To be a bit petty/spiteful

In fact this reads as "we aren't willing to put effort into the relationship and now we're sulking that they aren't rushing around after us to try and get our attention"

SATs are overhyped for importance and their only importance is for the school.

A weekend away is hardly disruptive to presumably your DD moving school, seriously when we moved up to "Big School" you had one transition day and then were expected to get on with it. If anything a party might help relax her

And oh no, they went to all the effort of sending a parcel, they must hate her because they also didn't ring?!

You sound so entitled

Do the other DC happen to live closer?

You live far away and they rarely see your DC: they aren’t realistically going to have the same relationship with them as they do grandchildren who they see more regularly, and if you aren’t actively making an effort to develop your DC’s relationships with them them then they’re probably pulling away in return - waiting for a call on DD’s birthday: surely she called her grandparents on the day to thank them for her present and that was the opportunity for them to wish her happy birthday? If DD didn’t call then they’re really only reciprocating the same level of interest. Being petty over MIL’s birthday isn’t going to solve anything.

I wouldn’t expect a grandparent to call a child on their birthday if they’d already sent them a card and a present, and SATs are a big deal to no adult except the parents and teachers of 11-year-olds. They’re not her A levels! I think YABVU.

She expects you to pay for a hotel? For that alone I wouldn't be going...

It's petty to expect others to keep track of your dcs lives like this. And actually not that interesting at all for anyone else.

Your mil sent a gift and card. Brilliant. Why isn't that enough?

You sound really hard work.

Send your dh. Although a party might be just the thing for you to relax, let your hair down and stop nursing stupid grudges.

😂😂
good spot! I assumed it was GCSEs

Sorry OP, that’s a very flimsy reason for not going. Year 6 SATS are definitely not ‘important tests’ in the great scheme of things. If you don’t want to go, that’s your decision to make of course but don’t try and justify it with ridiculous over hyped reasons

So your MIL sent a present and card.

She didn’t ask how tests went - which could be tactful, rather than a lack of interest.

And honestly, transition days aren’t that tiring.

🥱 🥱 Yes, DD’s important to you but everyone else has got other things going on in their lives which don’t involve her. Go, don’t go, whatever. My mum used to do things like this which meant my paternal grandparents were like strangers despite them living 20 minutes away. Makes me cross as an adult.

*edited as I realised it didn’t make much sense 🙄

Jeez - so she actually bothered to go out buy a card and gift, wrap them, post them in time - yet she’s evil because she didn’t ring on the day ffs!

It’s like you want a war, don’t be so horrible. Make peace, go celebrate her special day and be grateful your child has grandparents that care and actually make an effort and want you there!

I think you're over inflating the importance of year 6 SATS.....

DH goes. You stay home with the kids.

People don't always remember every little thing going on. It does sound unnecessarily mean to me.

You are being childish. But I think you know that already.

Transition day and what else? How would a stay in a hotel make it stressful for DD?

I would assume DH would have contacted his DM to tell her about DD test results, why wouldn’t he (or you), why are you expecting this woman to chase for details? She may have forgotten. Some things are also only important to DD and you as parents really, they don’t especially affect a DGM, although it would be nice for them to show interest, and I know I would ask how things went, but my DM would probably forget. I wouldn’t take offence, I’d just tell her.

She sent a card and gift, so birthday greetings, no?

If they sent a parcel and the birthday involves a stay then they obviously don’t live local to you, are you DC pretty much just small strangers to them?

It would be petty, and pretty much wasted as they wouldn’t know that’s why you weren’t there. Have you tried talking to them about how disappointed you both find their attention towards your DC?