AIBU to feel weird about my exDH and my best friend?

I thought it was taboo but if it’s ok to use that word, I’ll apply it with relish on several other threads.

What a bitch & what a piece of shit he is. How horribly hurtful at a time you really need your friend. I’d find it hard not to let them both know how they’ve let you down & betrayed you. And then move on. Easier said but ghost her out & try to focus on the bits you can do with regard to your ex. You’re well shot of them OP.

On the positive side of things, ex partners are a lot easier to deal with they have the distraction of a new relationship, and you can use your friend as a go between when you can’t be bothered arguing with your ex directly. You also already know the woman who will be looking after your kids. I don’t want to sound mercenary but there are a lot of benefits here

20yrs she been your friend and now she’s messaging/chafing to your ex dh

she is not a friend

My exDH doesn’t want to separate and keeps trying to convince me to come back. I’ve been clear I’m done.

fair enough, but then IF they are getting together, they are not really doing anything wrong are they. (unless it suddenly comes out they've been sleeping together for years).

It kind of make sense friends, who have a lot in common, can be attracted by the same man/ woman.

As long as nothing happened until now, she's not doing anything wrong. Neither is he, you are the one who left.

It might be difficult to keep a friendship, but that's life. You can't break up but then disagree with your ex to redo his life. It's a risk for her, she might be a rebound girl, or she might be the one. Who knows. But that's not your problem anymore.

It’s fair enough you feel weird about it but there’s nothing you can do about it.

You need to step away from the friendship and let them, um, get on with it.

Probably showing ignorance but why not?

Why wouldn't we be allowed? It means disreputable and sleazy. What do you think it means?

Are we allowed to refer to people as skanks?

Massive skanks, both of them. Took her all of five minutes! That is not how a good friend behaves.

trust your gut.

Id be tempted to have a casual chat with her husband and see if he knew they were meeting. I suspect not.

best of luck to you op- at least you know you’ve made all the right choices in binning them both off!!! xox

Pickings are slim out there. She’s got him in her sights.
Find a new best friend because she ain’t it.

Yanbu- she is acting super shady and it wouldn’t surprise me if they start having an affair

I suspect that she’s more his friend than yours rn and that if you confide in her on Wednesday then she’ll tell him everything that you say.

I suspect he is trying to manipulate her into trying to talk you round. Pleading his side. Trying to convince her you should give him another chance etc.

She is not your best friend. She is not even a friend. Sorry OP.

And what the fuck with your husband wanting to get back with you and thinking that the best way to do this is to have cosy chats with your best friend that you don't like?

Ewwwwww!

That won't stop her though. In fact she'll use it as cover for them spending time together with the excuse that he can talk about you. Then that'll lead to more. A mixture of jealousy and confusion will stir the pot. Easily done. Some might believe it's all innocent. I don't.

As pp have said, assume she'll tell him anything you say. Also anything you have said about him in the past. Work on that basis.

They're screwing

Sympathies, it's tough losing a partner & a close friend at the same time.

It happened to me.
ExH got with a v close friend whilst we were married, I was confiding in her re problems in my marriage & all the time she was screwing the ex.
They denied it for months & finally her husband (who she'd left by then) told me they were living together.

Well she’s made her priorities clear sadly. Some women are like this, thankfully few, and are more of a ‘man’s woman’ than even their best friend - sounds as if she’s always been a bit this way. Some guys like to have one ready and waiting for their lonely self, make them feel a bit better, or use their phone book to look one up - here we have a pair.
I don’t think it means he doesn’t want you back, and I don’t think it even means she doesn’t want to be your friend - but both are behaving oddly yes, also badly and riskily - won’t end well.
Still it hurts so look after yourself- I’d leave them both to it and not contact except where essential- if you can.

i echo what everyone else is saying, she is not your friend. Your best friend would support you and be messaging and meeting up with you. Your best friend would absolutely not be messaging your ex and meeting up with him.

I hope you’ve got other friends to support you op, you need to let this one go

That was my first thought too. Very fishy!

She is not your friend. Sorry.

Entirely up to them and they'd be doing no wrong, but you are definitely not being unreasonable @GooglePenguinBollardsIDareYou That would genuinely freak me out and piss me off in equal measures. I agree with others that you need to give them both a wide berth.

Good luck dealing with this.

Edited to add: Just noticed she is married. Ewww, just no! She has the morals of an alley cat! I would bin her as a friend!

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