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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it's inappropriate for parents to use sexualised humour around their 18+ children?

141 replies

HangryGooose · 18/05/2025 19:01

Really just curious to find out what others think.

I personally find it really uncomfortable and I'm not ok joking with my own kids in this way.

We were with friends of family at the weekend and they were openly joking with their kid (19) sexual innuendo type humour. One comment made was 'his favourite animal is definitely the beaver'.
Multiple type jokes directed his way throughout the evening.

Is this strange?

OP posts:
HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 16:52

GlutesthatSalute · 19/05/2025 16:22

Your posts are giving off really unpleasant vibes.

Are you of the male variety by any chance?

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Ahh we are ticking all the MN boxes now:

Infantalising adults to make men look worse
Calling men nonces when there's not proof they had anything to do with actual pedophilia
Calling people who disagree with you men

No, I'm not a man. I'm a woman with a different idea

Picklechicken · 19/05/2025 16:38

I find it totally gross but then I don’t like sexualised humour anyway. As I’ve got older (now mid 40s) I just hate it. Totally makes me cringe and there’s just no need.

GlutesthatSalute · 19/05/2025 16:22

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 16:14

ODFOD

No. It's not. Not if she is an ADULT

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Your posts are giving off really unpleasant vibes.

Are you of the male variety by any chance?

knittasgonna · 19/05/2025 16:18

I find it unappealing and would avoid sexual humour in general around my family. Jokes about their or my sexuality specifically would be even worse and possibly inappropriate, depending on the exact joke or other circumstances. I know not everyone feels this way, but it's just gross, imo.

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 16:14

GlutesthatSalute · 19/05/2025 15:30

It's noncey as fuck.

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ODFOD

No. It's not. Not if she is an ADULT

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 16:12

No, calling them "young" in this context is a deliberate attempt to infantalise them and make things seem much seedier. A classic MN problem.

TheHerboriste · 19/05/2025 15:44

GlutesthatSalute · 19/05/2025 15:30

It's noncey as fuck.

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Agree.
There are thousands of other topics for father and daughter to “bond” over. Besides sex.

GlutesthatSalute · 19/05/2025 15:30

TheHerboriste · 19/05/2025 14:42

It’s seedy for a father to be bantering and bonding about sex with his young daughter no matter the hairsplitting about age.

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It's noncey as fuck.

LoveTKO · 19/05/2025 14:49

That’s awful OP. Some boundaries wouldn’t go amiss.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/05/2025 14:43

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 14:12

No they aren't. Some are adults.

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OMG. Adults can be young too.

TheHerboriste · 19/05/2025 14:42

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 14:14

Saying young teenager gives it a seedier edge of it being a 13/14/15 year old
Rather than possibly and 18/19 year old who is an adult

But then this is MN so anyone under 30 is a child who shouldn't be trusted

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It’s seedy for a father to be bantering and bonding about sex with his young daughter no matter the hairsplitting about age.

Rabidbunnyrabbit · 19/05/2025 14:15

I remember my much older brother, who was essentially my father figure after my dad died, making sex jokes when DH and I moved in together. Oh, the cringe. It grossed me out massively. I suppose it depends on family dynamics and history though. Still...🤢🤮

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 14:14

TheHerboriste · 19/05/2025 14:07

What teenager isn’t young??

It’s very inappropriate. I would worry about a man who thinks the way to bond with his child is via sexual innuendo and banter.

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Saying young teenager gives it a seedier edge of it being a 13/14/15 year old
Rather than possibly and 18/19 year old who is an adult

But then this is MN so anyone under 30 is a child who shouldn't be trusted

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 14:12

Gwenhwyfar · 19/05/2025 13:47

Every teenager is young.

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No they aren't. Some are adults.

IAmTheLogLady · 19/05/2025 14:11

We must have quite a relaxed relationship with our 14 year old dts (boys).
I don't think it makes us low class, tacky etc.
We've just got a sense of humour we share with our children.
They know full well not to joke like this unless you know people well and know they don't mind.
It's really not a big deal to us.
Why did it shock you so much op ?
Is this really the first time you've observed something like this?

PraisebetoGod · 19/05/2025 14:09

It's a bit gross isn't it?!

TheHerboriste · 19/05/2025 14:07

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 13:27

You added "young" in there...

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What teenager isn’t young??

It’s very inappropriate. I would worry about a man who thinks the way to bond with his child is via sexual innuendo and banter.

IAmTheLogLady · 19/05/2025 14:06

HangryGooose · 19/05/2025 10:33

To whom should I report? 😉

Curious to hear other people's thoughts on the subject, even sarcastic ones.

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Log it with 11 to be on the safe side

Gwenhwyfar · 19/05/2025 13:52

MereNoelle · 19/05/2025 12:24

I have a really open and honest relationship with my mum, and feel like I could talk to her about anything gynaecology related etc without getting flustered in any way, but I’d find her making smutty jokes to me a bit cringeworthy 😳. Mainly because that’s just not her personality, or mine. But we are all different, and I don’t think it’s inappropriate as long as all parties are happy with it!

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But is your mother's sexual partner your father? If so, I would find that inappropriate. Different if she has a lover with no parental relationship to you.

tigger1001 · 19/05/2025 13:50

It's not my cup of tea, but don't find it inappropriate. They are adults and as long as they aren't being humiliated by it then let them crack on.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/05/2025 13:47

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 13:27

You added "young" in there...

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Every teenager is young.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/05/2025 13:47

pimplebum · 18/05/2025 21:07

At 19 I would be talking the exact same way to my child as I would with my friends

very weird to have two codes of conversation one with friends and one with adult children ??

Of course it's not weird.
Would you talk to your boss the same way you talk to your friends? Or a customer?

HuffleMyPuffle · 19/05/2025 13:27

TheHerboriste · 19/05/2025 13:12

Quite frankly, a father bantering with a young teen about sex is disturbing.

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You added "young" in there...

SunsetCocktails · 19/05/2025 13:25

PiousBitch · 18/05/2025 21:03

Ha. I play Cards Against Humanity with mine...

Snap 😂

TheHerboriste · 19/05/2025 13:12

lljkk · 19/05/2025 10:26

I don't engage with sons like this but exH had a lot of sex innuendo banter with teen DD... they are close friends now and then & both thought it hilarious to see how verbally witty they could skirt close to acceptable boundaries trying to shock the other but just inside boundaries of acceptable relationship. No lewder than what you can hear on Radio 4 entertainment programmes, tbh. Eventually most times she would give in with "Eeewww... Gross." to finish a session.

Quite frankly, a father bantering with a young teen about sex is disturbing.