WIBU if I complain about this teacher?

I am shocked at some of the replies here. Actually really awful to read to be honest.
This sounds like such a distressing situation, OP. I think it sounds like a very positive and responsible idea to get your son help, as you have already said, his violent behaviour was not ok.

Yes @HangryGooose Very shocking and awful to read about a gang of boys attacking a child like that. I'm sure it was extremely distressing for the teacher and the poor lad who took a beating
🙄

He was NOT walking away, @HangryGooose - the OP says he had turned back. As far as the teacher knew, he was about to resume his attack. What should a small woman have done against FOUR aggressive boys who had come mob handed to attack another pupil? Pushing him was an entirely proportionate response to the threat he posed, imo.

I am shocked at some of the replies here. Actually really awful to read to be honest.

This sounds like such a distressing situation, OP. I think it sounds like a very positive and responsible idea to get your son help, as you have already said, his violent behaviour was not ok.

I would suggest talking it through with the head teacher and teacher involved. I think it would help you to hear the teacher's side of the story first and also to see the school behaviour policy, and how they manage violent incidents.

I think it's reasonable to be honest and simply state how you felt, that you felt unhappy with your son being pushed while walking away. However, I don't think it would be reasonable or helpful to do this in an accusatory way.

It was a very difficult situation, for the student being punched and the teacher, trying to keep all students safe. I imagine she felt intimidated and scared even, with a real threat of being hurt due to the physicality of the incident.

It would be helpful to work with the school so that this doesn't happen again.

I hope you, your son and school staff get the help and support for the violence to stop.

Yeah, you complain about the teacher protecting one younger child from four angry violent boys.

You need to address your sons behaviour
I hope he's permanently excluded, because that's the only consequence that might make hin & you understand how unacceptable his behaviour has been.

I haven't read the full thread so this may have already been covered.
Wrt she was not being attacked.

How was she to know she wasn't about to be attacked? In these situations it's about perceived threat. Your child has already attacked the boy, and when told to leave he came towards them again. Given that he has just been violent, the teacher could reasonably believe that he was going to attack either herself or the boy again..
The teacher can justify in this situation the use of reasonable force.
She didn't run after him or hit him. She simply pushed him away.
Do some parents think that teachers just have to take a beating?
It's no wonder some kids are out of control and think they can get away with anything and are untouchable.
YABVU

Edit to add the post I meant to quote

im NOT okay with what my son did but im also not okay with a teacher putting her hands on my child.
i looked it up and I don’t feel it applies. She was not being attacked.

Where on earth have you got the idea that teachers must never touch pupils in any circumstance? This sort of ridiculous attitude from parents - thinking of making a formal complaint because their son while mid-fight was touched by a teacher - is why behaviour in schools is out of control and teacher retention is so poor. I actually despair. The issue is your son thought he could totally disrespect a teacher by storming into her room as a group of four to throw punches. Disgusting behaviour from him, horrific for a woman to deal with five lads first fighting while on her own and you’re sitting here thinking of trying to get a teacher into trouble for touching him when he wouldn’t shut up and get out?!

Your kid planned, with three friends, to find a student who was safely sitting in a room supervised by his head of year. They plotted to find out his location and attack him. A boy who is also younger.

The ratio was 4 to 2. They entered the room extremely aggressively and both the younger student and teach felt threatened due to your son's volatile behaviour.

I'm sorry but you are down right wrong in this. Your son's actions were vile, put your effort into dealing with that. He definitely needs help.

Consider 4 teenagers entering a room were you were, in a planned attack against the only other person in that room. Think about how your heart would be racing, you wouldn't feel safe, it was planned so what else have these students planned? Scary stuff, right? And in today's school instant thoughts would be are they carrying weapons? Do I need to alert the school to go into lock down?

That teacher did nothing wrong in my eyes but protect herself and another student from a vicious, premeditated attack. This wasn't a sudden burst of anger that went too far.

Most schools would have permanently excluded or managed moved your child.

I am amazed he hasn't been permanently excluded.
He has barged into a teaching space and launched an unprovoked attacked on another pupil.
This is one of the most clear Cust cases for perm ex I have ever seen and I work in this field.
I have seen children permanently excluded for far less.
Your priorities are utterly upside down. You need to read him the riot act not complain about the teacher. Because if he carries on like this he is on a slippery slope.

Wind up merchant 🤣

Thank you for your very kind words. I’m fine thankyou, but I left teaching within a year of that incident following another aggressive incident directed at me personally by a female pupil at another school, and didn’t return to teaching for more than a decade. Have left the profession completely now, largely due to behaviour and nightmare parents like the OP.

I remember another breaktime when a pre-arranged mass brawl broke out between about 30 students and every nearby teacher ran out to intervene. It was total mayhem and one very brave 64 year old female teacher got crushed against a stairwell as she tried to separate people. In what other job does a 64 year old have to face something like that out of the blue?

I’m not saying teachers are perfect, but the general public really has no idea of how often teachers are faced with very sudden, volatile situations where they have to make snap decisions to protect the children in their care. Often placing themselves at risk in the process.

This

I hope the teacher is OK. Poor woman.

It’s alarming that being attacked as a teacher is becoming the norm.

Four adult size (most 14 yo are) violent thugs burst into a room and start assaulting a boy in her care - wtf do you think she's supposed to do, say "please don't do that" and hope for the best? Sounds as if that's been your parenting method so far.
I hope your little darling is expelled - I wouldn't mind betting that he was the instigator of the "back and forth drama between him and another boy"

I am thinking the same thing.

What do you bet this thread will disappear as the OP will be unable to stand the criticism rightfully directed at her for her poor parenting

Thank you for protecting that boy and I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a shocking experience. Reading this must have brought it back, I hope you are feeling OK.

If I trawled through umpteen years on Mumsnet, I could probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of occasions that a parent ever got back to say how the awful treatment of their child went,

Funny that.

A few years into my teaching career (about 20 years ago), I had an incident in a year 9 lesson when a boy suddenly attacked another boy who had swiped his baseball cap. Within seconds they were rolling on the floor fighting and the aggressor was on top of the other boy, grabbed a pair of scissors off a desk and was trying to stab the other boy in the face. It was absolutely terrifying. As the only adult present, I was responsible for everyone’s safety in that room.

i shouted at one child to run and fetch another teacher. I then got behind the aggressor and had to use all my strength to restrain him. In the struggle, I nearly got stabbed in the leg. A huge male teacher ran in and was able to drag the aggressor off. Everything happened in a matter of maybe 2 minutes. It was absolutely terrifying, so much so that I was shaking all evening at home.

The aggressor was permanently excluded. No one checked on my welfare or thanked me for protecting a child from being stabbed, or acknowledged that I could have been seriously hurt whilst intervening. OP would undoubtedly have complained about me ‘laying hands on’ her violent, criminal son. There really are no words for some parents or their vile offspring.

I was so affected by the incident and the lack of support afterwards that I resigned from the school at the next opportunity and left at the end of the summer term. Still think about it 20 years later.

This is why I had to leave working on reception at a rough secondary school- the parents- my god, I’ve never seen human behaviour like this before I started 🫣

That scenario wasn't getting her the "support" she expected to get. She wanted MNers to be frothing at the mouth, urging her to "get the teacher". Instead, she got sane, thoughtful, horrified, "I'm gob-smacked" replies telling her that she and her child are acting abhorently.

I doubt she'll be back as she doesn't want to face the truth; which is, her NVDAHS is a thug, a bully and a budding criminal, with MH and anger issues.

Unreasonable doesn't come close to covering your current state, OP.

Off your fucking tits is the correct term, assuming this is real.

She’s taken him for a Maccie D’s as a reward and let him have an extra 2 hours on his Xbox. Absolute scum.

Sadly, there are many, many parents who behave EXACTLY like this.

They feel that their child, even when doing something horrific, like this attack, excuse it and "explain it away". They end up turning the blame onto the school, the teachers, the other students, the janitor; ANYONE but the one truly at fault.
It's never their "poor baby's fault" and will continue the excuses and blaming others as their offspring starts doing worse and worse crimes and end up in prison.

Jesus Christ 🤦🏻‍♀️ Your yob of a son burst into a room, mob-handed with 3 mates, and physically attacked another child with punches. The only adult present was a female teacher who you have described as small and possibly smaller than your son. She, quite rightly, had to protect the other child being assaulted and herself. And you are indignant that she pushed him out of the room?!

Am truly gob-smacked. Perhaps you should do some parenting and manage your son’s behaviour.

i hope he gets permanently excluded and that the other boy’s parents press charges for assault.