Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

Leave her alone, it’s not important and this time she doesn’t want your advice.

That’s a really generous post, @Calliopespa — I’m not entirely sure the OP merits it, given her attitude as de o started on here, but it’s certainly a kind take on her obvious anxiety thst her sister might ‘make a shit choice’.

Why don't you channel your Type A into getting her exactly the wedding she wants? She does not need criticism or nitpicking, she needs support. So get behind her, this is her wedding and not an outfit choice.

I think that only you know your sister but will it stress her on the day if these things are not right?

Invites, placecards, favours, cake, car to the venue etc probably not and they only really matter if you take pleasure from them and they can also inject a little personality even if that is that you are a little more chill about the wedding. These are areas where I let people help. I wasn’t precious about them as I knew I couldn’t do everything personally. I did my own name cards and made them very personal and creative. Unless you care a lot about them (and that’s fine too as I loved doing my placecards and table setting) they actually have little impact on the day.

Her dress being properly fitted, good fitting underwear, having had a trial of makeup and hair so she feels like herself these matter a lot on the day.

Even the running order of the day and practicalities that has more of an effect on the actual wedding and feel of it.

I would help support her on these but only you know what really matters to her.

Invites don’t even appear on the day so that would be the least of my battles.

Ok op this is a pile on; I think you are getting a really hard time because people are ( from behind their keyboards.) getting to have a swipe at a person who represents to them anyone who has ever bossed them or made them feel a bit unsure in their choices. And in a way they are right; it isn’t nice to feel that way.

BUT I have a family member just like you and I know that, while they can piss a lot of people off, they are actually very caring ( in their own bossy way) and do just want it to be a best choice ( from their own inflexible standpoint).

I can see why you might think the border was a bit gaudy ( my initial reaction 😳would have gratified you enormously) ; but then I’m different again from you as well. I like stiff A5 card, zero fussy flourishes, preferably engraved and with a plate mark. But to some people that is utterly devoid of self-expression ( not to mention a total waste of money).

I do think you are probably someone who puts effort into aesthetics and I’m sure plenty of people like your style. But if you have real ability with styling ( and my family member does) the best way to develop that skill so you are being additive and not detracting is to use your eye and creativity to look for other ways of capturing the vibe THEY are wanting. I’m sure you could work with your Dsis’s choice ( use sunglasses if necessary 😎 ) to suggest something a little more subtle. Who knows, that may have been the help she was wanting and then you’ve ploughed in with the complete antithesis of bright and cheerful and she’s just felt her concept has been squashed completely.

I think bright and cheerful could be lovely. No, it’s not what you’d choose. It’s not what I’d choose. But we aren’t her. And I enjoy other people having things that surprise me and allow them to express themselves.

I think people are missing how much your attitude is coming from a place of wanting what you feel would be lovely for your DSis. But try to work with her to support her in realising HER vision, not yours. I bet you have good ideas if you can relax into her choice a bit.

They are very on trend wedding invites op. We have 2 upcoming weddings both are of a similar style of invite. One in a soft navy and sage set up the other more colourful like your sisters.

The problem with claiming you have good taste (and here by default claiming your sister doesnt) is you come across as having a specific idea. What you need to consider is "What is your sisters vision for her wedding.. what does she aim for."

I am with her on the who gives a ... over wax seals. I think they are naff. Doesnt mean I dont have good taste means its different to yours. My personal taste runs more to minimalist so wax seals and bows would not be my preference. Nor would a floral boldly coloured bow.

Having said that I dont think your sisters choice is terrible.

What you need to remember is this is her wedding. Have a conversation about what she sees as important. What is her vision and then support her in this.

Dont dismiss others when they suggest you are coming across to strong here as many relationships blow up over weddings. If you are as close to your sister as you claim. This time consider what sister needs it may not be "brutal honesty" she may need a supportive sister who can reign it in a bit. Have some conversations with her..

Btw I was very close to my sister around the time I married but I recall her as a utter nightmare over the way dh and I wanted to do things (we now live in different countries so are by default not as close)

Ugh, you sound like my sister who thinks she’s the epitome of style and good taste. 🤣

She wears boring dull plain colours and decorates her house in the same minimalist generic way. I colour my hair bright purple and have painted the outside of my house a fabulous pink.

I love my sister but we don’t share the same tastes in anything.

I so wish i could go back and get all the moment I spent on trendy ‘must have’ tat that wedding magazines encouraged me to buy (plus the wedding magazines themselves). I didn’t even go that mad, I made most of it myself - but still what a waste of time and money.
OP, your wax seals will be ‘dated’ next year and new brides will be spending their money on some other nonsense, but your sister will have £X left in her pocket for being wise enough to avoid all that silliness!

What, precisely, do you not understand about @Avatartar's comment?

FGS Hyacinth pipe down. She's your sister not your clone.

I've only kept two Wedding invitations, one in a photograph album with photos of the day (25 years ago) and one where the groom was unwell and who subsequently passed away. I don't even have the invite from my friend of 45 years' wedding which was 33 years ago.

If your sister likes that kind of border she's got a very different wedding to you. Going by that I'd say she's looking for easy going and laid back whereas your concept is more formal.

You'll have your own wedding to plan so let her her do it her way. It's worth pointing out that easy going and laid back (and colourful) can be more of an enjoyable and joyous occasion where something is less likely to go wrong.

Yes, and a good deal less pretentious and wasteful.

I thought that - especially from someone “detail oriented”!!

Yes I think we’re saying the same thing…

Could be.. but it's delusional and controlling regardless and doesn't fit the post of should I just be honest. Op has already been honest but has a problem in accepting no for an answer. There's no justification at this level of obsession, in fact its deeply offensive, its just a wedding invite.. it's going to be a long life if this is how someone close to you behaves...

Wax seal . Dried grass. Yuk.

Good taste is simplicity and a decent font.

In my view.

Did you offer your ribboning and wax sealing services by showing your sister examples of menus she should use instead of floral boarded invitations?

Neither are better styles. One suggests a less formal wedding the other suggest a more fussy wedding.

Wax sealing and ribbon tying? It’s a bit of paper that pretty much everyone will glance at, add to their phone calendar and chuck in the recycling. If anything the wax/whatever fancy thing is stuck to it will make it harder to recycle.

Some people just send out email invites as 100 paper invites is yet another expense.

The wedding industry is out of control and incredibly wasteful.

Those ones you've attached are dull, and what's with the dried flowers? They'll just get chucked. I've no idea why a wax seal is even a thing?
As you can see, taste is subjective.

I like it and no one apart from those who like to get over involve likes to criticise gives the design of the invention a second thought

People literally put these in the recycling
I don't think anyone really cares about them

One has the impression the OP will feel it’s her taste on display at this wedding. Anyone who seriously uses the self-designation ‘Type A personality’ appears to genuinely think that ‘friends don’t let friends go out in an outfit that makes their arse look big’, and that in preventing this heinous act, which is their responsibility, they are in fact doing something worthy.

They imagine people thinking ‘How did Barbara let Angela go out wearing that?’ ‘How did Eliza let Maria choose thst wedding stationery?’

It's only a wedding invite and it's obviously what she likes and she's happy with her choice. Are you always this controlling and opinionated? Why do you care so much?

100% keep quiet

Tbh I don’t think the people receiving the invites pay that much attention to what they look like, do they? Surely it’s a case of open it, transfer dates into the family calendar. Stick it on the fridge with a magnet for a week or two and then it gets binned. Or is that just me? I’d say chill and leave her to it.