Lend car to husband and walk to work for 2-3 weeks

Not failed if it works for them the way they’re doing it. Could be a very successful marriage (if the OP’s happy that way too). Still, the way things are - his car, his problem.

yes

why are they even together?

Failed marriage, their problem.

His car, his problem.

I completely agree. There isn't a team here. It seems really pedantic, and destined to end in resentment.

but again, that's different.

Normal, in my views, marriage: I would offer to lend you my car, but I do need it, you need another solution.

OP: he's not my problem.

Not quite the same, is it.

The OP hasn't been back.
I suspect there is more to this than just the car issue & theirs is not a happy marriage in which compromise & helping each other out is a thing that happens.

But in the other side, you’d want to help if you can right?

Its one thing to say ‘no I need my PC to work’ and refusing when it would cost you very little to share it (eg you only use it to go on MN) out of principle.

@CoffeePlse actually that’s a situation where I can see why you’d do that.
Its never ok when it’s always the same person making the effort.

Plenty of comments were about the separate finances.

We both work from home and need our PC's. I wouldn't expect to be able to just use my DH's, no. Just like I wouldn't also expect to use his car.

No I wouldn't, but that's because in our semi-shared household I've realised it always seems to go one way. Muggins here hires a car if mine is in the garage, but if DH's is out of action, he borrows mine and I'm inconvenienced. Because his work is always somehow a priority (despite lower salary), and he buys shit cars (tight, not broke). I'm fed up of being the dependable one who bends over for everyone else. So I'm projecting, obviously, but let him sort himself out!

That’s away to do marriage that is totally foreign to me.
Id WANT to help my dh rather than expect him to just struggle in his own.

It looks though as if your lives are pretty much separate. So 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I would question if your marriage has any chance to survive if one of you falls ill first any length of time/has an accident etc…. I can’t see any of you two stepping up for the other.

15 years of marriage and 'his transport issues are not my problem'?

You live really close to work, it's summertime, and the walking will do you good, you can skip the gym. Maybe he can drop you off/ pick you up some of the days.

I had car issues once. My ex would wake up at 6am to drive me for 45 mins for almost 2 months. Separate finances, for context. And 10+ years. I didn't ask him at all, but had he been able to but not offered, subconsciously it would have made me resent him. I'd have done the same for him.

Heck, even my friends would do this for me, and I'd do it for them. Another time I had car problems, my friend had me stay with her, at no cost, for a week. Another time another friend just drove me home for several weeks...

Do you love this person? If so, do you not have the innate desire to look after him and help him have a comfortable life, and not spend $$$ on a hire car that could go towards, I dunno, the children, or nice days out for you both?

Romance is dead if one won't go out of their way to help their nearest and dearest.

He borrows your car and pays your taxis for all journeys

What a strange marriage.

"In richer, in poorer"

Exactly this!
Alarms bells rang for me with this because I have a friend who has been/is being ripped off in a similar arrangement by an unpleasant, secretive partner.

I don't understand how mortgage and food can work out as the same as council tax and bills?

I am trying to figure out how the cost of utility and council tax is anywhere near the same as the cost of mortgage and food bill. Now granted I live in the South East and have two teenagers in the house, but my mortgage and food bill is probably 4 times more than council tax and utilities. Have you checked the finances ever? Is the house in your name?

Totally if the cars are that way designated, he should organise a courtesy car fr60 the garage.

I don’t understand it either.
It’s very odd.

Family with completely separate finances? Eh?

I think this is a bit strange. You are meant to be a partnership surely?

FWIW DH works at home and the Dcs go to school 12 miles away in heavy traffic and I work another 3 miles away further on. My car's clutch broke and due to complexities it was out of action for 2 weeks.

So DH drove the Dcs to school, me to work then home. Then reversed that in the afternoon every day- without even questioning it. Because we are a partnership.

Then each Saturday he took the Dcs to their swimming lessons 10 miles away because I had had a tough few weeks and he wanted to let me lie in.

I simply cannot fathom what it must be like to be keeping some sort of financial score card like this. How do you bear it?

The question to ask, is if the shoe was on the other foot what would your husband do.
And the answer, because I suspect it’s not obvious, is that he would leave you to figure it out at your own expense.

I work 5 miles away and my husband works 60 miles away. I would of course offer my car to him in this situation. I’d either get the bus, a lift from my dad or borrow my dad’s car if I had appointments. I can’t understand why you wouldn’t to be honest.
my husband wouldn’t ask but I would offer.

He's said he's going to a hire a car so why are you asking this question.
He's come up with a solution so no, you don't need to lend your husband the car.
Why can't he get a courtesy car from the garage, that's what happens if my car has to go in for an extended period of time?

What would you want to happen if the situation was reversed and you had the one hour commute and your husband the 2 mile commute and your car was going to be out of action for 2-3 weeks? Would you want him to lend you his car or would you make your own arrangements? The answer to that question will give you the answer as to whether you should lend him your car in the current circumstances.

However, I can't really imagine being married to someone where everything was strictly split like that and there's a "his car, his problem", "my car, my problem" attitude rather than a team of two people saying ok, one of the cars is out of action so how can we solve that as a couple.