To be absolutely fed up of toddler?

Your OH sounds horrible and controlling! Was he not like this before children? Men like this are misogynistic “women belong in the kitchen” types and he sounds like he is around a bad bunch that encourage this as a norm.

I would see it as a red flag if a man stopped me doing anything. And if he can’t take his own child for a few hours. I know there is a dark part in society that tells men that looking after their own kids isn’t their job, and sometimes as women we have to show then it is. I would definitely walk out and leave the baby with him.

Persoanlly when my toddler is going wild, I put him in the pushchair and we just go for a walk. It’s the only practical tip I can give you that works for me everytime. I’m glad you found some playgroups. Having a bunch of mumfriends that are real and that you can rant with are a God send during these times.

I wasn’t having a pop. And if you read the OPs update, she admits her child is probably bored and has been much better today after attending a class with her.

Wind your neck in.

Not sure if there is one in your area but a charity called HOME-START helps to support families with children under 5. Volunteers come to your house and help once a week for a few hours. They are amazing, life changing some say! You can speak to your health visitor and can be referred through them.

I’m going to say - pick your battles with your toddler. If he hates the high chair try something else (small chair and table? Sit on your lap?). If he will eat when he has something to play with consider what might work for you to accommodate this. Teeth - non negotiable that they are done but something he enjoys to follow. Does he have to sleep in a cot? My granddaughter is 21 months. She has very strong ideas about what she wants and doesn’t want and has lots of big feelings (DD & granddaughter live with us). She also gets frustrated when she can’t explain to us what the issue is. She has words but not enough yet. If we can we accommodate her. Sometimes we can distract her. She is happier more of the time and so are the adults around her.

Did he agree to separate? Has he moved out?

Based on what? What a huge judgement you’ve made on the OP and not her husband who is neglecting his parental duty. Don’t have a pop at the mum - she’s the one doing it all and trying to survive! Such internalised sexism.

Typical two year old. You have to grin and bear it for a while.

Your partner is the problem, not your toddler. Maybe if dad was around more it would create a better environment. You would be less stressed and get time for yourself and more importantly, your toddler wouldn’t be feeding off your anxiety and playing up because that’s what kids do. You need to tell your husband to step up. Your life has changed significantly and for him to crack on as normal isn’t right. He should be respectful of you, not using you as a house keeper and child rearer. He doesn’t sound like a nice person. If he was he would be available. No need to work 7 days a week. He’s taking the piss out of you. You deserve so much better.

OH needs to leave. This is not a partnership and you have extremely different views on your future life goals. If you get a mortgage with him you'll be trapped.

You don’t have a child problem you have a husband problem. He sounds selfish and unsupportive so no wonder you’re exhausted. I have almost 3 yo twins and yep they are exhausting. But I cope because my partner is so helpful and hands on when he’s here. You are never getting a break by the sounds of it. You really need to reach out for help if you have anyone willing because you sound so burnt out.

He is extremely selfish and manipulative! what a disgusting bully. I’m glad you’re seeing him for what he is: a taker.

Please make all your future decisions based on what is best for YOU and completely discount his needs from the equation. No matter what he says to you, he does not show any care towards you in his actions and actions are so much more important than words!

How lovely! This could be your new every day life if you decide to get rid of the abusive partner. They really do drag you down all the time even if it's not always completely clear that it's happening. The constant disrespect and negging will have acted like a dark cloud over you. The people who love you are your son and your family, not the partner.

He sounds abusive and highly manipulative. Good for you for holding firm on your house. Why should he be rewarded with a house deposit?

It's wild how he resists you having any support, even if he's not the one providing it.

“His life has stayed the same, he works, he see’s his friends, he goes out, he goes on holiday.” Unbelievable!!! I would divorce him. You might as well be alone since he’s useless.

You sound like your doing the right thing this man sounds awful and getting other women to back him up is just awful.

my great niece was much easier at one than she is at two totally different ball game at 2 yo.

Do not give up your house. Take your parents very generous offer of paying a childminder and getting you a car so that you can get away from your partner. Your parents likely know he's trying to control you, so let them help you. Get your freedom back. You'll be a far happier mother once you get some control back in your life.

Ok @Whoknowsherebut in this particular case, the op actually wants to work as she needs a break from parenting. Universal credit is available too, free childcare too for workers.

I agree with you re maintenance. That the non-resident parent doesn't have to contribute towards childcare costs is appalling. However, in this case, OP isn't married, the house they live in is her HA property, her OH is obstructing her from earning money of her own, if her income is low UC will help with childcare costs so that she can work and her parents has also offered to help with childcare costs. If she stays with this abusive man he will buy a home in a rough area, force OP to leave her lovely HA property and she will become entirely dependent on him whilst having nothing that is in her name. Her situation is very different from yours and she would benefit both mentally and financially from not being with this controlling man.

I am going through the process now. In London. My husband does not want to spend time with the kids and I am being told there is nothing I can do. The maintenance I will get us 20% of his salary. You can use the calculator. While before to cover expenses etc etc he would use 80% of his salary. I M talking with gingerbread the charity that helps single parents, the amount of women that ended up in poverty after divorce is crazy… I am shocked ppl do not scream about it, the law is very very unfair on the main caregiver of kids who does not work, in cases where assets are not present.

Don't give up your house. Give up your OH

He sounds like a vile controlling bully

He is trying to control you. I would be seriously thinking about ending this relationship before he has completely trapped you. At the very least please speak to Women's Aid to get some impartial and professional advice on your situation

@Whoknowshere- do you actually know anything at all about the UK?!?

So basically if I put DC in nursery he will reduce my money by 75%.

But that's fine (not ethically, obviously, but practically), because you can get a job.

He really is objecting to DC going to nursery based on safety grounds.

No, he is objecting to your child going to nursery because having you without an independent income allows him to have more control over you.

You’re going to need to be strong. He will do everything in his power to keep control over you, and will get nasty.

He will also hate and blame your parents.

You're lucky your parents are supportive. They can see through him and will help you.

Do not give up your house.

You feel like that about your toddler because you resent your partner, and can’t take it out on him / discuss it. So how you feel manifests in a different way (towards your toddler).

Been there. Left. Now very happy.

Good luck x