Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

Invites are a waste of money. Send me an outlook invite with the schedule and I’ll hit accept or decline. 😂 If you have to send me an invite, have a QR code so I can go online and accept or decline.
It’s not getting pinned on my fridge (that’s integrated), I’m not leaving it up for months like a birthday card, it’s going in the bin.

The wax seals are deeply naff

I mean they’re absolutely disgusting but if she likes it you love it and move on.

her Wedding should reflect her and dp She doesn’t want your help or she would’ve asked. I generally ask my type a friends for help with organising, I have one friend who goes mad for it.

if its slapdash then its slapdash but she won’t notice anyway so it doesn’t matter

Very close to my sister and I turn to her as I think she has really good taste. She is always at pains to say the most important thing is that I like x y or z - although that’s also a sign she would prefer something else!

i think from the way you have described it your relationship sounds like mine - honest and sometimes a bit blunt in the knowledge both of you know it is in good faith and said with a massive dose of love.

that said - I think if she has shown signs she is happy with her choice and doesn’t need your input anymore then best to leave it and support her choice. It’s not a hill to die on and if this becomes a “thing” it could derail the joy of planning stuff together.

I really am so glad my dh and I did everything without a single piece of input from anyone.
We even designed our own invites. A kiddy photo of each of us then the info. Printed up at work …job done.

From what I’m reading here along with the many threads on taking friends and relatives wedding dress shopping ( apparently called say yes to the dress ) I’m so glad we did….it all sounds so exhausting.

If this was what she originally asked were there other designs? And you replied "they are all awful, this is what I would do....."??

You said you can be brutally honest with each other but also that she is getting annoyed with your honesty around this wedding so take a step back. It's not what you would do. It's not your wedding. Just answering her questions at face value. Which design do you like, you answer design 1 or 2, end of.

On that, if you are going dress shopping, remember its not your wedding, it's not your dress. You are there to tell her what looks good and flattering on HER, not what style you would choose!

Isn’t there enough on the tables though without menus and place cards

Why have a menu….is that for everyone ie one each…..Why!
I perhaps get the place cards but don’t people just do a seating plan these days
I know this isn’t the point but goodness it’s all become such a faff. Hoping your sister, who sounds a little more laid back, will take it all in her stride and keep it simple…..

I really don’t have an issue with those invites and in fact I love the colour.
It doesn’t matter what one person likes, everyone is different and should be allowed to do their thing. I, like you, agonise when talking to clients about design ( I’m an architect) but ultimately it is up to the individual themselves to have what they want . So I would let you sister do her own thing.
In fact if she turns up in jeans on the big day I hope you’ll say how wonderful she looks

I'm amused by the description of the floral border as 'dated', followed immediately by the suggestion of wax seals, which strike me as quite trendy and therefore doomed to look 'dated' in short order.

I wouldn't have chosen the floral border, either, to be honest, but it's all a matter of opinion and at the end of the day, the style of a wedding invitation isn't that important to anyone but the bride and groom. No-one is right or wrong here. Even if she originally asked your opinion, you've said you can sense that she's unhappy that you're not supporting her choices. Unless that changes, just let it go, push down your superior taste, and try to find something nice to say about what she selects. If she asked 'which' design you like, that suggests she was showing you 2 or more designs and asking for your opinion on just those, not inviting you to tell her that what she's narrowed it down to isn't nice enough.

Op yours is just ONE point of view and certainly not superior to anyone else’s. You seem to think you are the last word in taste and style, no wonder you are annoying your sister.

Her invitations are full of personality and character - symbolising her qualities not yours, with the fussy ribbons and wax seals. It’s her wedding and should reflect her style, not yours. The bright and vibrant nature of the invites would make me smile and look forward to the wedding. A blessed change from stiff formality and lack of creativity that usually accompanies weddings.

They’re only invites a really minor detail. Will just be stuck on the fridge better to spend the money on the important details.

You say you have good taste , that’s your opinion. You have different taste , doesn’t mean yours is better.

You have a very strange notion of what closeness is.

Being ‘close’ doesn’t mean haranguing someone about their personal taste and pushing and pushing them until they do things your way. You can be close to someone without being uptight and patronising to them when they’ve indicated that they want you to button your lip.

It absolutely is about you wanting to take control. You talked about “allowing her to make shit choices”. You don’t get to “allow” anything and you are insanely controlling if you believe anything that isn’t to your personal taste is a “shit choice”.

Matters of personal taste like this do not have a right or wrong. You don’t like them. She does. Your taste isn’t any better than hers. It is simply different. And as this is her bloody wedding and not yours, wind your bloody neck in. If she likes them, they are a good choice.

Fine to tell her they wouldn’t be your choice, if she asked you outright. But if her response is “Fair enough, but I like them so that’s what I’m having” then you need to shut up about it and stop banging on about wax seals and obsessing over this absolute non-issue.

FWIW, I think those wax seals are incredibly naff. If I was getting married, the invitations would be simple, minimalist printed white cards. No wax seals, scrolls, faux calligraphy or any of that. Not my thing at all. I would keep it contemporary and clear and would be avoiding fussy details or faux antique gimmicks like the plague.

Just be supportive of her choices.

100%

"I offered this because I have better taste"
"That's bad and try hard though"
"Well obviously I don't like this..."

Quickly backtracked indeed

These are really ugly. I like her taste more 😆

That looks shit. Extremely ‘Etsy’ and a bit Essex. Maybe that’s your thing?

It’s clearly not your sisters, thank God. So get your nose out!

Yeah right. Backtracking much? 😂

Anyone besides me notice that the OP backed off of the wax seals and her examples after people gave their opinion 😂

@Payets there’s a lesson in that for you!

ETA: The phrases you’re looking for are “Do you like it?” “It’s not my invitation/decoratio/wedding… does it make you happy?”

Some of your mates probably think your taste is rubbish or boring but are too polite to say. Just let her do her own thing..

The truth is, most people genuinely don’t give a shit about wedding invites and it’s quite refreshing that your sister recognises this and is doubtless spending her money on other things which might well make more impact.

This.

Ribbons and wax seals? How try-hard and down market is that? 🙄.

Phone for the fish-wives, Norman … 😀

Apologies for the derail, but since it got mentioned on the first page: There is actually no such thing as Type A personality in psychology.

The idea of the "Type A personality" was invented by the tobacco industry in the 1950s to try to explain why so many smokers were dying. They couldn't deny the correlation, so they came up with an alternative explanation that didn't mean that the tobacco was doing the damage. The idea was that there were these people with "type A personalities" who were prone to being highly stressed, and therefore more likely to both (a) drop dead of heart attacks and (b) smoke to calm themselves.

It was quite successful for a while (I assume they paid people to talk about it) and the myth of the Type A personality stuck around for a few decades after people finally understood that it was, in fact, the smoking that was killing people. Perhaps it's a useful metaphor for someone who is a bit less easy-going than the average, but it's not regarded as a valid classification in any area of psychology today.

It's nothing whatsoever to do with you. It's your sister's and her partner's day, and what they want goes. Not everyone wants the perfectly curated wedding day, I couldn't care less about things like invitations and what they look like. Leave her alone and keep your opinions to yourself.

As for having "good taste" that's subjective.