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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this drive you nuts like it does me?

59 replies

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 13:06

DH is NOT a morning person. Getting out of bed is a task he just cannot master at the best of times and needs about 10 alarms before he gets out of bed.

Recently, he’s announced that he will start doing some exercise before work. Great - good for him. His alarm is now set at the wonderful time of 5am, an hour before I get up with the kids and then it’s go go go.

Only he is too tired to make it, his alarm blares at 5am, waking me in the process, he snoozes it a million times so I can’t get back to sleep because baby starts shuffling about in their cot and now I’ve been robbed of an hour of precious sleep!

I asked him to get rid of the alarm but heck! How can he TRY to go an exercise if he doesn’t put his alarm on? I mean I see his point but come on!

so AIBU - suck it up, he’s TRYING or YANBU - that would drive me round the bend!

OP posts:
Original poster
nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:00

Squashedbanaynay · 19/05/2025 17:46

Things like this boggle my mind. Other people live seriously weird lives.

Weird to set an alarm?

OP posts:
Communitywebbing · 19/05/2025 17:55

would not tolerate tolerate this.
I’d switch his phone off when he goes to sleep.

Nothankyov · 19/05/2025 17:52

@nCAgain111 - What time does he generally get up? I would suggest he starts setting his alarm 20 min earlier than he’s normal waking time and keep increasing it until he does get up at the actual time he wants to!

Mightyhike · 19/05/2025 17:52

This would drive me insane. What a selfish dickhead!

ChaToilLeam · 19/05/2025 17:49

I had an ex that used to do that kind of thing. He was a selfish prick and he is an ex for that and other reasons.

Squashedbanaynay · 19/05/2025 17:46

Things like this boggle my mind. Other people live seriously weird lives.

MounjaroMounjaro · 19/05/2025 17:41

Yes but she'd be sleeping in a wet bed!

If it's on his phone on the bedside table I'd wait until he was asleep then put it downstairs.

Original poster
nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 17:33

Brefugee · 19/05/2025 13:54

chuck water on him. His alarm goes off and wakes you anyway, take a big glass of water to bed and dump it on him when the alarm goes off.

That is as twatty as his constant snooz-hitting. And then boot him out with the baby while you sleep on for an hour.

This is the one! I’m going to inform him water is being thrown tomorrow morning if he doesn’t get up!

glad to hear there are other DHs that can’t be woken out there 😂

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 19/05/2025 14:00

Nope. Nope nope never.

Dreambouse · 19/05/2025 13:57

This would drive me bananas too!

DH is a very deep sleeper and he knows it, but he's not selfish so over the years he's found ways to minimise disrupting the rest of the house with his millions of alarms. He now has a watch whereby the alarm vibrates which actually he finds is more effective than a noisy alarm. When DS was a baby he made sure to sleep on the side with the cot so he would actually here and some nights when DS moved into his own room so he'd wake. If its something super important then I wake him up and/or he does set a loud alarm, but generally its no excuse to be selfish!

Brefugee · 19/05/2025 13:54

chuck water on him. His alarm goes off and wakes you anyway, take a big glass of water to bed and dump it on him when the alarm goes off.

That is as twatty as his constant snooz-hitting. And then boot him out with the baby while you sleep on for an hour.

Pickingdates · 19/05/2025 13:50

Thats some selfish pig you are married to.

Rickrolypoly · 19/05/2025 13:43

I would actually go bananas if this happened. Once, I'd forgive but if it happened again I would honestly be so angry. Don't mess with my sleep!

BumpyWinds · 19/05/2025 13:42

As a "compromise" I would be telling him he gets to set ONE alarm for 5am, with no snooze functionality. If he doesn't wake for it and you do, YOU get to turn it off so if he doesn't wake up then that's on him.

If he has no ability to get himself up at a time that he wants to do something, it's not your responsibility to help him.

Purplecatshopaholic · 19/05/2025 13:40

Fuck. That.

TinyTempest · 19/05/2025 13:35

wateraddict · 19/05/2025 13:31

This puts the mental load on OP and interrupts her sleep. This is his problem to solve… preferably by sleeping elsewhere, or stopping the endless snoozes which impact OP.

Show quote history

Still easier though

For now at least.

WhereAreMyKids · 19/05/2025 13:33

Nope, dh is the same. 10 thousand snoozes before he gets up. In fact he doesn't get up, he lies in bed pissing about with his phone continually snoozing the alarm.

Or he did. When our eldest was newborn we had a serious chat about where his phone would end up if he didn't get up on the first alarm and exit the room quietly. If I'm up all night with a cluster feeding newborn, he does not get the luxury of being a lazy twat AND disturbing everyone else in the process.

I will admit it was deep in the trenches with new born lack of sleep, so the chat might have been more screaming banshee. But it worked.

wateraddict · 19/05/2025 13:31

TinyTempest · 19/05/2025 13:27

As soon as he snoozes it and goes back to sleep, just turn it off.

This puts the mental load on OP and interrupts her sleep. This is his problem to solve… preferably by sleeping elsewhere, or stopping the endless snoozes which impact OP.

Original poster
nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 13:29

cannynotsay · 19/05/2025 13:28

Throw the phone away

That has definitely been a fantasy of mine. Just launch it out the window.

OP posts:
cannynotsay · 19/05/2025 13:28

Throw the phone away

Original poster
nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 13:27

skinnyoptionsonly · 19/05/2025 13:27

The fact that he lacks so much consideration, not just to you but also your young childrens tells me a lot about his character

LTB

Edited

That is a moan for another thread 🤣

OP posts:
skinnyoptionsonly · 19/05/2025 13:27

The fact that he lacks so much consideration, not just to you but also your young childrens tells me a lot about his character

LTB

TinyTempest · 19/05/2025 13:27

As soon as he snoozes it and goes back to sleep, just turn it off.

Original poster
nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 13:26

@Shuttered totally. I have put my foot down on the gym after work already, as he would never be around to help out with bedtimes and that’s a lot so as much as I applaud him for finding ways around it, it means nothing if he won’t bloody do it!

OP posts:
Shuttered · 19/05/2025 13:22

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 13:19

I am considering setting up a bed in the garage for him!!

As to the watch type alarms - he has one. When I say he sleeps like a LOG, he is unwakeable (probably not a word). This thing can buzz for hours, it wouldn’t even make him flinch.

So he needs to admit to himself that exercising at 5 am isn’t ever going to work for him, and at the moment he’s waking you and the baby for no reason, because he still isn’t exercising. No one is benefiting from his delusion.