and Joan inviting them to the annual WI garden party.’

When it comes to weddings family and friends should just smile adoringly at everything the bride shows you.

If she’s having champagne out of old bean tins say ‘how genius! How forward thinking and how exquisite’

If she’s wearing 70s orange hot pants with a Madonna bra and a veil made from an antique table cloth tie dyed in lemon and lilac while carrying a bouquet made from camping utensils - gasp at her beauty and reach for that admiring smile…

In other words do what you like on your day and keep your nose out of the brides choices.

You're sounding insufferable so far, sorry.
No wonder she's getting annoyed.
You're wondering if you should sit back and "let" her make shit choices (let?!")
Just because you don't like them doesn't mean they're wrong!
We all have different tastes.
You've said your opinion (fair enough) now step back and sit down and let her do it her way, which is perfectly nice too.

No wedding guest has ever said "Lovely wedding, shame about the invitation design."

This thread has been a revelation to me for the people who unironically describe themselves as ‘Type A personalities’ and think it means their role in life is to prevent other people from exercising their own, less exquisite, taste.

Well, that and the sealing wax place cards.

Does it still give the OP the right to say her sister is making a shit choice because she wants something for her own wedding? Why should she conform to other people’s tastes for her own event?

I really like the border. Really cheerful and happy vibe for me. I love colourful flowers!

I also couldn't describe ANY wedding invitations I've ever received. I know I've thought some looked like they must have taken a lot of time and effort to make but I still don't remember what they actually looked like. Your sister is right - as long as they impart the relevant information clearly, they don't matter.

The way you’ve worded the OP too ‘no word of a lie’, seriously it’s a nice invitation. Making shit choices? Bloody hell that’s drastic.

Even if she sent the invitations on a plain bit of A4 paper written in felt tip would it matter?

OP, you are getting a really hard time here, some posters have been really horrible - it's sad how some people just love to lay into a person given an opportunity.
I agree with you, the flower border one looks more like a kids party invitation and I would expect an expensive wedding to have a more classy invites to go with it. I actually really like the ribbon and wax ones you posted.
I'm like you, really close to my sister and we can tell each other everything, so I know where you are coming from.
Hope everything turns out well with invites and the wedding!

I think it’s worth noting that taste is personal. We all think we have good taste because we all like what we like. Your taste isn’t better than hers, just different. If you planned her wedding you’d plan one that you liked, of course people would complement you- they complement everyone on things like that.

I think going forward you need to remember that you don’t have better design or clothing tastes than her, just different.