So mad at dh

Yeah I’m mainstream - was working 8.45 - 3.00. Pay is shocking

If the unpaid overtime your DD is expected to cover takes her earning below minimum wage she should be calling ACAS. She can probably put in a claim for back pay.

I understand schools are in a hard place and staff go above and beyond in a lot of situations. But the implication in the previous post was that you as the parents should be managing the provision of your DS’s 1:1 entitlement to some extent and you can’t do that. You aren’t the employers here and cannot effectively manage the TA or their working conditions. The LA/school and the TA need to work that out between them.

Wow I’m jealous - I worked Monday Friday and full school day and just before I left on mat leave I was taking home £1071.

But the school are responsible for this in the situation. OP has made up a scenario where his 1:1 might not be available it’s not as if school have said they cannot take the child unless a parent goes too.

I have an autistic child and agree with your dh. It is unreasonable to expect a parent to come every time. The school need to step up and train the 1 to 1 make sure they know they aren’t to leave your dc.

I can, but some things are more important! We considered the possibility for our daughter this year when she went on her residential but the very thought gave me horrendous panic! Luckily she was OK but still.

I understand why you’re annoyed but I also understand why he wouldn’t want to go on the trip. If he’s otherwise pulling his weight and this isn’t a pattern of him not doing his share, I think I’d be understanding about this one instance.

I don’t have a disabled child myself but did grow up with a severely disabled sibling so I do have some understanding of the pressure on both you and your DH and I sympathise.

Op, a slight digress, but if your Dd is working as a TA, and is regularly doing unpaid overtime , her average hourly rate must meet minimum wage , otherwise her employers are breaking the law ; even if that’s a school with no budget.

If that is the case, she should contact ACAS, her union, or citizens advice .

It makes me so angry that people are abused by employers in this way.

You sound like an amazing mum btw

Tbh I would assume his 1:1 would be with him on the trip and a parent shouldn't be needed (ex head here). The schools should be able to manage him effectively

I’ve got two boys with ASD (both young adults now), I only ever went on one school trip. Oldest was definitely a flight risk in some circumstances and I made that clear to
the school. They put things in place to ensure he was safe.

Our SEND children are legally entitled to an education that meets their needs and, while I have every sympathy for their teachers, we need to ensure that our child’s needs are adequately met.

I do appreciate that it’s hard for teachers but we’re just as stuck in the situation as they are and our responsibility is to our child not to
the teachers. It’s up to the school leadership to put things in place.

I'm so impressed that you do that, there's no way I could manage it.

Same here, OP. These scenarios frazzle my nervous system for days, but I do what I have to for the wellbeing of our child. There’s no reason a man shouldn’t make the same sacrifice.

Nope, because he won't meet the needs of his disabled child, he is wrong.

It wouldn't be seven hour days, necessarily, or full weeks.

For those saying that the school should just manage, as said, outside of school, it isn't that easy, without restraint tactics (which is built into adult care plans). But activities are chosen to suit an adults needs, school can't rearrange trips to suit one child. Parents of disabled children do often need to be involved. It's piss poor parenting on behalf of the Dad.

So because he doesn't see it or do it your way he is wrong?

Sorry I thought 17-18k working 7 hours a day for 38 weeks of the year equated to minimum wage at £13.50 per hour. Which where I live, is under minimum wage.

TA wages cannot legally be fixed at lower than minimum wage. If you know any TAs who are earning less than minimum wage tell them to call ACAS immediately.

Wow! How can 1 to 1s earn less than minimum wage?

Does your son want to go on the trip OP? It sounds like he got overwhelmed last time.

This is a tricky one. As someone who works in a school, depending on the child we don't always want the parent of the sen child to accompany them, for various reasons. This year one child had the senco and their 1:1 TA accompany them plus they were grouped with the class teacher, so 3 adults that are closely aware of their needs. There should also be a risk assessment form that the school give you to sign, regardless of you attending the trip or not, so this should show how they will manage the child e.g. if they are a known runner, how they will minimise this risk.

However in terms of your question should DH take a turn if parents are requested to attend, then absolutely.

This is exactly what his 1:1 is for, so dh has a point. He shouldn't need to go because the school should be fulfilling their legal obligations to your son.

@RawBloomersbeing ‘entitled to a 1:1 who will meet his needs’ where do you think these trained professionals with all their expertise come from? It’s all well and good managing a child’s safety in a school environment with fences and locked doors but trying to coax a dysregulated child to conform when they’re in fight or flight is like holding water. And a school doesn’t pay the wage, it’s the local authority and is fixed at lower than minimum wage.