DH called me a vile, nasty piece of work

Your husband does sound horrible, though. Hope you can get out of there.

Well your husband should know that ADHD is a disability and if conversations overlap a bit that’s normal for someone with adhd, and whilst it can be frustrating, it is understandable.

Your son is learning to be abusive to women like his dad.

I think you need to tell your DH he either shapes up or ships out.

YABU for allowing your child to grow up in a household like this. Your kids deserve better.

Yanbu OP

Of course its not unreasonable to get a teen to spend one hour, out of an entire weekend, out the house moving.

It sounds like:
Your husband is horrible about you
He frequently says stuff about you infront of the kids (most kids won't parrot things they've heard just once)
He argues with you infront of the kids

None of this is ok. It's really damaging for children to hear one parent slagging the other one off.

Do you want to stay with him? Have you ever had a general discussion about jt, does he even think this is wrong? Would he go to counselling?

I assume that everyone saying just leave the teen to wallow in the dark gaming is basing their opinion on the multiple scientific experiments that have been carried out that say infinite screen time, minimal exercise & zero exposure to the outside world is actually the most beneficial thing for children/teenagers?

Yes but do you like each other, which was what the pp was asking. I think it’s an important question.

Agree. They're right. You wanted things your way.

Interesting you haven’t address the “talking over” comment or the suggestions that you always want it your way.
Are you going to ?

Not nice behaviour OP. Not read the whole reply thread, sorry, but I’d say schedule some time where you’re calm and ask to talk to him. Tell him how hurt you are, listen to what he replies. Agree on a way forward. With cool heads. No point in getting all het up and emotional in front of kids, do it behind closed doors. Easier said than done. Fingers crossed for a good outcome. Relationships are really difficult sometimes especially with kids in the mix!!!

I think most people are missing the point here. For DH to call you a vile etc etc. Leave him or kick him out. Easier said then done, I know. But if you have no have self respect. Without this DS will speak to you EXACTLY as his father does. Much to the happiness of DH. Go girl. It will only get worse.

Your husband sounds really nasty and you are his target. Now your son is copying his dad and you will never get your husband to back you up - he will always side with his son.

If you did separate and your son lived with his dad for half of the week, then your son would get to game non-stop and you'd be seen as the bad guy, trying to enforce a healthier lifestyle and a better attitude towards women.

Hmm.

i’ve had nasty foot injuries including broken bones.

I’ll be honest, if I’m in pain and can’t move very well then going to the park is not high on my list of things to do. Crutches are a bugger to use and really hurt your hands.

garden, yes. Gentle mobilisation, yes.

your dh does sound unpleasant but it does sound a bit like you ride a bit roughshod over your family.

if you do talk over other people then they are reasonable to ask you to stop. It is rude.

This.

I can’t believe so many people are implying it’s your fault that he speaks to you like that. Please don’t listen to them. He sounds awful and by staying with him you are indicating to your kids that this is a reasonable way to speak to a woman (or anyone!).

OP has explained this. As a parent she was trying to get him out and moving for his mental health. She can’t just let a teen do whatever he wants aged 13, imagine what that would end up looking like!

My first issue is with him first naming you. The level of disrespect.

I would have very quickly been reminded that “it’s mum to you.”

You’re his mother, and are entitled to demand that he doesn’t sit festering in his room all weekend. It’s within his best interests to get out, and he wasn’t going to do it without encouragement.

Your husband sounds like an idiot. If he thinks you’re so vile, he should go and find someone he doesn’t feel that way about. I’d imagine he’d struggle to find a rational grown up woman who is accepting of his desire to game all weekend like a teenage boy.

That's really your take from all of this?

When he started why did you not say OK well you two go back inside I will go to the park? Because I would in fact I have my ex used to turn the tables on me like this quite regularly I would take the opportunity to go out leave him with his child and stay a little longer than he was comfortable with usually ended with him having a breakdown and telling everyone how bad I was for leaving him

He didn't want to stay home and be miserable he wanted ME to stay home and be miserable

I would do everything I could to get a 19 yo that hadn't left the sofa in days out of the house for an hour.

Or any aged family member tbh.