DH called me a vile, nasty piece of work

@LoremIpsumCici, a woman in an abusive relationship is not a side issue to be acknowledged while you then "move on" to other topics which are, in my opinion, completely irrelevant to this woman's situation. The number of posts on this thread dealing with the do's and don't of recovering from a lower limb injury, or the best way to get teenagers out of the house far outweigh discussion of the most important issue which is the abusive relationship. In addition, several posters, yourself included, have jumped to the bizarre conclusion, based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever, that the OP is "controlling" for simply trying to parent her 13 year old.

I think that If you wish to discuss lower limb injuries and recovery from same, or the best way to parent teenagers you should perhaps start a new thread(s). The OP wasn't actually asking for advice on either or those topics, the clue is in her thread title "DH called me a vile, nasty piece of work".

Name calling is abusive, your partner is abusive and he is teaching your son to be abusive.I suggest you let your partner know that you will leave him if the namecalling and any other abusive behaviours don't stop immediately and then follow through. I was in the same situation and did this myself, The parroting behaviour stopped after that, it was for the best. Good luck!

@Sealhouse,
That point has been made & universally agreed to.
It’s not a derail for posters to move on and raise other, equally valid points that naturally arise.
There is no need to police the thread because posters aren’t exclusively talking on one single point.

Hi OP, I've had two posts deleted for pointing out the obvious, which is that there are certain posters here derailing your thread with irrelevant advice and are completely missing the point that your husband is abusive. Please start a new thread in Relationships, you will likely get much better advice over there. Best of luck.

There was a wonderful thread on here a few years ago about getting teens out the house generally.
One said how she burst into their rooms with a sense of urgency, we have to go now sort of thing and hustled them into the car..
Said a small trip, shops urgent item of food you run in sort of thing but then did a small detour on the way back...

Lots of fabulous tips...
Teens do need to get out it their rooms sometimes!!

Some posters were advocating total autonomy for children/teenagers and I, along with many other posters, don't agree. I didn't say you should talk over children but I don't think young people should always have the final say or be responsible for making family decisions. Do you? Do you always build your whole family's life - holidays, days out, visits to grandparents, appointments etc - around whatever the teenager wants to do or thinks appropriate? The OP took her 13 year old and younger child to the park for an hour on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I could be wrong, but I don't think that's something the European Court of Human Rights would need to investigate and I'm pretty sure he won't need therapy for it.

He is verbally abusive. Or does that not count to you?

It doesn't have to be physical to be abusive.

He is not physically abusive

Absolutely mental that people think a mum is somehow wrong for encouraging her young teen to go outside and get some sun and air.

Tbh, this is the type of post where you feel you need both sides of the story. For someone to come out with a comment like this, they must be nasty themselves, or at the end of their tether with the behaviour of the other person. It’s always difficult to judge because you don’t have the ‘uncut’ version.

Just ignore those trying to derail the thread.

Not when the "games" are abusive.

Joining this late but your op sounds to me like your husband doesn’t like you. He may stay married to you in all ways but he doesn’t actually like you.

Because it's a change of scenery for someome who has been stuck in the same place for ages.

Reading some of these responses, OP is literally torturing him 🙄

It certainly could increase the risk of complications if he's sitting on the sofa for hours at a time on the weekend. One of the risks is also depression. He lives in a household that seems very on edge.

Riding in a car or on the train are not restricted post injury. I don't know where you're getting your info from but it sure isn't ortho.

Sometimes you have to play people at their own silly little games

If the room is fetid, then that isn’t the child’s fault as he is on crutches. You can game in a clean, bright, fresh room. Many games are also educational and develop critical thinking skills through problem solving. Other games require creativity and eye/hand coordination. Gaming can be more valuable than sitting on a park bench observing pigeons poo-ing everywhere.

It's worrying that your son is growing up to be verbally abusive to women, learned behaviour from his verbally abusive father.

The lack of respect and verbal abuse you regularly receive from your DH would make me rethink being married to him. Your son will turn out just like him if things don't change very soon.

Sitting in a fetid room gaming is definitely not valuable. To anyone.

Just chiming in with solidarity over the 'parroting' behaviour. My son does it occasionally and it leaves me speechless when it happens as it's so unnerving. I was once reprimanded by DH for almost losing sons jacket in Ikea and got a slow clap and sarcastic "well done" which I had to relive a few days later when something else upset son too. We had a bit of a heart-to-heart and 6yr old son said he couldn't think what else he could have said...

Very mature. Perfect way to deal with it 🙄

That’s right and then the DC watching this seeing both mum and dad doing it think it’s ok.

Of course it's triggering for you. Your husband is emotionally and verbally abusing you.

Your son is going to turn out just like him. Your husband is training him well.

The fact your husband is watching loads of misogynistic content shows just who he is. Does he really believe all that crap he sees online? Does he not realise a lot of it is made up and staged?