I live in Australia and haven’t been home since 2022.
I’m planning a trip back to the UK next year and my children will be 6 and 2 by then. My youngest was born out here and so it will be his first time meeting most of my family (including my brother). My eldest was a toddler when we moved and so it will basically be his first time meeting anyone too.
My family live rurally and so my children and I will be flying Australia-London and then driving another 3-4 hours to my hometown. We have an 8hr drive to the Airport on the Aus side too, so it is a lot of travel and jet lag is going to be an issue also.
We are coming for 10 days which sounds bonkers as it’s such a long way to come, but my partner is able to come for 10 days or I fly alone with both children. My grandad has had strokes and it’s likely this will sadly be one of the last times we see him (hopefully not the last but I am bracing myself it may be).
As this trip is such a big deal and costing so much £££ already, we are actually going to be staying in a holiday cottage with my parents and grandparents, so they can really spend as much time with my children as possible and to limit the driving to see different people. Anyone that has lived away from your hometown and gone back to visit will know that everyone usually ends up saying oh come meet me here, come over to ours etc and we are trying to keep that to a minimum.
My brother also lives abroad (a 2hr flight away) and has no children. He flies back to the UK and then drives to our hometown 2-3 times a year. He will often drive all the way to our hometown and then all the way to see some of his wife’s family who are 2 hours away from there in a single weekend, which is of course a lot of travelling.
Here is my AIBU. We told my brother of the plan for the big family accommodation and that as we are paying he won’t have to pay anything, the place has enough space for him and his wife (a bedroom if they would like to stay) and he said to me why can’t I just fly to London and meet you there? Why can’t I just see you and the kids in central London? (He was suggesting meeting on a weekend before we fly back)
My husband has said it’s my family and up to me but he would prefer to not take them in to Central London on tubes etc at the ages they are and they are so young they aren’t interested in seeing Central London, they really just want to see the grandparents. I agree.
My brother has said he has no interest in coming to the holiday let. I sent him a message to let him know that as we are paying for the holiday let to minimize extra travel as my children would already have done so much and likely be jet lagged and due to their ages we won’t be doing central London. He has now asked if we can meet at Heathrow, but I can’t think of what we would do there? He made it clear he does want to see us and our children but ‘I don’t want to travel all the way back home again.’ I think he’s being rigid and I can’t understand why he’s willing to do it at other times and to see his wife’s family which is way more traveling then we are asking him to do. I mentioned he doesn’t have children as I don’t think he’s quite grasping that taking my children for several hours on the train to central London for basically a lunch is far from appealing. We get on well so I don’t understand why it feels like he’s holding this boundary with us over London or nothing when they travel to our hometown at other times?! It’s like they have agreed to stop doing it all the time but I don’t understand why they can’t make an exception for us. They are doing their same trip home twice before we even fly there next year!