AIBU to not let my 12 year old go to Alton towers

DS has been going to Thorpe Park with a friend since he was about 12. They have a great time together and take care of one another. I don’t necessarily think it’s down to the ages of the kids, but more about who they go with. Some of DS’s friends I would be uncomfortable about him being out with unsupervised. Others are kind and considerate and supportive.

I'd let her unless social circumstances

If you think she is going to put herself in harms way to please others you have work to do OP

She should be able to say no to a fast ride, other kids won’t pressure her but will she pressure herself?

Both my DC have gone with school at this age. PTA run trips so parent volunteers on site but not ‘with’ the kids (I think most of the adults stayed on the coaches with a book!).
Mine had never been before (nor to any other big theme parks) and they were fine. It’s important for them to develop independence. If she’s scared about going then no, I wouldn’t send her but assuming she wants to go, then it’ll be good for her.

I would be absolutely fine with it if there’s an adult close enough to collect relatively quickly in an emergency.
The peer pressure question just seems weird to me …….. she needs to work that out herself. What’s the worst that will happen if she’s encouraged to go on a ride ? She goes on a ride and doesn’t like it? That’s really not a big issue . What would you do if you were there ? Tell her not to go on? It’s not your decision to make

I live half an hour from Alton Towers, so I would be able to nip back and collect them if it went pear-shaped - if you're in a similar situation, I'd say that's ok at that age. But maybe have a chat with both kids about not pressuring one to do what the other wants, and where to get help from adults etc.

My partner and I were at Alton tours when we saw a group of 7 or 8 peel a young girl off from the friends she was with and try to lead her away ...I intervened by walking up next to her as if she was a fiend I'd lost and led her out to the car park and made sure she was safe
That was over 20 yrs ago

I’m the same - absolutely love the rides! My 13 year old son has asked about maybe going with some friends. They’d need a parent to drive them there. It never occurred to me they’d want dropping off, I presumed the adult would go in too (it’s a long way to go to drop them then not go in too). I love the rides so I was very much up for the “responsible parent” role. Am now wondering about sending them off as a group and telling them we’ll check in by phone at lunch time to make sure there’s no issues, and in person at the end of the day. That way I can go ride the rides I know my son wouldn’t fancy doing lol. And maybe he’d be braver with friends than if I’m there.

OP - if I had a daughter I’d feel like you. Would the compromise be that an adult goes too, but the kids can go off together and meet the adult at designated times? Or regular phone calls to ease your mind?

I don't think you're being unreasonable to worry, personally I would want a trusted adult in the park for just incase sake. But the peer pressure element I think you're being a bit unreasonable ...in the sense it's natural for friends to dare each other to do the big rides and such. A conversation on knowing limitations and standing up for herself should suffice I guess.

I hope you let her go ...we went with our school and loved it. The fact they (teachers) then banned the school from going again is irrelevant 🤣🤣

I don't see the issue, they're being dropped off and picked up but then you are asking on Mumsnet where leaving a 19 year old home alone is frowned upon 😂

She would love it! Is she grown up enough to handle any difficulties that may arise
if
will she stay with her friend all the time and neither of them wonder off?promise?
it’s a big step for you to let her go but with promises and charged phones in place,she should be good and her confidence will go through the roof.

We went with school and were left to our own devices from year 7. I’d only just turned 12 and there will have been a few others who were still 11. From year 8 I was going on a train with my mates to our nearest city, which was an hour away. Then from year 10, when I was still 14, I was going to gigs at night in larger cities, albeit not via public transport, we’d always get a lift, but no adult ever went in with us. I had quite a sheltered upbringing as well.

They'll be fine. Minimum age is 12.

I’d rather that than hanging out in town personally. It’s enclosed, staff are there, they have a planned activity… sounds ideal for 12-13 yos learning a bit of independence. The only reason it’s unlikely we’d do it is dh and I bloody love rides 😂

We’re annual pass holders and I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my eldest there without me on site. Alton towers is huge, the gardens and some of the walk ways are off the main paths. My kids know it like the back of their hand but I’d personally not let them do it alone until year 9.

Not without an adult, no way. Both Alton Towers and Thorpe Park are unfortunately overrun with gangs of feral teens. The staff do nothing, probably because they’re all about 17 themselves. Last time we went to TP my daughter and her friend, who were both 14 at the time, were harassed and catcalled every time they went more than about 20m away from me. Kids in the ride queues were all smoking weed and verbally abusing anyone who said anything. Staff literally shrugged and said there was nothing they could do.

My school took us too Alton towers at 12 and basically let us loose from the morning until dinner time so it was just me and my friend on rides all day. It was great!
Im not sure if things have changed though (I only have a little one) but if they’re sensible, I’d let them go!

Are they good friends and are they generally kind to each other?

I feel you’re babying her. “She doesn’t do big rides”…. “Peer pressure”….. let her grow up a little bit.

if she chooses not to get on the ride at the last minute she can.

shes 12, not 2. Maybe her friends will help her grow up a bit.

How far away will the other parent be if there is a problem?

I'm quite surprised so many people are fine with this, I'd want the other parent fairly close by (preferably in the actual park!).

We went every year with the school from year 7. The whole school went and so did a few other schools. They dropped us off at the gate and we all met back up at 4.30pm. What would you want the other parents to do? The kids will be queuing for each ride so they would only be standing at the start of the ride anyway. 🤷

Not a chance at age 12.
Far too young, what if they get into a sticky situation with unwanted attention, what if she’s sick after a ride, what if she has an accident?
But I was super protective of my dd, hasn’t stopped her travelling around Asia by herself age 18!
You know your dd best though.

Too young, 15 would be okay

Not without an adult on site.

But the peer pressure thing, if you don't trust the friend that's a waaaay bigger problem

I’d have let them go with a school trip but not alone.