Lend car to husband and walk to work for 2-3 weeks

I thought the same as you.
Not my idea of a marriage and family. But each to their own.
What would he do if you were in this predicament @BritAirwaysgirl

Are you happy with the set up, with no shared finances etc?

As for the car, I’d offer mine. But my marriage is different. Could you cycle / walk? Is it a nice route. If not just leave him to hire a car.

I would lend my DH my car, but then again I love the guy and would want to. He would do it for me also, without question.

Walking 40 minutes is not far and I would welcome the walk but then again I am quite an active person, even in the rain! Is there not a bus you can get, even if you just use it for rainy days?

If it was a 5/10 minute walk to your work, OP, I’d definitely suggest lending your car. But 40 minutes is quite a trek and, given you don’t share finances, I certainly don’t think you should feel you have to offer.
You must have heard of the story where a man offers a woman an insane amount to have sex with him; she agrees, and he then reduces the amount to something paltry…? She then says, What kind of woman do you think I am? And he says, We’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over the price…
In your case, it’s not sex and money but car and miles — and I’m sure we’d all have a point at which we’d say, Okay, you have the car — but only you know what your point would be…!

He can't pick and choose when sharing is caring ( if he has asked you for this ) he can find sort this out like the independent big boy he is.
Take a leaf out of his book and put yourself first, always.

You and your housemate sound like you have a very transactional relationship so probably best you don’t lend him the car 🙄

It sounds like he decided to have completely separate lives. So the ‘good reason’ is that he made his bed.

I wouldn’t be in this marriage, but he chose it.

Is he asking for the car or has he hinted.
If he is a contractor then he will need business insurance for your car.
Given that you have completely separate finances I would not lend him your car.
I do not understand marriages with separate finances.

To be married and have everything seperate like that is a bit odd, really.

We have two cars but we use them interchangeably, and I can't imagine not putting up with a bit of minor inconvienience like a short walk to work for a couple of weeks to save DH the hassle and expense of hiring a car.

But whatever works for you. I would offer, though. I mean, do you like your husband? If so, why wouldn't you help him out?

From what you’ve said I wouldn’t put yourself out for him as it doesn’t seem like he would do the same for you

Is he asking to use the car?

It doesn’t sound like much of a marriage really. But if it works for you both then okay. Would he do something to help you out if the roles were reversed? That would impact my decision. Normally I’d say of course, share the car if you can walk to work. But given the way he’s downright said no to sharing any finances even in marriage, I’d be inclined to say keep your car and he’ll have to figure it out himself.

This Kind of thing has happened to us over the years and I would lend the car to DH and vice versa - presuming it’s not too much of an inconvenience to you to walk and or he can drive you sometimes. Even with finances separate, you’re a team and should help each other out- you should want to. But I wouldn’t have finances like yours so I’m not sure if it affects anything.

I'd walk to work, although actually I would be doing that anyway if it's only 40 minutes away.

In your situation being separate seems to suit you. In a more sharing type of relationship I’d work out what is cheaper- car hire, or Ubers, and do that.

I don't get why you wouldn't lend him the car? What's the reason not to? 40 mins walk is good exercise!

If he’s already planning to hire a car, what makes you question whether you should be giving him yours?

I agree, this would be a ‘family problem’ to solve for us, not just one person’s. We would sort it out between us. But in this instance I guess it’s not unreasonable to not offer, but it all feels a bit bizarre.

I can't imagine being that petty or seperate within a marriage. Unless your days are very long a 40 minute walk at this time of year is no hardship, why wouldn't do it to help out someone you (presumably) love?

I mean I agree in principle with all the people saying no way, because of what's gone before, but what a way to live!

If it was for 2 or 3 days and you don’t mind walking then I’d say you could share. But as it’s for 2 to 3 weeks then it’s too long. It might chuck it down every day or you might come down with something and be exhausted. Or you might just want to pop to Tesco on the way home from work.

For that amount of time I’d only consider it if the weather was likely to be okay and if DH paid for taxis if it was chucking it down (or a heatwave!) if needed.

It's not unreasonable not to, I'd personally lend mine to DH because hes thoughtful and kind himself and we share everything - i know he'd do this for me. Your set up is different.

I would lend my husband my car, but you seem to have an unusual set up, even for a separate finances household.

Would he do it for you? What did you do when you had child related costs? What happened when you were on mat leave? If you go out together, who drives and which car do you use? You say your outgoings are roughly equal, are your earnings comparable? These would all be factors for consideration for me. Could he/would he drop you off/pick you up while borrowing the car?

Seems so sad to me that you don’t cooperate. Can he drop you one way, is there public transport option.

it will shock you but we’ve decided to get rid of one car, and share

I would say it's entirely your choice, but you need to make sure your insurance will cover if he's using it to drive to appointments, as that's not covered but the standard "commuting" option.

Rainy weather is on the way. It won't be fun walking for 40 minutes. Three week hire by mine is around £500, if he can afford it, leave him to it. Unless he can at least drop you off.