Calorie deficit not working

You just have to push through the feelings of hunger for a while.

You distract yourself with anything and everything else. There's nothing 'wrong' with feeling hungry, we feel lots of things daily ,and distract ourselves from it. This is the same.
Things will reset and you will feel normal eating less, eventually.

Other things that can help speed up your weight loss;
Not adding peanut butter and jam to yogurt anymore and double check the yogurt is pain without added flavours or sugar.
You don't need jelly at lunch.
the 200k sweet snack at night needs to go or be cut in half at least.
Ready meals should be a no go.
Don't add sauce or dip to anything.

Yes it sucks we can't all eat what we like when we feel like it, but you don't "need" these treats and things. Explore why you feel so dependent on it.

Have a read of this book:

Why We Eat (Too Much)

by Dr Andrew Jenkinson. It explains why calorie-counting and yo-yo dieting doesn’t work. (And tells you what will!)

a couple of times you have mentioned the feeling of hunger - often just the fear of that discomfort can really trigger some bad responses. It's actually ok to feel hungry. That is normal. But some of us have bad experiences with hunger and it causes disordered eating. So, it will be worth your while to explore volume eating (i can highly recommend dr fuhrman for whole food plant based as a principle) - focus on fresh fruits and veg, starchy veg try to reduce bread, pasta and rice and if you do eat it thats where you need to really measure as they are calorie dense. Avoid junk and processed food. But as every persons biology is different, I would also explore some support for the emotional side - its unlikely to just be about calories and perhaps that will help you.

Exactly. And I think counting calories is crazy. I mean who's got time for that. And you don't need it! You can eat all vegetables you want and eggs/fish without putting on weight! Just reduce carbs into a fistful per meal (pasta/bread/potatoes). Just go light with the desserts and you're good. It's easy and sustainable.

Also how are you measuring your success? By the scales? If so, that's not a reliable source of how you're doing due to things like hormone changes and water retention etc. it's normal to gain anything up to 5lb on your period so if you weigh that week then you'll think you've gained when in reality, you haven't. It's a marathon, not a sprint and a lifestyle change so hang in there.

They’re all different because it’s very hard to calculate.

Slow loss is manageable and less likely to yoyo. You can do it! Keep going. This isn’t a diet, this is just your new normal.

Slimming world works brilliantly for me, I think because I'm not a volume eater. So SW may say I can have as much pasta as I want, I'll only want a small bowl. My problem is sugar cravings related to my PCOS so I binge UPF and get stuck in a cycle and anxiety also trigger binges. Because of the PCOS I gain easily but lose slowly.

Slimming world tells me I can have 3 meals of real food, that's easy, I like that food, I eat sensible portions of it and feels satisfied. It also tells me I can have 15syns which is roughly 300calories of non free food. That food I need to have specific amounts of. Set rule. Which I can do.

Since discovering slimming world I've only gained weight when breastfeeding (Extreme hunger and sugar cravings, I lose weight in pregnancy gain when feeding) and otherwise can lose then maintain. The classes help keep me accountable and sharing those ideas of swapping up foods etc with others. It's not magic, it's still just a calorie deficit but it works for me because on calorie counting diets I'd happily have 1500 calories of chocolate and no vegetable. That's just the truth.

Prioritise protein as it will keep you feeling full and not hungry. Switch your breakfast yoghurt to a higher protein yoghurt like skyr or Greek. Even the 5% fat will keep you full if you don't like the texture of the 0%. I eat around 140g per day and 50g of fat and I slot carbs in around them and I'm rarely hungry. Fat is important to keep hormones in check as we age and it also keeps you full.

OP, you are barking up totally the wrong tree.

I was referring to this bit, which is 100% correct:

Calorie deficit is only the start of the story. I’d really recommend doing some reading around why what those calories are really matters. Sure, you can lose weight eating 1200 cals of chocolate a day, but it will be almost impossible to stick to (as well as being very unhealthy) as it’s not what a body requires. Whereas 1200 cals of the right food can be very filling and level out your energy and blood sugar spikes during the day, and if something fills you up, you’re less likely to then binge and snack on stuff.
I have totally changed my diet, and it’s much more of a Mediterranean style diet. I’d have a look at some of Michael Mosley’s stuff, the Zoe podcast, Andrew Jenkinson’s books are good too. They’ve really changed my understanding of what my diet (permanent diet, as in a way of life) needs to be for my health and I’ve never felt better or had more energy. It needs to be a lifestyle shift, and the shift will make it easier to stick to reduced calories because they will be the right kind of calories.

Are you 'eating back' calories the app says you burnt in exercise?

OP - there’s a clue in a lot of the posts on here by people who ‘always lose when I do xyz’ or ‘this usually works for me’ etc.

They are gaining and losing weight over and over again - aka yo-yo dieting.

I thought this is what you want to stop doing?

You need a way of eating that’s easy, enjoyable and sustainable. And you shouldn’t be taking advice from people who are also yo-yo dieting!

So i have decided now to try a calorie deficit in order to eat the things I still love in moderation
I eat what I like, and as much of it as I like. I don't put on weight.
Fortunately, I love veg and salads (no dressing), not keen on carbs, hate fried foods, don't have a sweet tooth etc.

Mug Shots isn't food. That sort of stuff makes you hungry. Same goes for crisps and biscuits.

Claiming something is ‘100% correct’ can be misleading, especially online. We don’t have the full context of someone’s health, lifestyle, or needs. It’s safer to consult qualified professionals rather than rely on advice from strangers on the internet, especially when it comes to health and nutrition.

I think it’s worth double checking your BMR. My feeling is that the “standard” calorie allowance recommended for women is very high.

My BMR is 1400 calories and I’m 5’ 10” so I’m assuming (no actual knowledge of this) it would become less the shorter someone is. I have 1200 a day when losing weight and try to exercise half an hour a day. It usually works if that’s any help but I have to be really strict - measure butter and oil and absolutely everything. The small things that often don’t get counted really add up.

Exactly. I eat loads of protein, and a protein bar or shake has never passed my lips.

It’s not a ‘craze’ OP - you need protein to maintain/build muscle and keep you full. More so if you are edging towards 40.

There is if you have an unhealthy relationship with food. You have to fix that relationship, and it takes an awfully long time and a lot of work. Ageing also rapidly decreases the amount of calories you can eat without gaining weight which can come as very new to some people.

I find it so weird to be counting calories tbh. If you eat healthy food there is no need for it.

you don’t have to consume these things

you just make sure meat, fish, eggs are a cornerstone of your diet. Greek yogurt too.

not stuff like mug shots

2 scrambled eggs takes the time it takes for a kettle to boil

I honestly think I've damaged myself in terms of feeling hunger, cause I can eat a massive meal and be starving like I haven't even eaten immediately after
Jogging will probably help with that, as will cutting out empty carbs.
Eat carbs that aren't high-GI instead.