DH called me a vile, nasty piece of work

I think there are a number of issues here:
Adolescents are notoriously moody, rebellious and challenging. And many like nothing more than lying about in stuffy, unpleasant environments. We have to provide them with appropriate, safe boundaries and guidelines for acceptable behaviours, and wait until they mature a bit. I can remember being furious and huffy about being dragged out by parents for a Sunday walk, but I wasn't given a choice. I survived.
If your son was seen by a medical professional and had the crutches provided by them, I expect that he was given advice on rehabilitating that included the correct physio excercises for the injury. Usualy NHS will provide links to videos and printed information with descriptions and pictures of the excercises he should be doing daily. He was given crutches to enable him to be mobile. He is risking long-term damage by not doing this.
I'm not sure why an outing needs to be for the four of you going to the park. Could your son have a short walk round the block with his brother or a friend, or you a couple of times a day and increasing his time off the sofa over the next couple of weeks?
I am sorry that you husbands undermines you and is verbally abusive. Is there someone supportive you can talk to about this? It would be very sad if your son developed into an adult who understood this to be acceptable and behaved in this way towards his future partners.
Best wishes

I pick my battles it’s so important to get them out. Ive let my daughter chill because she just finished her sats had a really busy week and I could see by her mood she was knackered by Friday.

I don’t see why being on crutches stops him from being out and about . He’s only young and shouldn’t be lazing around .
When my youngest broke his leg and had a full plaster cast on , he got told off by the hospital for playing football on his crutches 😂.

To be honest, putting aside that your husband speaks to you in a horrible way (unacceptable), if you are the sort of person to force someone out of the house with a leg injury (I was in a cast for months and this would have been terrible), then maybe you are the sort of person to be „my way or the highway“? Maybe you are difficult and demanding. Just possibly two sides to this.

Even if it’s insist I don’t think the mum is being a bad guy for telling her kids they need to get a change of scene, some exercise and fresh air! I think she’s being a good mum, getting them to do something entirely painless as a family for their mental and physical health instead of taking the easy way out and letting them do whatever they want. Cant believe people are giving a mum a hard time for getting her kids off their screens (mine aren’t at that phase so maybe I’m missing something but my cousin says she massively regrets not doing just this when her son disappeared into his room at a young age for entire days as it’s much harder to put in boundaries later when they’re used to being in control of everything).
and of course, the husband sounds so disrespectful that a serious chat about how his words are impacting you in needed OP.

So many posters focusing on the wrong thing here as usual - the in's and out's of whether the kid should get some fresh air are NOT really the issue (although I'm with OP on this). OP's husband calling her a "horrible woman" and "vile" and denigrating her for years in front of their children is the issue and it's completely unacceptable. OP your husband sounds like a horrible bullying arsehole. I agree with other posters who 'get it' that this is completely unacceptable way and unfortunately your son is learning that it's ok to speak to you this way too. This is a bigger problem than a tiff over whether to go to the park for half an hour or not.

My Ex has adhd and so does my daughter.

Honestly I do think your DH was out of order but after twenty years living with two Adhders I don’t know how I didn’t commit murder.

i virtually never got a full sentence out without someone interrupting me.

your dh was out of order.

but don’t underestimate how much you talking over people can be really upsetting to them.

My daughter recently started speaking to me like crap after spending time at her dads. At her request she has stopped sleeping over but still sees him. Guess what? She has now stopped speaking to me like that because she was witnessing her dad speak to his wife like that. I’d tell him to pack his bags.

So, basically, you make an adult man and a teenager do things that you enjoy, just because you think the things you enjoy are better?

literally called being a parent. You make your kids do what is best for them. Spending a weekend gaming is not healthy and OP would be a lazy parent to let him.

If the OP is married with a lazy slob, of course he's an adult and she can't force him to go out and do something, as unappealing as he might be. She's not wrong to ASK him.

You are taking the wrong lesson here. The first time a partner said I was a “horrible woman” would have been the last. You are sticking with an absolute shit of a husband and its going to ruin your relationship with your children and turn them into terrible partners in their turn.

Exactly!
The thing is I think younger women are pretty good with boundaries so it’s unlikely this young man will ever have a successful relationship with any woman if he speaks to them like that…quite sad really

Hah OP, not to get stuck on this, but I have ADHD and absolutely talk over people, even on meds, and even when really trying not to. Yet it absolutely drives me nuts when other people do it (weirdly with the sole exception of other ADHD friends as we're thinking at the same speed).

You're right to be really pissed off and upset with what was said, but it sounds like you need to sit and talk to your DH about the state of your relationship. You're never going to stop doing some of the things that wind him up - a lot of it is likely part of the ADHD and therefore part of you and not subject to change. That includes things like sometimes not acknowledging that other people don't want to do the things you want to do.

So can he live with that and support and love you? Or is he going to drip poison constantly? And can you acknowledge how annoying some of this stuff is? I know I have to apologise and take responsibility for being insufferable sometimes, even though it's part of the ADHD and I really can't help it, because it does have effects on others and that is my responsibility, regardless.

From your updates you do sound like hard work.

So, basically, you make an adult man and a teenager do things that you enjoy, just because you think the things you enjoy are better?

I’ll be honest, if I’d been chivvied along to sit on a bench in a park when I was a teenager on crutches, when I was perfectly happy chilling on the sofa with a book or a pile of VHS tapes of my favourite horror films, I would have been massively resentful too. He’s not a young child; just leave him at home. I think once they get to teen years they’re always going to be pissed off when you don’t let them relax in their own leisure time.

And if my partner now was telling me, a grown adult, that I had to go for a walk and some fresh air because he’d decided I was spending too much time indoors, I would be telling him very clearly to stop infantilising me and telling me what to do.

Does he often talk absolute rubbish about you? In what context?

The OP says he's speaking to her in the same way as his dad.

It's awful for your mental health to stay locked up all day. People need to go out and about.

Hopefully (and very likely) the OP didn't make the child do more than a few steps on crutches. Maybe the husband should have suggested another kind of outing, or buy the kid an ice-cream or something, but it's lazy and poor parenting to leave your kids at home all day doing nothing!

I fucking despair at some mothers of sons. If you think this is an acceptable way for a son to speak to his mother then I fear for our daughters.

You did nothing wrong. Of course your child needs to leave the house ffs, all these people saying he shouldn’t.
Mine had a full leg cast, still went to school and still was made to leave the house.
Your husband is a prick though, I couldn’t be doing with that disrespect.

By letting it slide, you are teaching your son and his father that it’s ok to talk to you like that. Your silence suggests that you might agree with what your h says too which is damaging for your son as it normalises verbal abuse and increases the chances of him treating his future girlfriends like that. He repeats his dad’s words because you and his dad have normalized that dynamic between men and women and it would not surprise me that this will escalate as he gets physically bigger and more cocky because his dad’s attitude empowers him to feel that way.

A 13yo trying to resist family time? Normal and frustrating. But it’s your (you and your h) responsibility to model how relationships should be because it will have a massive effect on Ds’ views on relationships. Hard to say if Ds has a point like you talking over people but he can also learn how to do it sensitively since you’re his mum and not a punching bag.

@Someone2025 How come you want to know that? Is that really relevant?

Being on crutches is exhausting but you said that he won't go out in your garden or even have the windows open. So yes, he does need some activity to prevent the complications that comes from not moving around enough and they can be severe. Plus, he shouldn't be able to dictate the windows open or closed except in his room. A house needs fresh air and so do people.

Your nasty husband is modeling disrespect directed at you to your son and he's picking it up and running with it.

There needs to be a family talk about the disrespect in the house and consequences.

Your husband dislikes you and is setting you up to be the bad guy of the home. That's such an unhealthy adversarial dynamic. Do you want to stay in this marriage? You might consider marriage counseling if you do.

That's not what I said? I wouldn't automatically assume it - at 13 he's at secondary school, he has a phone, so there are possible influences in addition to his dad

Have you been diagnosed ADHD?