Would this drive you nuts like it does me?

nCAgain111 · 2025-05-19T12:06:07+00:00

DH is NOT a morning person. Getting out of bed is a task he just cannot master at the best of times and needs about 10 alarms before he gets out of bed. Recently, he’s announced that he will start doing some exercise before work. Great - good for him. His alarm is now set at the wonderful time of 5am, an hour before I get up with the kids and then it’s go go go. Only he is too tired to make it, his alarm blares at 5am, waking me in the process, he snoozes it a million times so I can’t get back to sleep because baby starts shuffling about in their cot and now I’ve been robbed of an hour of precious sleep! I asked him to get rid of the alarm but heck! How can he TRY to go an exercise if he doesn’t put his alarm on? I mean I see his point but come on! so AIBU - suck it up, he’s TRYING or YANBU - that would drive me round the bend!

rainbowstardrops · 20/05/2025 09:33

I’d tell him he either gets up with the 5am alarm, or he can shove it up his arse go and sleep in a different room away from you and the children.
I have an H who supposedly can’t get up straight away and needs his alarm going off for an hour before he gets up. We don’t sleep in the same room now 😉

MorrisZapp · 20/05/2025 09:21

I broke up with a guy because of selfish alarm clock nonsense. No man is worth a crap sleep.

Original poster

nCAgain111 · 20/05/2025 09:12

thepariscrimefiles · 20/05/2025 07:42

Can I assume that he has also never done any of the night wakings with babies and small children and leaves it all to you?

He sounds like a selfish prick and if his inability to wake up is due to his weight, he needs to see a doctor.

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He did actually do one wake and I did the rest when DCs were tiny, luckily DC2 has slept through the night for a long time now. But I suppose that’s complacency now - just because the night isn’t so bad, he sees it as I’m soooooo well rested

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thepariscrimefiles · 20/05/2025 07:42

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:34

Ah the I’m getting up at 6 with DCs, while he sleeps in and then leaves for work 😂

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Can I assume that he has also never done any of the night wakings with babies and small children and leaves it all to you?

He sounds like a selfish prick and if his inability to wake up is due to his weight, he needs to see a doctor.

CalamityGanon · 20/05/2025 07:34

My ex used to do this. Notice the ‘ex’.

EmpressaurusKitty · 20/05/2025 06:58

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:34

Ah the I’m getting up at 6 with DCs, while he sleeps in and then leaves for work 😂

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Then maybe he should start by trying to get up when your alarm goes off & go for a brisk walk round the block. He could work up to C25K, plenty of time to fit it in.

WayneEyre · 20/05/2025 06:56

And don't be' hamstrung by 'you're stopping me losing weight '. No, he can do that by employing one of the above solutions.

WayneEyre · 20/05/2025 06:52

Put your foot down OP, this is selfish and immature behaviour. He needs a silent alarm (smartwatch) or to exercise at a different time. It's not fair to ruin your sleep. This is unacceptable. If he hasn't got it in him to get out of bed discreetly this time, he finds another solution.

As our strictest dinner lady used to should 'don't try, DO IT!!'. She was usually right.

Original poster

nCAgain111 · 20/05/2025 06:38

@saltinesandcoffeecups no matter the alarm time, it takes a few snoozes!

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saltinesandcoffeecups · 20/05/2025 02:32

To a certain extent though you can’t have it both ways. If he’s not allowed to work out after work then he has to in the morning. But(!) he doesn’t get to have his alarm go off for an hour.

If you hear the original alarm (I’m assuming you do) then wake his ass up otherwise he sleeps through… but no snooze. Yes he should get up to the first alarm but he isn’t. Does he wake up to his alarm if it’s not 5 am?

FrodoBiggins · 20/05/2025 02:24

Yes. Absolutely nuts. He can sleep in another (distant) room and snooze his alarm all he wants but waking you and the baby, and not even getting up himself, is totally unfair and mad. Don't see why he can't exercise after you've gone to bed?

TheHerboriste · 20/05/2025 02:07

maximalistmaximus · 19/05/2025 13:07

I’d break up over this.

Same. What a child-man. Talk about the ick.

BlossomMoon · 20/05/2025 02:02

Unplug it, or take the batteries out of it.

ZippyPeer · 19/05/2025 20:08

As Yoda says 'do or do not, there is no try'

Either he gets up when the alarm goes off or he does not put an early alarm on.

Anything else is extremely fucking unreasonable. Don't back down OP, he is on the dark side

Original poster

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 20:08

@DoYouReally I’ll suggest the time announcing one - or even just to rotate the ringtone or something. Maybe his brain is just desensitised!

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DoYouReally · 19/05/2025 19:35

I'm a multiple alarms/multiple snooze type person but he's incredibly selfish. He doesn't get to inflict his problem onto others.

He either sleeps separately or exercises during his lunch break, in the evening or after his divorce!!!

The only things that help me was setting an alarm which announces the time (no idea but it seems to kick my brain into action sooner) or playing music instead of an alarm sound. (These might not be fair on you but the time announcing alarm might be worth trying).

Me partner & I don't live together and if I've to be up far earlier than him, we don't stay in the same place.

He's wrong and he needs to realise it. It doesn't bother him because he genuinely doesn't hear it enough to full wake him.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 19/05/2025 19:25

Wait til get falls asleep then set it for 6am

Squashedbanaynay · 19/05/2025 19:00

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:34

I mean, I hate a drip feed and so I left this part out of the OP as this isn’t within my AIBU but he is vv overweight at the moment so as much as some of it is selfish, some of it is driven by his body genuinely not being able to get up and go. So I’m not getting this irate about it.

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Couldn’t give a damn if he was 600 lbs. He either finds a solution to getting up when his alarm goes, or he sleeps in another room. The solutions are simple and yet he doesn’t give a shiny shit about finding a solution. He’s happy to disturb everyone.

You don’t need to be irate about it, it’s your life. That’s why I said other people are weird- there is not a chance in hell I’d put up with this. Waking everyone with multiple alarms at 5am is one of the most selfish things I’ve read on here. It’s disgusting.

BruisedNeckMeat · 19/05/2025 18:42

This would drive me insane but I would also try to compromise on an evening gym routine a couple of times a week, especially if he’s trying to improve his health rather than just avoid g home.

Then you should get the same while he does bath and bedtime twice a week.

Original poster

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:34

Nominative · 19/05/2025 18:25

Why would you be destroyed for it?

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Ah the I’m getting up at 6 with DCs, while he sleeps in and then leaves for work 😂

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Original poster

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:34

Squashedbanaynay · 19/05/2025 18:09

I think you know fine well.

Of course he can fucking get up. He’s just a selfish bastard. I cannot comprehend a person doing this to their partner, the supposed love of their life. He’s a bloody disgrace. He wakes because he’s managing to reach over and press snooze. If he wants to get up at 5am he needs to do it in a way that doesn’t fuck his family over, the selfish fuck.

He needs to sleep in a different room and put the alarm far enough away that he can hear it but he has to physically get out of bed. And then, because he’s a grown adult and not a child, he needs to stay out of bed. He either does this from a separate room or from your bedroom at a more reasonable time.

Weird for all these reasons, weird that he isn’t doing everything he can not to be a selfish piece of shit, and weird that you’ve put up with it at all. Fuck that.

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I mean, I hate a drip feed and so I left this part out of the OP as this isn’t within my AIBU but he is vv overweight at the moment so as much as some of it is selfish, some of it is driven by his body genuinely not being able to get up and go. So I’m not getting this irate about it.

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Nominative · 19/05/2025 18:25

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:01

I’m going to get absolutely destroyed for this but 7am.

But the setting of times is actually clever… kind of what you do with toddlers 😂😂

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Why would you be destroyed for it?

Caterina99 · 19/05/2025 18:19

Definitely that would drive me mental! YANBU

Squashedbanaynay · 19/05/2025 18:09

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:00

Weird to set an alarm?

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I think you know fine well.

Of course he can fucking get up. He’s just a selfish bastard. I cannot comprehend a person doing this to their partner, the supposed love of their life. He’s a bloody disgrace. He wakes because he’s managing to reach over and press snooze. If he wants to get up at 5am he needs to do it in a way that doesn’t fuck his family over, the selfish fuck.

He needs to sleep in a different room and put the alarm far enough away that he can hear it but he has to physically get out of bed. And then, because he’s a grown adult and not a child, he needs to stay out of bed. He either does this from a separate room or from your bedroom at a more reasonable time.

Weird for all these reasons, weird that he isn’t doing everything he can not to be a selfish piece of shit, and weird that you’ve put up with it at all. Fuck that.

Original poster

nCAgain111 · 19/05/2025 18:01

Nothankyov · 19/05/2025 17:52

@nCAgain111 - What time does he generally get up? I would suggest he starts setting his alarm 20 min earlier than he’s normal waking time and keep increasing it until he does get up at the actual time he wants to!

I’m going to get absolutely destroyed for this but 7am.

But the setting of times is actually clever… kind of what you do with toddlers 😂😂

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