DH called me a vile, nasty piece of work

Yeah and validates the behaviour - "you're just as bad".

I wouldn’t do this, it tends to escalate matters rather than scare off a bully.

DH got very angry, said I was a nasty piece of work, vile, a horrible woman

I’ve never called dh names during an argument, nor would dh ever speak to me like that, in private, never mind in front of the children.

You are absolutely correct op that this behaviour is affecting the dc. It’s unacceptable, in front of dc.

Every couple will argue about things, challenge each others ideas and behaviours but name calling is disrespectful and contemptuous.

How about giving your husband a taste of his own medicine ( call him some rotten names back) to see if that stops it….he is doing it to you because he can, if he thought there would be repercussions that affected him he wouldn’t be doing it….same with all bullies, when you do their behaviour back to them they run scared

Don't do this op. Do not break up your family over something so small.
He was wrong but work through your issues
He has apologized which is a start.

You have to decide what you're prepared to tolerate, OP, and what you're going to do when that line is crossed.

For me, this language from both husband and son is completely unacceptable. Furthermore, both your boys are learning it's fine to speak to the women in their lives with contempt. It doesn't matter if you've done something they don't like - it doesn't give them the right to insult you.

It might be a good idea to sit down and have a calm conversation with DH, if that's possible, expressing how you feel, your concerns about the impact on the family relationships, and also listening to how he feels.

But only you can decide how to address this.

Did you have this fight with your son there? Did this all happen with your son listening? I think this is the bigger issue. Myself and dh are fighting a lot lately but only when eg not in the house because we once argued because of a child if you know what I mean in front of them and the look of terror on his face.

As for the nasty vile piece of work thing, people say it on here all the time, and not always meaning it as strongly as I take it so it’s not necessary an Andrew tait thing, women look at women talking about men, Id assume men are trying to figure out their place in relationships too but you both definitely need to have an evening out of the house and a big talk

What a stupid post..

No wonder kids are so fucking feral these days.

Her son might consider wanking himself half to death in the dark every weekend over hard-core porn valuable.

She's his parent. She's the adult. Her opinion is more important, more experienced and of a lot more value of that of a child.

She was absolutely right to get her son out and about for some fresh air and a vitamin D infusion.

She shouldn't be verbally and emotionally abused by her husband for trying to improve her sons quality of life. Whether the little misogynist in training likes it or not.

How much moving is he going to do sitting on a park bench?

I'm no expert but isn't it important to move around if you have an injury so your body doesn't seize up so to speak?

You put it so much better than I did. Thank you.

Resting 2 days after 5 days moving about at school is probably best for any injury.

Your DS may well be repeating things he's heard your DH say but perhaps you all need to take a look at what's going on in your family. It's not acceptable for him to be rude to you. But you really do sound quite controlling as well and you're not helping the situation.
A 13 year old should be capable of a reasonable discussion as to why he can't sit in a dark room gaming all day. But that doesn't mean he should be forced to go to a park he can't play in to watch his siblings having a good time. That's really a rather mean thing to do.
He's using his dad's language to stand up for himself. He's got a shit role model but that's not his fault. You and your DH need to provide a better image of how people should behave when they don't agree with each other.
And, no, people don't talk over each other. They listen and talk in turn. Nothing worse than trying to put your point of view across to someone who never lets you finish a sentence or get your say. it's hugely disrespectul whether to another adult or a child.

Wow, so you think it is acceptable to talk over children, not listen to them, and dictate enforced “fun” that makes them miserable?

I sense your children will be on the “but we took you to stately homes with play parks” thread.

Presumably he goes to school? If so, I’d imagine he’s moving around then.

I had an MPFL reconstruction on my knee, and was on crutches for months. Keeping mobile is important, but I still wouldn’t force my son to go to the park if he didn’t want to.

He goes to school 5 days a week. Staying home on a Sunday is hardly going to give him a blood clot.🤣

All the “festering” at home was hyperbole.

What kind of consequences are you willing to enforce over this? You know it's unacceptable, and you know you can't control what other people do; you can only control your response. It's happening repeatedly and will happen again. This must make decision making with your partner very stressful and difficult. Personally? I would end the relationship, or at least put DH on notice that speaking to me in that way will end the relationship. But don't say that unless you mean it. You can't possibly get traction with your son about this being unacceptable if he sees that it's actually frequently accepted from his dad.

@LoremIpsumCici

"Or should it be shut up and put up?"

Yep, because sometimes children including (some might say especially) teenagers need to. Autonomy isn't a given right in every and all circumstances. Same goes for adults and society as whole actually.

There is not much she can do about her DH winding her up. There is something she can do about ds attitude.

Wrong. My youngest just had a torn ACL last fall and was on crutches. The orthopods who treated her gave her three days off work and then she was able to go back to work. They did expect her to move around in those three days. She works on her feet in the lab. No driving restrictions or not riding in a car. Yes, it's painful but it's better than clots or pneumonia.

Look up complications of bedrest. It's why they get people who have had surgery up and moving within hours. He had a leg injury and you want to support blood return to the heart with activity. OP has said he's refusing to get up and even go in their garden. He requires activity every so often.

What is wrong with
“stop talking over me” and “it’s your way again” when that is what is happening?

You are being talked over, you are being forced to do something someone else’s way.

How do you object to it? Or should it be shut up and put up?

He's the child you're the adult discipline him. Don't take no rubbish from a 13 year old. You carried him for 9 months and went through hell pushing him out and then the trauma of bringing him up don't put up with it.