AIBU to stop my partner from forcing our daughter into more sports?

you like SHOUTING don’t you @YearlySubscriptionRenewal

maybe a breath of fresh air?

Do you take them swimming? Would that count, she shouldn’t be discouraged from reading though.

My comment was re: ops specific situation and "rule" of "must do one sporting activity"

Reading and drawing aren’t ’doing nothing’. They’re not an inferior waste of time. And she already does PE at school and plays tennis.

Also, there are more ways to be physically active than having to attend organised sports clubs. I did precisely zero sports as a kid but I certainly a lot of running around, walking, climbing trees, bike riding, kicking a ball around, helping with gardening, playfighting, playing with and walking the dogs etc.

I would be seriously worried that a 10 year old would not want to do ONE THING a week, that's not normal.

I don't even know any kids who don't like activities. It goes from football to horse riding but it's very uncommon for children not to have an interest in anything at all. All the more reasons to encourage them to find one frankly.

Borderline abusive to not do a structured activity? Seriously? Some kids and adults don't like organised activities. It's also not fair on the other kids enjoying themselves to have a miserable child messing up the training or whatever because they don't want to be there. Many of these activities involve more standing around waiting their turn than moving. Humans have been on this earth for many generations and they did fine without a weekly activity. What they should be doing is playing and enjoying themselves, ideally outside running around.

Having rules that your kids have to do SOMETHING is pretty standard. Kids don't all naturally decide that they will do sport/ music and clubs. They are only kids, they need the push, it doesn't mean they don't enjoy it.

Not if the children didn't want to do it in the first place

Ok so to be clear (because you’re being a touch… vague)

you had a rule. One sports club.

She does tennis club (weekly?) in compliance with the rule.

correct?

What does "play tennis" mean?

Is she playing tennis every single day of the week? Then frankly at 10 it wouldn't hurt to try something else and alternate.

Is she playing ONCE a week for 1 hour? Then that's obviously not enough for a 10 year old. That's not even enough for a middle-age woman like me!

Tbh when you have one dictator-ship style rule it shouldnt be a surprise when one of the supporters of if it try to expand on it.

Yanbu to put your foot down, bit seriously WTAF with having this "rule" in the first place!

how often does she play tennis?

What does she do Saturday mornings, Sunday mornings and Sunday afternoons?

I wouldn't leave my kids just reading every Saturday afternoon either. Again, family of readers here, but there's enough time between 12 and say 9pm on Saturday to read and have an activity.

Out of my 4 only one was interested in 1 sporting activity that they wanted to do. Having a rule that they have to do one sporting activity is ridiculous. Put your foot down and say she doesn't want to do one. Doesn't she tell her dad herself. It is horrible to force someone to do something they don't want to do and have no interest in. He sound awful.

Your husband is setting your child up for a life of feeling resentful of associating exercise with being unhappy, and feeling that her interests are silly and trivial and not good enough to gain her father’s respect. Leave the poor kid alone.

So she plays tennis every weekend as per the “rule”?

This it is a absolutely awful rule because sports and sport activity isn’t for everyone.

I would sit him down and tell him very clearly that his DD isn’t him, all the activities he loves aren’t for her and making her do them is going to make her unhappy, drive a wedge between them and cause issues. He is trying to parent a child that doesn’t exist, one that is as sporty as him rather than accepting his daughter for who she is.

and he needs to do the latter fast, accept his child for who she is and what she likes before their relationship becomes strained

No

she plays tennis

the rule was one sports

Tennis is a great sport and one of the great social sports that can take her through life. He is an idiot.

No, if she just enjoys tennis then let her play tennis. If you (both of you, not just him) and her agree that she should do another activity something more creative like dance or rhythmic gymnastics might suit better that mountain biking or boxing.

Encouraging your 10 year old to be active instead of staying home doing nothing, what a twat indeed.

My mother came from a family of extremely gifted athletes. One of my sporty cousins was and is called legendary by the media. In retrospect, my mother must have been dismayed she produced a bookish child with no discernable sporting aptitude and an almost complete inability to catch a ball. If she was disappointed she never let on about it. She bought me loads of books and supported me in my interests. I think your husband sounds like an insensitive boor. I suspect your daughter will choose a far away university and/or leave home as soon as she can.

to be fair, it's not about "weight" and it shouldn't be.

It's about health! Physical and mental, and give them good healthy habits for now and their future.

Medical professionals have been banging on the benefits of physical activities at all age for decade, it's been more than proven how necessary it is to be and stay active.

Seriously OP, buck up!!

I am guessing your dh is a bit of a twat generally and unhappy marriage. Yes?