To be absolutely fed up of toddler?

Look for a nursery for at least a couple of days a week.

Why don't you look for a job? It would do you good if you are so fed up with taking care of a toddler...I has to be really hard if you don't get help even at the weekend! No wonder you are fed up

Sounds like a normal toddler to me, mine is the same and she drives me nuts too! Nursery makes my life easier though and she has fun learning and making friends.
The main problem is your partner, sounds like he is opting out of your family. It is completely unreasonable of him to not help you with raising his child. You deserve better.

Split up with your partner, get a job and put your child in nursery. Your partner is the problem, not your toddler, who sounds like a completely normal toddler.

I think I am eligible for free 15 hours so I will look into applying for that once I find a suitable nursery place.
I'm happy to be corrected, but I think you'd have to be working to be eligible for this.

Honestly a nursery place is the answer.
no way would I be capable of looking after my toddler all day every day and staying sane!!!

your partner is a class A twat and you should bin him off unless you need the money.

seriously - get some childcare for a few
days a week at the least. Everyone would feel as you do in your position. Forget playing at home all the time- it’s not enough for them when they’re toddlers! They need more and nursery gives them that.

Don't fall for this sudden change of heart. He just wants to get you where he can control you and it sounds like he wants to get your mum out of the picture.

🇹🇳

Leave him. Keep your place. Do not move in with him. If you do, expect him to do nothing, and potentially to start trying to isolate you from your friends and family.

He rings up his mates and put there partner on loud speaker and asks them if “do you find it easy looking after a baby?”
Despite their babies being under a year old they reply “yes” which makes me feel like a complete failure.

What the actual...??!! This is insane! OP, I think you've become so used to his manipulative tricks and comments you don't see them for what they are.

Worryingly it sounds like his 'mates' are the same. And their partners join in the bullying /gaslighting of you because they're scared of being the victim themselves.

This is more than male idleness. It is not a good situation for you or your toddler hon.

I wouldn't be surprised if DS was picking up on the atmosphere and reacting to it. I've heard from my own relatives that my brother acted up from a very young age. He was called a 'terror' and it was always seen as his fault - but as an adult, I can see how broken our mum was from our dad's behaviour. It does affect kids, and boys in particular respond with defiance, extreme tantrums, mood swings etc.

All toddlers are like this to some extent of course, but if it's frequent and intense, your son might need help moderating his behaviour. Some useful NHS advice here. I would also consider getting free of this man. Things aren't going to get any better.

But first I'd suggest confiding in your parents. They're probably worried about you and DS anyway, but don't know how to broach the subject. Good luck💐

Your partner is a twat.
I second the suggestion above to leave him to look after his child and just leave the house for 24 hours.
But longer term/if that doesn't give him the kick up the arse he needs, you need to boot him out.

He doesn’t want to come home and help. He wants to police what you say to your Mum so you can’t tell her the truth.

Are you married, OP?

You seem very financially vulnerable.

Leave him.
easily said than done.. but you’d get time to yourself and he’d have to step up.

these lazy bastards are everywhere…

Your partner is horrible! I'd be feeling low if I was married to him. The nursery should be a non negotiable. You want your life back and he should have no say in this as he isn't looking after your child! OP, put your foot down, you have nothing to lose. Your husband is no loss. If you got depressed, he would blame you for that too. Take care of yourself.

Are you sure he is at work seven days a week and doesn't have another family?

This

This with bells on!

Yes I would start by querying this op. No one works 7days a week, is there somewhere else he goes that he calls 'work'?

What job does he have that he works 7 days a week? He sounds like he's zero help and is dragging you down he is bullying you by making you feel incompetent and keeping you in his control.
I would get started by enrolling your child in nursery ASAP he is not willing to help so you need to take the steps to improve you and toddlers situation.
Oh and 100% do not give up your home!

DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR HOME

This is absolutely a partner issue and nothing to do with your lovely baby, so try and remember that, toddlers pick up on energy and it's not your child's fault he's got a horrid dad.
Your posts just make me think "there's no relationship here". You don't seem to spend any time together as he works and socialises separately from you, you seem to have no time as a family for the same reason, and he also has no relationship with his child. You write as if you don't love this man at all.
Honestly, I'd focus on independence, get your LO into nursery and apply for jobs, become yourself again, you clearly don't enjoy just being at home and if you've a job you can easily leave. Then you can live where you want, work where and when you want, collect your child maintenance and build a positive relationship with your little one.
I think whilst he pays for everything you're a bit stuck.
Try and focus on the fact this is a parenting/relationship issue not your toddlers fault. Toddlers cry, scream, throw toys and don't sleep, they're mini dictators who are just discovering free will and what they do/don't like, they've not developed empathy yet so they don't know how to care about your feelings but they do love and need you. Your baby and you need to be happy and loved.

You don’t have a toddler problem, you have a DP problem. He’s an arse. You said it yourself, he doesn’t appreciate how hard it is because he’s never looked after him alone before. Maybe suggest you have a weekend away with friends and he looks after your son. If his attitude hasn’t changed when you get back it’s time to split.

I would say the majority of men agree to have a kid to keep the woman happy. If it was solely their decision, not many would want to be fathers.

and don't give up your HA tenancy, they are secure tenancies and usually much cheaper to rent than private landlords.

I had 3 under 3 at one point, and my DH was pretty involved with them. If he'd been like Op's other half, I'd have done the same as your Mum.
Sometimes it takes a drastic move for things to change.
OP, next time your other half tells you you have a wonderful son point out that so does he, and when is he going to start caring for him, and treating you as an equal human being?

Agree. I really hope you find the courage to get rid of this manipulative man.

This is abuse. He is absolutely awful and is treating you like a slave. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you need a break. get rid for good, he will never change, because he is doing this deliberately.

I'm so glad you have family around you. Def sort out the nursery place. It will give you space to breathe.
As pp said, speak to the HO about your rights to the house if you split.
If he comes home when your family are there today, I would suggest you leave DC with him at home and go out for coffee with your family. He'll probably be less likely to kick off with other people there.
As far as his friends' partners saying how easy childcare is: if his friends are anything like him they may not dare say anything else.

And YY about not giving up your HA house.

You have a house. More importantly you have safe housing in a nice area. Dint let him take that away from you (He knows very well it isn’t his and he’d loose it you were to separate. Plus that it will make it harder for you to leave if you want to)

If anything THIS has to be the hill you’ll die on.